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School i over reacting ??? (AGAIN!!!)

33 replies

TheRealMrsF · 02/07/2005 11:00

Ok- boys brought home their school reports ...and yest agin there's the usual bland use of the computer 'templates/programmes'...which means the reports are dull...and in many places could be about ANY child...not MINE!!!

However at the end the Head gets to add his comments...and THAT is where the cotting remaks are inserted.

Now...befoer i go on about what he has said.....i will stress that 1) I am PARANOID
2) I suffer from anxiety/depression (so ?maybe? this is just me interpretting 'words' poorly)


"Leigh is great to have around school (though i confess i would not feel the same if i had to teach him all the time!) I hope he will settle well in his next venue and do the best he can for himself."*"Alex needs to concentrate on his work and on his behaviour. From my point of view,he distracts me too often in assembly with his shuffling around.He needs to work on focussing on the task in hand even if it is something as simple as sitting still.Alex,always try your hardest to do as your told whether you are school or at home."

WEll....... firtsly..... i feel gutted that he said that leigh's lovely on one hand....but that he'd hate to be with him all the time....MY INTERPRETATION!!!!

And then there's alex..."something as simple as sitting down"...well ...if i am right and he has ADHD/AS...then sitting still is NOT simple ....and as far as the HEAD saying he is "diracted" by Alex...well...maybe if they'd took on board my 'theory' about him having ADHD/AS etc...and my suggestion that they seat him at the end of the to a teacher etc...which they NEVER did unless he misbehaved (which in my mind is ridiculous ...if they were able to seat him there when 'naughty'...then why not as a 'reward' ..from the start...hence preventing the 'shuffling around'.

Then in alex's report his class teacher says many things which i believe back up my theory of his needs...which are...

"Alex enjoys PE although at times he does not actively involve himself in the lesson. He is slowly developing skills in ball handling and manipulation of equipment"

"Alex finds it hard to listen to others in a structured situation such as circle time, He often finds it difficult to recognose that rules are important and that they help us."

"Alex often finds it difficult to stay on task and listen to instructions"

"Alex finds it very difficult to sit and listen for any amount of time.Even when he does manage to remain quiet,his thoughts have wandered. He therefore is unable to answer questions posed although these are well within his grasp"


OP posts:
macwoozy · 02/07/2005 11:35

I would be upset if I read a report like this, it seems they are not prepared to listen to your concerns regarding AS/ADHD and yet reading his comments about their behaviour points exactly to the problems encountered by AS/ADHD children. He doesn't sound at all understanding, especially the bit about not being able to do something as simple as sitting still.

Socci · 02/07/2005 11:56

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happymerryberries · 02/07/2005 12:05

Socci, I understand that you hate computer reports. For what it is worth I'm not so keen on them myself. But having just 'done' 200 ish reports I don't know how I would have managed without the computer. I do try my best but you only have a limited amount to word space so you do end up using standard phrases. That said I do write my own

cupcakes · 02/07/2005 12:14

When I first saw this title I wondered if maybe you were over reacting - having had a conversation with a mum this week who doesn't understand why her son's report doesn't contain more praise. This boy is exhausting and I think the report was very diplomatic! (but as his mother she couldn't see it like this!)
However, yours does definitely seem a bit odd and would really annoy me. Especially the comment about 'shuffling' - it hardly seems worth mentioning to me but when you've even spoken to them concerning it!
I think it sounds like you've made the right decision moving them!

Beccles · 02/07/2005 12:22

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happymerryberries · 02/07/2005 12:24

Agree with your comments re the heads comments (IYSWIM) and I said so on the other thread on this in the education forum

Socci · 02/07/2005 12:25

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happymerryberries · 02/07/2005 12:30

The school is a secondary of 1300. I teach around about 200. At present we try not to give grades, since studies have shown that if children are given grades they do less well than if they are given comments. We are in the process of re-thinking our reports procedude, aiming more towards setting exch child specific targets and comments on how well they have met them and what to do next.

I do use set phrases, but have a wide range and tailor them for the child. So I'll only use those that do fit the child. But it would be impossible to write a unique report for each child. I am also very limited in space and what I am allowed to say.

This is not true btw of form tutor reposts when you have a. more time and b more space.

I have 750 characters to use for each child (and spaces count)

Socci · 02/07/2005 12:41

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TheRealMrsF · 02/07/2005 12:46 his IEP meeting leigh was positioned at Year 6+ for maths(he's yr3)....but cos of the way the report is done...the maths stuff does not mention this...just goes on about how he can work with numbers over 100o etc...i know its not about 'comparing'...but all the comments mean diddlysquat when they don't give you a 'baseline/expected level for age etc to go on.

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Socci · 02/07/2005 12:51

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happymerryberries · 02/07/2005 12:52

Always has been this size. Most of the local schools are about the same size tbh. There are one or two that are not but they are dire; the 'sink' schools.

