ASD girls forum??

[lisad123wantsherquoteinDM]

right lovely ladies, DH has started to build this forum now and hoping to be live by the end of the month
He has asked me to ask you what rooms we would like? Welcome and General ASD rooms are already there, what else? Do we mind having a for sale board? what about a services in your area? let me know
TIA

2shoes -it was/is accepted
lisa-my dd is fixated on mirrors too. It was cute when younger but seems more of a trait now she is 3.2 (i'd say she has moderate autism)

Dd1 had no speech problems, she started talking early at 10 months and now talks like an adult (not a 6 year old), dd1 was diagnosed at the age of 4, it took over 1.5 years to get the dx but we were told to expect a dx of AS from early on. Dd1's main problem/trait was her phobias, her phobia of females caused problems when starting her at nursery so in the end we took her to the GP. She has no behaviour problems (other then the normal 6 year old things) and she has a great imagination. She did line toys up as a baby and was obsessed with numbers from an early age (could count to 100 at the age of 2.5). Dd1 also liked mirrors (i used to park her in front of them in shops to keep her quite).

Dd2 is totally different than dd1, the fact she had no speech made it easier to diagnose but her other traits we didn't really pick up on until they were pointed out to us (now they are more clear), again dd2 has no behaviour problems if anything she is the dream child (so easy going). She has sensory issues, struggled with imaginitive play and could not follow commands. We managed to get dd2 diagnosed in under a year and we expected a dx of ASD from the start (so it was not a shock at all). Since being diagnosed dd2 has found her voice and will be re-assesed in April when we will be told where on the spectrum she is (we are expecting HFA).

In RL i only know parents of boys with ASD and their traits do apear to be different and a lot of them seem to struggle with behaviour problems and aggression. Dd1 struggles with fitting in within the groups of girls at school, she's not intersted in Hello Kitty and Bratz and would rather talk about Dinosaurs or how things are made and she's starting to notice that the others are not interested .

I think the forum is a great idea, i don't think anyone should feel left out as there are other forums for ASD children, ASD in girls can be different than in boys and we may face different problems as they get older.

Sorry for such a long post .

marne - that is funny, I also park DD in front of mirrors in shops while I look at things!

This is a great idea. Have been thinking of doing something along these lines for a while as I do feel girls are such a minority (probably due to the fact they get missed/undx). I would def. be interested in joining

I'd be interested. DD is 12 and has definite AS 'traits' but we are still undecided on whether to get a dx as she has one for another condition, where the traits maybe coming from. CAHMS said they will diagnose her if that's what we decide to do.

I'd be interested too.

dd1 is ASD - severe langugae delay/impairment, but has incredibly good people reading skills. her grasp of emotion/facial gesture is brilliant, and she also understands tone/intonation well.

she is an extraordinary mix, tbh, and is so very social - she seeks out social interaction constantly, and would far rather be playing with other people rather thaan on her own.

it is hard to come across advice for girls with ASD, and as other posters have mentioned, sometimes the issues are very different (although, obv, sometimes they are the same !)

I'd be interested too.

dd1 is ASD - severe langugae delay/impairment, but has incredibly good people reading skills. her grasp of emotion/facial gesture is brilliant, and she also understands tone/intonation well.

she is an extraordinary mix, tbh, and is so very social - she seeks out social interaction constantly, and would far rather be playing with other people rather thaan on her own.

it is hard to come across advice for girls with ASD, and as other posters have mentioned, sometimes the issues are very different (although, obv, sometimes they are the same !)

Does anybody know of an online test for children/teens? DD has done the AQ test by Simon Baron Cohen online but I think it's for adults. Thanks

coclepew do i know you by another name?

I havent come across the mirrors thing before, interesting.

Girls are massively under dx'd I think- the other group with the same issue is black people (again a 1/4 dx rate compared to white boys).

I really really dont have an issue with a separate forum and I hope it didnt come across like that, I would be very sad if it meant people contributed less to TTR etc- there is a need for both specialist advice and for the famillies of ASD girls to have a voice IYSWIM.

