confrontation

[sarah876]

My DS is 13 and has recently been diagnosed with Asperger's. My question is , is it normal for him to be so confrontational. I mean if you want a debate with someone....he's your man! there's no seeing reason with him. I've had to take my son to my Mums tonight to give my younger son a break. Last night a row kicked off with my DS irritating my younger son by continuously saying the same thing over and over again , knowing it was upsetting him and being relentless with it.Time I intercepted my younger son had lost the plot and DS was still upsetting him even with me there. I felt like I was banging my head against a brick wall. He is so tall and beginning to over take me and I'm 5ft 10! How can I gain control of the situation or at least get him to see what he is doing....I just can;t seem to get through. I do sometimes worry what he will be like when he is older. He just likes to torment and doesn't know when to stop....any advice?

My ds1 does it- not allkds with AS do, but it a way that the empathy manifests in some children I think.

This sort of thing can be ahrd to manage IME, but its best nadled at a separate time to the incident as I find that these things happen when ds1 is under stress.

Then if you see it happening again get ine early and separate them with distance- one in each room.

Problem is they share a room. DS thinks its funny to do this and then when he has upset everyone he does not see the problem and that it is all our faults cause we deserve it. Yes I agree Ds can be worse when he is under some kind of stress but on this occasion and many more like them he creates the stress. I live in an housing association home...do you think they will consider giving me another place so that my son can have his own room ?

I think the HA might well consider a 2 bedroom place if you describe what you tell us here and his condition. Does any form of penalty work - eg computer off for a day when he is annoying?

Not really ...in fact he is worse because he is not on the computer,,,,,god its hard knowing what to do.

Dd1 (6) loves confrontation, he has to have the last word and will argue for hours. We are trying to get a 3 bed house as i can see this being a problem now dd2 (also ASD) is now getting more verbal and telling her sister to shut up.

This week has been a nightmare as she seems to be taking everything out on me (not dh). Dd1 also looks for stressful situations and makes up problems so she can have a moan.

I'm having problems with DS1 (NT) having to share a room with DS2 (asd) because DS2 is forever 'rearranging' DS1's toys, which annoys DS1 beyond belief (he's moved my X/Y/Z again, why can't he leave my stuff alone',cue fighting and screaming, and general aarrgghh), My HA don't give a monkeys, two boys 18 months apart CAN share a room (just not without me going insane...). Thank god I have a separate room for DD or I might have to bury the kids under the patio...DS2 also sits and pokes DS1 while DS1 is trying to play computer games/do homework etc. The biggest annoyance is when DS2 likes to scribble over DS1's homework when he's just finished it. Last time DS2 did that, DS1 tore up DS2's favourite book that he looked at EVERY day....AAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!

Its nice to know I'm not the only one. I guess I've got used to it over the years....just sometimes it gets a little to much because you get sick and tired of your own voice. Little things like getting DS to get dressed in the morning has only taken me seven years of nagging...he now gets him self dressed with just one reminder now! like telling him just now to SSHHHHH as he is talking very loudly and everyone is trying to sleep....no doubt I will have to say another dozen times yet to be quiet.I'm dreading when he is older i have no idea how to deal with the way he behaves sometimes especially as he is now bigger than me...whats he gonna be like in five years time.Deal with it when it happens i spose!

DS1 does it. He's been doing it all morning, in fact. Thankfully, DS2 is good at blocking him out and going to his very happy place.

My boys share a bedroom, but we own our house, so if we want another bedroom, it's up to us to do something about it.