To get the range of subjects that parents and kids want you have to have a fairly large size to make it practical.

the grade vs coments thing is qyuite intereting though. If you give kids grades they do worse, if you give grades and a comment the kids concentrate on the grade and ignore the comment. We give comments only, so in a book you might write

' You have made a good start on xxxxxx. Your presentaion is good and you have understood yyyyyy.

To improve, you must concentrate on learning the spelling of the key words for this topic'

The idea being that you tell the children whjat they are doing well and tell them how to improve.

our reports are the same. you have 250 characters to say how the child is now, 250 for what they have achieved and 250 on what they must do to imporve.

So I would write something like, 'XXXXX is a pleasent and lively student who takes an active part in class. His oral contributions are good. He sometimes finds it hard to concentrate in lessons and can lack focus.

XXXXXXXXX has studied z and y this year. He scored 45% in his end of year examination, this is below average for this class and below his predicted grade.

To imporve his understanding xxxx needs to ask for help when he is confused by a subject. He needs to focus more in class and avoid being distracted by others. Homework must be completed on time.'

coppertop · 02/07/2005 18:22

at the Head's comment about "I confess I would not feel the same if I had to teach him all the time!" What on earth was the point of that??? I also think that if Alex's "shuffling" was that much of a distraction then some kind of strategy should have been put in place to help, eg sitting him at the end of the row as you suggested, MrsF.

PeachyClair · 02/07/2005 18:56

I don't think the comments are appropriate, and had you not been leaving (yay to you!), I would have suggested a letter to the head, asking if they were aware of your son's potential needs and difficulties, if not why not, and if so why weren't they using their knowledge to build a more empowering school environment, instead of being so critical?

The worst comment i ever had was (verbally) 'your son (5) is sly and evil'.

He has Asperges.

We moved. Quickly!

coppertop · 02/07/2005 18:58

Sly and evil??!!! Who on earth thought that was an appropriate thing to say about a 5yr-old???

happymerryberries · 02/07/2005 18:59

That is F*ing outragous

PeachyClair · 02/07/2005 19:03

That was his class teacher, she was a B*=#h!
They clapped when he left too. I don't think they could cope with his being bright but different. All the other kids almost from sink playschool that OFSTED liked to visit a LOT! Sam went to Montessori.

New school though is A1. They REALLY care about Sam. Shame we had to move 55 miles to get it but hey, cheaper than private!!

TheRealMrsF · 02/07/2005 19:04

i know they have to write about more than MY CHILD..... but as a result of this Head's comments i feel showing leigh his report is a 'damaging' action.... if it had been worded as HMB exampled...then i could let him.

As an adult we are taught to use a Critism sandwich...that being PRAISE-CRITISISE-PRAISE.....why do people treat kids in a way that they'd never treat another adult???

OP posts:
monica2 · 02/07/2005 19:11

I agree Mrs F, I think a lot of the comments weren't constructive and others could have been stated with more sensitivity. The point that alarmed me the most was that there were no suggestion of strategies from the school but instead putting the responsibility on your ds to modify his behaviours.

StarMum101 · 02/07/2005 19:14

There does seem to be a lack of taking responsibility here, and of course that in itself is going to worsen your son's behaviour (self fulfilling prophecy and all that... if the head is constantly looking at your son, then he will feel uncomfortable and edgy and shift about anyway, and ofcourse her adrenaline will in turrn be up before the encouter because of what she expects to happen so she'll be more likely to get annoyed....)

coppertop · 02/07/2005 19:18

PeachyClair - That is truly awful. I'm so glad your ds is now in a better school and far away from that horrible woman.

I agree with monica's point about the way it's been left to Alex to deal with his own behaviour. He's only 6yrs old, isn't he?

TheRealMrsF · 02/07/2005 19:18

starmum...agree!!!! I HATED how he said that 'leigh could do the best he can for himself'

Yes WE are ALL responsible to some degree for our behaviour...but when you add Asperger's/ADHD etc into the is harder to 'self control'.....

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TheRealMrsF · 02/07/2005 19:21

hi last!!!

Yes...alex is 6...and he soon learnt that if he misbehaved...he would get sat away from the crowd.

and leigh suffered too in assemblies as kids actually deliberately dug elbows into him yesterday- cos they know he hates being cramped- he then fell backwards to avoid their poking etc...and leigh was the one who was punished and put on the 'disciplinery' steps.

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monica2 · 02/07/2005 19:24

That's awful MrsF!! so glad your boys are leaving the school soon.

coppertop · 02/07/2005 19:24

Helloooo MrsF!

Poor Leigh and Alex. Hopefully things will be much better for them at their new school. Even ds1's dragon of a Head managed to write nice things at the end of his report.

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