So angry with DS's school - should I complain to the LEA?

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DS (ASd) started reception in September - I chose the school very carefully and it has great ofsted reports and is supposedly good with SEN.

The teaching is wonderful and he has made lots of friends but I am taking him out at the end of term (tomorrow) and moving him to a different school.

Firstly he wasn't offered a place in the nativity play - reasons given were that he won't sit still at story time and so couldn't be trusted with this. I won't even get into reasons why he shouldn't be expected to sit still, exspecially at his age.

I'm also sick of snide comments from staff - they costantly ask me how the toilet training is going and how lovely it would be if he was dry in the day - as if I didn't know that.

Then today in front of other parents his teacher said ' oh he should really be wearing gloves and a hat in this cold' with a proper frown. He REFUSES to wear them - he can't stand them.

I had really hoped for more understanding but they just keep making me feel like an awful parent.

What would you do? Just thank god only one more day to go.

It is really difficult. Ive been there - no sensitivity to our childs difficulties or needs and no matter how hard you try to explain your childs difficulties you just hit a brick wall, they had no intention to change anything and the only thing that had to change was our DS. He now has an educational statement and attends a school that specialised in specific learning difficulties (CRESTED)- much much much better!!!

There is a complaints process -, u have to complain to the school and the governors first and you go round and round in circles until they hope you just give up. But unless you challenge poor practice it will stay and will continue to impact on your child or the next SEN child that comes along. Copy in everyone to your letters, ie parent partnership, IPSEA, LEA director of education, principle educational psychologist, MPs, ofsted. We did get an apology from the LEA and the School.

I found the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) excellent, telephone, email access - FREE. After you have gone through the process they suggest and if the school are still resisitant to make adjustments for your child - the EHRC can then investigate - they have an inforcement officer. It is best to keep a diary and a file for your child records, letters etc.

The school are DS went to were completely insentitive to his educational and emotional needs, his self esteem plummeted. They used the similiar techniques as your school. I did worry about the impact of changing schools and that the next school could be exactly the same as the one we left. The new school is a CRESTED school and I can not praise it enough.

Does your child have an IEP? has he seen the educational psychologist? Does he need more support in class to enable him to fully participate in everyday school activities ie nativity play (ur DS was a tree in most of his school plays!) Have they given you a copy of the school disability and equality scheme (DES) policy - all schools must have one and ask what qualifications they have to support your childs specific learning needs.

Good luck! you can make a difference

"Then today in front of other parents his teacher said ' oh he should really be wearing gloves and a hat in this cold' with a proper frown. He REFUSES to wear them - he can't stand them."

Cultivate a smug and superior attitude to the ignorant and point out that many children on the spectrum have a 'broken thermostat' and don't react in the same way as an NT child.
Then wait for them to look confused or ask what NT means.
I'm really sorry to tell you that this is only the beginning of a long journey with other peoples' judginess and opinions getting your back up. develop a thick skin, put flameproof knickers on your to acquire list and learn everything you can about ASDs and use it as an explanation/weapon/key to getting what he needs.
It used to piss me off too, and I was an experienced teacher, parent and whatever.
It's entirely your choice, but if he has friends and the level of misunderstanding from the staff is as you have portrayed, I'd be wary that somewhere else could be much worse.
The teachers need a slap in the form of a formal letter listing your complaints and pointing out that you expect the highest of professional behaviour from them. Including sensitive opinions and information to be part of a private meeting.