Dd1 and I are not getting on, feeling guilty...

[Marne]

Dd1 has been a nightmare this week, i have spent most of the time shouting at her and i can't wait for her to go back to school . I am fed up of the continues talking, answering back, not being able to do anything on her own, not being able to shut up when we are eating (i could go on and on but i won't).

She has a birthday party to go to tomorrow and i am seriously thinking about not letting her go.

I find it hard to take into consideration that she has Aspergers, i just think that she should be able to understand what 'be quite' means and keep be able to shut up for 5 minutes.

I can't even drive the car with her in the back, she drives me nuts and i find my self shouting like a mad woman.

She answers me back all the time and always has to have the last word.

I feel like i have failed her , i can't handle her very well and she never listens too me. I find myself giving dd2 more attention as she is so well behaved (my little angel) and dd1 is such hard work (my little devil).

How can i handle dd1? How can i teach her to be quite when she eats (this really gets to me as i like to be able to eat without dd1 questioning me every 5 seconds)?

She's 6 (going on 15)in a few weeks time.

I think i need to set up some kind of reward system but i'm not sure what would work best.

Wot does she like doing that you could motivate her with? Apart from asking questions

With J, timers and a visual reward system (usually linked to iTunes/ use of electrical equipment) helps a bit. A timer for meal time, maybe? To show her when 'quiet time' is, maybe starting with 5 minutes and building up. For the car, giving something else to do might be a good idea

We use a timer (5 minute) but she has become obsessed with it.

She likes going on the computer, talking , reading and doing maths with mummy.

She has a magnadoodle in the car and books but still has to talk/ask questions at the same time.

She says she can't stop talking as there is so much information in her brain trying to get out .

Just a thought:
Get her a small handheld dictophone. She can talk to it to her hearts content. It's a way of getting all that info out of her head & good fun to play and she can interact with it
(playback, re-record, note-take etc)
You'll still hear her talking but at least it won't all be directed at you!