Mainstream school this Septemeber, so worried!

[mynameis]

Ds aged 4 is currently in the Statementing process with the hope of getting the statement complete by July for a September start into mainstream primary.

We have had so much conflicting advice ranging from 'A Special Needs school isn't an option' to 'he may not cope with mainstream after the reception year'

Just feeing really worried and confused.
Ds has an ASD diagnosis (high functioning) along with a speech delay. I think my main worry is that he will get left behind by putting him in mainstream school.

Any positive starting school stories would be greatly appreciated.

"We have had so much conflicting advice ranging from 'A Special Needs school isn't an option' to 'he may not cope with mainstream after the reception year'"

I was told exactly the same things when my ds1 was due to start school. The general prediction was that he would be statemented by Yr1 and probably transfer to special school in KS2. Like your ds he had a dx of HFA and a speech delay (he started talking at around 3yrs old).

I had a lot of the same worries that you are probably having right now. Obviously a lot will depend on the individual child and the school itself but ds1's experience turned out to be a good one.

He is now 9yrs old and still at the same school. He is doing well and would happily go to school 52 weeks a year if given the option.

He's doing well academically, has friends, and is included in absolutely everything. Like most children he still has aspects of school that he's not so keen on - mainly PE and school assembly - but generally enjoys his time there.

I think what helped relieve the worries for me at this stage was when the transition meetings were set up and I could see for myself that the school was getting an accurate picture of what ds1 was like and what his individual needs were. I think the transition meetings started from March onwards but this might be different if statementing is involved.

We're a few years on from you, in that after 3 or 4 very happy and successful years at ms part-time, we are now consideriing when to go sn full-time.

Settling in was great, as the same PA came to school from playgroup, and a lot of the same kids.

My dd2 is not ASD, so we had different sort of difficulties - mostly about accessability, and the fact that you cannot exclude the only sn kid from the activity. The school have had a steep learning curve about inclusion, we have mostly got on well - with one or two specific hiccups that I was not going to back down on. It opays to choose your battlegrounds carefully.

It helped me to have a good friend on the governors board that I could bounce opinions off.

It would be maybe worth your while standing for election as a parent governor (if you have the time and inclination)?

Early primary is a lot about making friends and getting along with the rest of the world as well as the ABC stuff. Make the most of invitations to play-dates - for your friendships as much as your ds.

And any queries, get a 10 minute chat with the teacher before it becomes a big issue - they are usually more than willing to sort out problems before they become problems, iykwim

I'm in the same boat with dd2 (ASD), we have been advised to put her into ms as academicly she is ahead for her age (not sure about this) but dd2 has no sense of danger, poor language skills and does not communicate with other children (but will play along side them and play with her sister).

We are also trying to get a statement before she starts in september.

I think dd2 will be fine for the first year as its mostly play but i worry that she will not keep up and by the time she's in year 2 will be behind .

I'm also worried sick that she wont be dry before september (having no luck with toilet training), i know the school could cope with it but i really want her to fit in with the others (being in a nappy is just another reason she may get picked on).

I have spoke to the head teacher and he seems really helpful but they have no expereance of ASD apart from my other dd who is totally different from dd2.

coppertop- its great to hear how well you ds is doing, i hope dd2 is the same , dd1 (AS) is doing well at school (so far) and she enjoys going.

DD has had two very successful years in mainstream. Now in GS (we're in France) she is struggling. She still mainly enjoys going but is starting to get left behind a bit socially and struggles a lot with the language (she's bilingual, but very behind in both so the pre-literacy stuff is starting to become more difficult). We are considering ASD unit for next year, but nothing decided yet as mainstream has been pretty good, so far, and they have made very few changes for her (she has 1-to-1 for only 9 hours a week). Next year if we can get a properly trained 1-to-1 for 18 hours a week (what is being proposed) I think she might continue to do well.

