Should i just put DS back in nappies? Sorry long

[MumofOscar]

Ds (5) has moderate learning difficulties. He started walking at 3 and is yet to start talking although he does sign quite well. We started potty training at 3 when he started walking. 2 years down the line we're still not there. He can manage a poo in the potty occasionally if i leave him bare bum and sometimes a wee also although he has to do it "standing up like Daddy". Mostly though he just wees or poos whever he is. I'm starting to think there might be a problem with muscle conrol and knowing when he needs to go as when he does use the potty it is literally as its coming out that he sits on potty. I've been debating putting him back in nappies as its just stressing me and him out now. Anybody got any experience of this?

Oh I do know the feeling, but fwiw I think you should keep the nappies off. I know with my DS (autistic) that it only clicks just when I think I really can't keep on trying any longer. For instance, for a year now I have been trying to show him that he can wipe himself without me being there to oversee it. Again and again I showed him, sometimes up to 9 times a day (he poos a lot!). This last week he has got it, albeit that he wipes extremely badly and then legs it out of the loo without trousers. So now I need to work on the putting trousers back on, flushing loo, washing hands. It could take a year again, but if I give up and do it for him it will never happen. I think us mums need patience that we never thought we had! I don't know if that helps (probably not) but I'd say you are making progress if he is using the potty. Why not put one of those toilet seats on loo, one less job for to do ie cleaning out the potty? The only other tip I have is to predict his likely times to go, then put him firmly on the loo (with books and toys) for an hour around that time, so that eventually he does it just be accident. Then give him massive rewards (I used sweets/chocs) when something goes on loo. This way, the whole toilet experience becomes positive and fun, and the toilet becomes a "destination of choice " for your DS. My boy now spends a large part of his day sitting on the loo, so fond has he become of it! Good luck!

dd has cp and tbh I found that it helped to wait untill she was older.
she is now 100% dry but it didn't happen untill she was about 10
if it is stressing you out, stop and try agin in the summer. a break might give you both the push you need.

I'm with 2shoes here. If he wees or poos anywhere, then he's not potty trained. If it's stressing you out, then it's likely he'll pick up on that.

My ds was almost 7 when he suddenly decided to go to the toilet for wees,(ASD,SLD) still in nappies for poos and nightime, tbh we just got to the point of relaxing and saying if he was ever going to do it it would be on his terms (as are most things)
Good luck

Sorry didn't get back here yesterday - didn't mean to post and run. Thanks for all replies.
I thin thats my big concern that it'll make it harder to go back but DS tends to only do things on his terms as it is so if he doesn't want to use the potty he won't use the potty iyswim.
ouryve your right, he's not potty trained and i need to stop thinking that he is - that'd prob be a help!
I htink its looking likely that we'll go back to nappies (well compromise with pull-ups anyway). just take some of the stress of for a little while then try again.
Thanks for the tips sickof, we will try them just maybe not now.