Girls with Aspergers

[thornrose]

I wondered if there is anyone with a dd with Aspergers? I'm part of an online group but they are mainly in the US. I'm considering medication for my dd's anxiety and the US approach seems a little different! I'd love to compare notes with UK based mums.

I have a cousin with a 16yrold dd with as. She also has adhd, is on ritalin and goes to a special needs unit attached to a mainstream school (which she gets taxied to). Mum doesnt think she'll ever be able to live independently.
However I think this is an especially bad case, most as girls go undiagnosed, do fine at school, get by socially, just being seen as "a bit odd".

I have 2 dd's, Dd1 is almost 6 and has Aspergers, dd2 is almost 4 and has ASD/HFA.

We are having major problems with anxiety, we have just started giving dd1 Melitonian to sleep, last night she was very anxious and was awake by 4am, she has a party today and is anxious about getting lost .

Dd1 does well at school (no major problems) but i can see it getting harder for her as she grows up and notices she's different.

How old is your dd?

The anxiety is the main problem with dd1 , her dad (DH) is the same, always thinks the worst of things, gets worried about stupid things, its hard to calm her down once she gets anxious about something.

She's also a great talker (can talk for england) but tends to go on and on and not know when to stop.

Although dd2's Autism is more severe dd1 is deffently much harder work (maybe because dd1 has more understanding and great speech).

My DD1 has asd, and I belong to a suport group especially for girls, any chance your in Herts? or nearby? We meet reguarally but i found DD1 didnt like the other girls much (or wasnt fussed) as she is high functioning and also has major problems with worries and self harm, where as some of the girls were presenting with shouting and chair throwing, which i know is normal but dd1 found it all very scarcy.

My email is minx101 at hotmail dot com if you want more info, or justa chat

I wish we had something like that here Lisa, i don't know any parents of AS girls (in rl) only boys so its hard to find anyone to talk to. Dd1 would find the chair throwing and shouting a bit scary, she has a few boys at school on the spectrum, one gets too close to her (pats her head) and the other has behaviour problems and shouts. Dd is a bit wary of them. I think she would love to meet someone similar to her who likes to talk non-stop about dinosaurs etc..

We are in the SW (Dorset), although the services here are good we don't have any groups near by.

My DD is 12 and has possible AS, we have been offered the chance to get a formal DX at the end of th month. She suffers from anxiety and is seeing a therapist for it, it has been a great help.

could you maybe set one up yourself? We have about 30 girls in total across the whole county!
We are not considering meds for DD at the moment but currently awaiting a CAMHS referal.

Do you think it would be worth while asking my DH to make us a UK ASD girls forum online?? I will happily ask him and i know he loves anything like that.

Yup, I think he should

That would be a great idea .

Hi I haven't had a chance to log on until now and I'm so pleased to see so many responses. I would love a UK girls forum. My dd is 10 and is currently receiving CBT weekly which is helping a bit with her anxiety but it's really hard for her. I'm "scared" of meds because she was offered Prozac which seems so hard core for such a little girl. Her quality of life is being affecgted by her anxiety levels and that makes me so sad for her. She has drama therapy coming up and there will be another girl with Aspergers which will be interesting. Lisa - my daughter is very high functioning and certainly would be terrified of chair throwers. First day of school tomorrow and she is still awake making lots of sounds and tics bless her! Sorry I've waffled on. Is it possible our girls could exchange e-mail addresses/MSN or is that a bit of minefield?

God sorry for total lack of paragraphs!

DD1 is only 7 (in 2 days) and doesnt really get email, but maybe a letter in the post, think she would love that

be great to know about CBT, we have been referred to CAMHS but doubting they will offer us anything here.
We are having mass tears and upset today as school starts tomorrow again and she does not want to go, and also very upset as she has a wobberly tooth and thinks she will swallow it

Hi Lisa,
My DD1 has Aspergers she was diagnosed at 7 and will be 9 in a couple of months, she gets very anxious about lots of things as you can imagine. But thankfully she has Melatonin of a night time to help her sleep! which in her own words is 'great because it helps me switch my mind off and go to sleep'.

We belong to Apergers East Anglia and attned a weeky support group that they run for boys and girls, DD1 loves is, she liked interacting with the boys more so then the girls sometimes, is there a local support group near where you live?

Ive found CAMHS to be really helpful, I had some early intervention where I was helped to prepare to tell my dd about her diagnosis and then we had counselling together which was great.
We got a referral to a Neuro development team and been having CBT for about 5 months. The psychologist comes to school once a week and it is realy helpful.
I really pushed hard with CAMHS and had the OT make a referral which helped.
Clarity, I'm interested to know about Melatonin? My dd is in bed really freaking out about every little sound right now, her blind dropped a couple of inches of it's own accord and it's sent her into a frenzy. She really struggles at bedtime.
Her anxieties have recently manifested themselves into a fear of any kind of illness (she's really healthy!) from swine flu to diabetes and she needs constant reassurance that she is not ill.

Lisa it would be fun for my dd to send a letter to yours. I will e-mail you and maybe exchange addresses. I had a pen pal when I was younger and I loved it.
Have you seen the book, "What to do when you worry too much" It's based on CBT techniques and our psychologist approves of it!

Mumlife, it's great to hear something as simple as an adult with Aspergers who is married with children and is positive about life. I hope that doesn't sound patronising but life seems so hard for our children and it's sometimes hard not to worry about their future.

Will look u that book. We havent told DD yet, not quite sure when or how to tbh. Sleep isnt an issue for us although she wakes early and if she wakes it a PITA but mostly we do ok.
Alot of her anxieties are about not knowing, so not knowing someones name, what time we will get there, what will they ask, what will they be wearing, will me or DH be there, will they ask her to do something ect ect.

We have a support group here in Herts especially for girls, although im still new to it

Marne,my dd is 10, I am considering Melatonin I'm interested in people's experiences.

I do hope so mumslife.
Lisa I have to say telling my dd was the best thing I ever did. It took me a while to get there but once I'd talked through it with a counsellor I went for it.
She was upset at first but I had a book "Let me Tell you about my ASpergers" and we read it together and she identified with a lot of it. She came to terms fairly quickly and then felt a sense of relief that she understood her behaviours a bit more.
In the past I could never mention AS in front of her and it was awkward.
I was able to have her teacher do a circle time and explain it to her class mates which was really helpful. She now asks often "is this my Aspergers", bless!