ds (asd) had his statement finalised within 1st half term of reception in mainstream school. we were very anxious but he adapted very well. it helped that we had a meeting with headmaster and SENCO prior to starting in reception. he had full time 1:1 support provided at first by 2 ladies swapping over at lunchtime, and from Easter, with just 1 lady who stayed with him all day(we insisted on this and it was no problem) throughout his years at primary. for all of the 7 years, he was included in school events eg assemblies, plays, concerts etc. i worried that he would never be invited to parties, partly due to the fact that when he started he was in pull ups. in his first term he was invited to a little girl's party but i didn't want him to go because i worried about ability of other parents to "cope/deal with" any problems. the wonderful party mum kindly shooed me away at the door, took my number and reassured me she would be ok and would phone if needed to. ds had a great time and it was an invaluable lesson for me to learn. ds kept up academically in infants but started to get left behind in juniors but during all this time, he was happy and settled. his curriculum was differentiated in year 6 and we absented him from SATS in his final year and he spent the time going on shopping trips, cooking and running messages with his lsa which we felt would be of far more use to him in building up his self help skills. in yr 6 they had a residential trip involving 2 nights away. his lsa stayed and most wonderful of all, every child in his class named ds as the person they wanted to share a room with. although he transferred to an asd school for the secondary stage of his education, the great benefit for him of being in mainstream primary, was that he developed good socialisation skills and looking at the bigger picture, we feel that perhaps his presence in the school helped the other children accept/learn that we are not all the same but are all valued.

We got DD1's proposed statement last week, recommending SS. All professionals had told me MS + support. We visited the SS today & it was wonderful. So we will go with it.

That's good news, Lou!

ryansdaughter, what a lovely positive post, your ds sounds wonderful

ds1 started reception at mainstream school in September. I was worried sick, he's an Aug born boy with language issues and possible HFA so I wondered if he'd cope. He is still the youngest in the school! He has been absolutely fine. He loves it, has settled really well, and is included in everything. He's really come on and seems so much more grown up and independent.

It helps that his school is tiny, and feels like a big family environment. It is also ridiculously well staffed so he receives lots of personal attention without requiring this formalised.

I'm glad I didn't defer him starting but would love the option of him having another year of reception though..

my ds has started school in sept HFA and speech delay and abnormal speech sounds was quite hard to understand

at pre school he would rarely interact with other children and had high level of support

well he started and he loves it and it seems to be just what he needed he has made lots of freinds we have lots of party and play date offers he interacts so well with others and they all seek him out to play

his speech has come on leaps he now uses speech as his peers do and his speech sounds have improved hugely he is like a different boy he has very limited help from staff he just seemed to go in and adapt as though its just what he really needed the structure etc he may have few wobbly days but nothing like at pre school and over all he doesnt stand out in the class

i was worried sick but he has improved and grown up hugely its like its just what he needed to progress his speech is amazing now and his speech sounds which were a concern when started is no longer a concern as he is understood by all now

he does have a statement and in all honesty at moment its not really needed but maybe as he gets older his differences may be more noticeable and level of support may need to go up but at moment his surrounded by children who adore him and who want to play with him all the time and a wonderful supportive school

before my ds started he would not talk to other children play with other children had really bad danger awareness , spacial awareness etc, had no idea how to play with out being shown did not play with cars etc at home or role play now he plays role play with cars at home doing different voices etc huge change

bubblagirl, so pleased that your ds is doing so well!!

oh and also forgot story time at pre school no hope he would wonder off could not understand questions being asked to him etc now he sits listens puts his hand up and joins in with all tasks

if tired or ill he does not do so much but over all he is doing so much better than i could have dreamed and his come along so quick with speech and sounds

thank you kettlechip its been such a relief

the changes in him at home can be temperamental its like he can cope all day at school and the anxiety and stress can come out at home but we allow him his special time to just unwind

also he wouldnt so so well without the melatonin allowing him to sleep that is what made huge difference the sleeping he can deal with things more

This is the first chance I have had to come back to this thread and the replies have bought tears to my eyes.

It is so comforting to read that mainstream can be a reality.

We have a transition meeting coming up so I am hoping that can provide us with a better understanding of how school life is going to work for ds.

Fingers crossed

OP we're a bit further in the statementing process than you, DS is 3.7 and should start in Jan 2011. He's got CP and autism and is currently non-verbal and in nappies but we still have no doubt that ms+support is what he needs.

We will probably have him 'start' for 1 day a week from Oct this year to transition over.