What do social worker's do?

[Ketrick]

Hi there, I don't know if this is the correct forum. I have a healthy, happy seven year old, who is doing well at school. I have a chronic physical illness which means I do not work and I sometimes have to go into hospital. I went into hospital for the whole of last week. I am a single mum.

I phoned the school to ask them to keep an eye on my son. His dad, who loves him very much, but who has, in the past, not always looked after him as well as I would like, took a week off work to stay in our house and look after him.

As it happened, although he didn't brush his teeth twice a day, and his hair was unwashed, my estranged husband looked after my son well. However, I received a letter this morning from the local county council stating that my son had been allocated a social worker.

This would be useful in the event that I die, but I do not have a terminal illness. I am a little upset that someone has "reported" me to the social services. My son is the centre of my universe and I have worked hard to make sure he is loved deeply and taken very good care of, each day, every day.

What am I supposed to say to this woman, what is she supposed to do? Surely they should spend their resources allocating social workers to children who are neglected, or worse, not to people who are caring for their children properly? I feel quite upset by the whole thing, and I suspect my son will be both mystified and perhaps a bit upset too.

All the best,
Ketrick

could be because, as you say, you do sometimes have to go into hospital and you yourself expressed concerns about his dad looking after him, although i probably wouldnt have mentioned anything if it was only hair washing and teeth brushing.

SW could just be coming out to see if you need any support, try to treat it as a good thing that they want to help rather than seeing it as an intrusion as you'll probably end up getting off on the wrong foot with each other if you see what i mean?

I agree it does seem a bit quick though, some people with children with SN wait years to be assigned a SW, ds has CP and didnt have one till he was 5.

Thank you Glittery. I suppose it can't do any harm to have an outside agency available to support my son if I become very and suddenly ill. I shall just be open and honest with her and if she wishes to interview my son in private I would have no hesitation as I know he loves his life and is a happy little soul.

I am sorry to know that some people wait years to be allocated a social worker when they really need one badly, that's all very wrong and something needs to be done about that. If anyone is in that position they should complain to both their MP and take it through the Local Governments ombudsman complaints process, although I can see this might be tiring and difficult when you are giving 24 hour a day care to a special needs child.

All the best
Kate

Hi Starlight, Thank you so much, that's really reassuring. As it happens I have applied to my patients' association for my illness for a grant to take my little boy on a short break at easter to make up for the uncertainties he has experienced with me being ill. If that doesn't come through maybe the social worker can point me in another direction.

But what you have told me has assured me that nobody thinks I have been cruel to him!

All the best
K

I would have thought it was very unlikely that the SW is just because of his hair and teeth (looking at the little haystack I have the dubious pleasure of parenting). But not at all uncommon to have a SW assigned when there is illness in the family, just to help with suggesting support and seeing if there is any special support your son needs because of this situation. (My ds was on waiting list for Young Carers Association because his sister is disabled, despite the fact that both his parents are healthy and living together).

Agree with starlight that one important issue they will look at is your ds as a 'young carer'. Of course you know best if he is doing any caring for you but it is good they're checking it out. Also the SW should be able to talk to your DS to ensure that he's not too anxious about your health...sometimes kids work really hard to protect adults and don't feel they can show their worries....so having an outside view to look at your DS's situation should be a good thing.

Hope you find it useful! If it's come from the school, the referral for a SW, I think it's great and it sounds as if everyone is doing their jobs well just to ensure that your DS is supported if necessary [smile}

My guess is that SS are wondering if you need support as a single parent who has just come out of hospital and if this is the case I am impressed ( it used to happen in my mums day - home helps were common place for mums newly discharged from hospital!). We got allocated a SW ( I asked) when I became very ill (ds has sn, DH works away from home a lot). A lot of the support is there to support the child - for instance we may get direct payments to help pay a carer to take ds (who is much calmer and happier if he has lots of physical exersise) out once a week when I am unable to because of illhealth. Hope all goes well and you are soon feeling well again.

Thank you Cory, Cirrhosis and Mags, yes, I often wonder how much my lovely boy is affected by me being ill, I would crawl over hot coals to make sure I look after him properly, but it can be nice for him to see me do it. I like to imagine we talk frankly about our feelings and how things affect us, but he must hide his distress sometimes. I would be happy for someone to assess how he might feel.

It has struck me like lightning how little support or interest there is in our society in single parents who are seriously and chronically ill. We seem to be viewed dimly by some, and not seen at all by many. I hope that it would do my son no harm to have some interest from a caring and interested social worker.

k xxx

Yes I think we are much more 'on our own' than in previous generations (with moving away from family to work) - which is a problem when chronic illhealth interfers! ( And I think it is all people not only single parents although as a mum I feel quite invisible most of the time). I agree with Starlight - SW are well informed on what is out there and referring on. Their own budget and funds are kept more for crisis situations.
ds did not clean his teeth or hair(or change his socks) whilst I was in hospital either!

SW may be well informed, but when one came out to me, all she did was draw up a care plan of what my care needs were, which SS then have proceeded to ignore for the following 2 years. The SW who came out promised all sorts of help for me and my DC's (I have a chronic long term health problem, and am registered disabled, and 2 of my 3 DC's also have complex care needs) which has never materialised, and I've not heard or seen anything of them since...

( Thanks for the warning Loudlass - I thought it was too good to be true! Will take it all with pinch of salt!)

You might be in a less terminally under-funded area than me though, from what I can work out, this is more of a massive problem for Essex SS providing adult social care for under 60's than in most other areas.