DS (8 yr old one of twins, 'lightly touched with Asperger's') is v anxious about having an accident at school, as he usually has 5 to 6 poos a day, if he's at home. He seems to have either diarrhoea or constipation or sort of both, all the time.
He is completely phobic about using toilets for poos outside of home - though will 'go' if we're staying somewhere else as a 'home base'. So he holds it in all day at school and is desperate to get home. This is affecting his concentration at school and ruining family day trips out, as we have to come home as soon as he 'needs to go'.
He had a tunny bug last yr at school, resulting in major 'accident', fortunately at end of school day and I was able to shower him in boys toilets, fully dressed - We're talking, MAJOR/ everywhere including in his hair accident .
I think no other children found out but he's naturally paranoid that this might happen again.
So he's torn between needing to go, v v frequently (won't even break wind unless on toilet) but being unable to 'go' unless back at home. The school know about it and last yr even gave him special permission to use the private staff/visitor toilet but he's been far too self-conscious and embarassed to use this ever.
Finally, he's dyspraxic and finds it nigh on impossible to wipe himself and so, at home, I do this still. He's afraid of getting it on his hands or not wiping enough.
Over Xmas he and twin stayed away at friends for 2 nights (only my third break overnight in nearly 9 yrs - but only used to catch up on tax return ). When he came home, he smelled noticeably of poo and had 'skid marks' and needed a long bath/ wash. He'd clearly either overwiped and underwiped and also had awful soreness for days afterwards. At least he'd used their loo though.
He's heading for 9 yrs old in a few months and there'll be school trips away over several nights and maybe even sleepovers (not done this yet).
How do I help him - with personal hygience skills, with his phobia of other toilets, with his need to poo several times a day?
The only thing a GP has ever said, when I mentioned the constant pooing was, "Oh good. He's obviously got a good cleaning out system and we all differ in number of times we 'go'".
He's had 'something going on' with his bowels since birth (used to have massive, nappies, unformed BMs) but nothing ever diagnosed and no idea if it's food intolerances, allergies, eating too quickly without chewing, eating with mouth open and taking in lots of air, soemthing wrong with his bowel....dunno
Where do I go with this? Any shared experiences, ideas, suggestions please?