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Moving house with Aspergers

8 replies

Flame · 27/12/2009 11:49

It is a way off, but I am trying to get my head round it now iyswim.

We will need to move house by next Sept (won't all fit in here). I have already mentioned it to DD1 and she keeps asking if we really have to move, and welling up

How do I make it easier for her? I started talking about it very early in the hopes of her building up to the idea gradually, but instead I seem to have given her 9 months to freak out .

I'm thinking take photos when we find somewhere so she can have something to look at to get her head round, obv take her to see the place in person before we move in so she can start to get an idea of bedrooms etc. Is there anything I can do in the meantime though to make it seem less daunting.

I have assured her that it is JUST home that is changing (several friends have moved house AND school).

OP posts:
5inthesleighbed · 27/12/2009 11:54

I think your ideas of taking her there and taking pictures sound like really good ideas. Social stories work well as well. What if she helps pick out the stuff to decorate her bedroom?

onlyjoking9329 · 27/12/2009 11:56

its a hard balance between giving them enough processing time and not too much time for them to worry/invent worries.
my three have had huge changes over the last few years i remember elliot having to change schools and his dad being really ill too, none of those things upset him too much but....................... the wrong sized toothpaste caused tears and tantrums for all 3
i think like you say if you can tell her all the things that are staying the same and big up the things that she will like about new house, good luck

Flame · 27/12/2009 12:00

oh god the toothpaste - I'll never forget aquafresh taking over milkteeth and changing the colour from pink to white! why is toothpaste so important?!!?

I'll get looking for social stories.

I said that I don't know how many bedrooms we'll have, and she got to choose if she had a room to herself or shared with DD2 - she wants DD2 (thankfully - the thought of her with DS is terrifying )

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 27/12/2009 12:02

Different POV, not arguing with anyone. We moved when mine was 7.
When you actually come to move, try and keep her room as much the same as possible to begin with, Don't buy new furnishings etc to make a shiny new place. When you do move, let her have her room as her nest, a safety space. With all her known and familiar stuff in it. If she used DVDs, let her do that as she comes to terms with a new place, so she can switch off and process things in her own time. If she wants to change things, let her set the pace,
Watch out for meltdowns about new paint and cleaning smells, and new noises.
Don't get all over-excited in her hearing if you can manage that and be patient even if you need a lot of gin to cope!
It takes a while and then some, but now I have a 15 year old who wants to buy our house when we die so because he loves it and never wants to move.

onlyjoking9329 · 27/12/2009 12:03

i remember standing in tescos undoing toothpaste to check it was an accepted colour!

Goblinchild · 27/12/2009 12:03

Oh yes, toothpaste.
The move from strawberry to mint, then to adult paste. Aaarrrggg!

cornysxmasmuffmusic · 27/12/2009 12:38

do you know anyone who has moved recently? We have been putting the idea of moving to ds1 for a while and he has always been very resistant. One of our friends moved to a bigger house and he loved their new big garden etc and actually said that the idea of moving wasn't so bad now. Not that he is willing to move mind you, just that the idea isn't so bad.

Marne · 27/12/2009 17:55

We will be facing the same problem with dd1 (AS) and DD2 (ASD) next year, we have to move to a bigger house, at the moment dd1 is excited about moving, i just hope we find a house near by so she can stay at her school, moving schools would upset her more than moving house.

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