I do feel that never getting a dx for asd negatively affected my life; its very recently I am realising just how significant the impact has been and to look back at some of the tougher times and think yep, thats what caused that. Mum is the same though so its not her fault. For a while I was very angry with myself and found it hard- for every negative trait I could assign to asd there was a postive I felt was 'stolen' from me, such as my strong moral code became possibly black and white thinking; now maybe a year on from initial relaisation (no formal dx but high AQ and the local specialist has made it clear she agrees with me) I am realising that i don't have to hand over those good things because they are still positives,and also that a lot I have achieved- the boys, my marriage,my studies- are more of a plus IYSWIM becuase I have had to jump extra hurdles; I am also looking with a different eye at finding solutions..... I have a phone phobia that means my Uni lecturer (who only does phone consultations) is useless to me,so I have found people on MN and in RL (thanks) who can help me proof read essays (and extra offers always welcome- this one is on diagnosis LOL, has a section on females). Were I not studying what I am I might for a formal dx but knowing the only local diagnostician through that makes it too awkward fo rme(plus the whole how do you get an As person to phone the GP and ask for an app tto ask for a referral conundrum....) nonetheless I think for mmost people a dx is a bonus or at least the realisation,and I think too many girls go through life thinking they are abnormal/ wrong etc. I am lucky that I can pick out and start torethink things-motorplanning is what I am working on atm,a bigger issue formethan Ieverrelaised. Nobody toldmeothersdidnt have to talk themselves through how to do things such as put the bowl down before you try to open the door....its only now I see it in the ds's (including dyspraxic ds2) that I get it.

Sorry rant over

Peachy - you have done amazingly well, I would be thrilled if my DD turns out like you.

i know it has been a struggle for you though.

The mirrors thing is strange..my DD just stands there dancing in front of the mirror shouting things like "pretty head" "got two eyes" for hours.

DH is still not quite accepting that she will be diagnosed though.

( interestingly I also have a phone phobia and really dislike loud noises/bright lights etc - have always just been told I am "intolerant" by my family)

and I made myself work as a receptionist to cure my phone phobia but still have it at home!!

dd1 also obsessed by all things reflective.

cute when younger (and useful for her in a way, as she does seem to be practising sppech sounds/pronunciation positions etc, and really does examine tetth/tongue positioning at times) but at the same time, the older she gets (5 now, and big, so looks 7 ish)the more it marks her out when she won't talk to people in shops etc but will talk to her reflection

i too have noise sensitivity issues, a phone phobia (mildly amusing when i can't phone for a takeaway and get dh to do it, more serious if I need to be calling GP or sorting out something for dd1's statement)

I strongly suspect that if i pursued it I'd get a dx - strong family history (on both sides) and more close relatives with ASD than you canshake several sticks at... still, I get by, andmost energy that I have spare is spent fighting for dd1 now - there's not enough left over to sor tme out too!

Have you done the AQ test fanjo, its on the ARCwebsite and the Wired website.

Quite interesting I think,the ARC one is imobetter as if you register you get a wider set of tests- I get v high on AQ, borderline on spacial and just within average on spatial which describes me wonderfully I think!.

My Dh tooka ges to come to terms with a dx Fanjo,evenmotrefairly severe ds3 (who is obv males but in many ways atypical and could ahve got a pdd dx at one stage). Someone who had been supporting famillieslike ours formany years toldme that whilst she had evidence her experiecne has taught her that men very often take along time toadjust comapred to women,who often go in fighting from the start.

LOL at phone phobias- didnt relaise they were so common!

I was the best receptionist goinga few years ago,really great, but taking calls isn't too bad-making them OTOH- yuck.

I have and I only got about 18 but i scored highly on all the sensory stuff...

There is research out there suggesting that the triad should be made asdqaure with sensory as the fourth point; I would agree with that.

Strangely enough, I don't mind making calls at work, and I sometimes have to tell people things they shout at me for, i.e they will be charged for missing an appt. I don't mind doing this but hate making any kind of personal phone call....I am strange..!

Dd2 used to hate the phone ringing, i have a phobia of talking on the phone as does my brother (i tend to e-mail instead).

I wouldn't mind doing that ?aq? test for myself, truly believe I have some asd tendencies, everything is always black and white...I don't have a phone phobia, but I DO have a phobia of answer phones, as it's wrong to leave a message to a disembodied voice (don't ask, it just is!!), which creates massive problems with trying to sort out problems with trying to sort out stuff with NHS or LEA for DC's. There's never a rl person at the end of the phone, so I have to keep ringing till I get a person!

i scored 25 on the AQ test, i think i should get dh to do it as i am sure he is on the spectrum.

snap again.

I can make calls for work (used ot work in the Foreign Office, and had to arrange all kinds of diplomatic clearance for military aircraft and stuff) - no problem at all. I think it's down to the old "obeying rules" thing - if I have to do it for work then fair enough, but there's no "rule" about doing it for personal calls, iyswim?

and agree loudlass - answerphones are just wrong I never leave messages, and dh always gets wound up with me for it.

I'd be interested - I work with ASD children. Not sure if your forum is only for parents? DS does not have ASD (but I have phone & bright light 'intolerance'!)