Is it a step back?

[laumiere]

DS1 (3.5) was Dxed with CP about a year ago and we just got back from the communication clinc today with an additional diagnosis of autism, and we're gutted. not because of the dx, more that it feels like DS is collecting more and more labels and each one is making it harder for other people to see him as a little boy in his own right.

We're in the middle of statementing now and torn between 2 schools (we live in Lewisham). Perrymount school is additionally resourced, has a physio room and change rooms for kids with continence problems (DS still uses nappies), excellent PECs support (which he uses) and is on one level and has other kids with CP and ASD (around 2 per class) but is not so good academically and has some issues with teaching quality. St. Saviours is the local Catholic school, is not one level but has lifts etc (DS can walk but stairs are hard), a really lovely feel, is integrated into the community and meets our spiritual needs. It's also outstanding in terms of supporting boys with communication problems.

We're so confused today, what would you do?

I would go for teaching quality every time. Too often imho the word special needs gets linked with poor quality, but well-meaning teachers who don't have very high expectations of our kids (my DS is autistic). But I must admit I only know about the autism side, not the CP -what do your instincts tell you?

IF you feel that the second school can meet your DS's additional needs then I would go for that one. My DS with CP is in a school with a unit with a mix of children with CP and ASD and it is great. BUT they do have very good teaching also and DS is integrated into the mainstream for some numeracy and literacy and his targets are average or above for the end of the reception year. For me this was very important as DS has no real cognitive impairments.

However we went for this over any other school because the one we wanted where we had connections and also met our family's ethos (which is important) could not meet DS's additional needs. They could not really have adapted and seen the bright little boy he is and he would have been labelled wrongly or they would have focussed on his disabilities only instead of seeing his abilities as well like his current school does.

It's a tricky choice, I'm very pleased with where we have ended up even though DS has only been there for a term, however it's only an infant school and I'm already worried about where he will go next!

Thanks both, for us the additional autism dx is pretty meaningless as we've just accepted DS as is but for the school it's likely to mean using and building on PECs, adapting the curriculum for DS to participate and helping DS to overcome behaviours that may inhibit his learning (wanting to do his own thing, not liking to join in etc). He's already really come on with his communication. The second school is pretty under-resourced by comparison but had a better atmosphere. We're just not sure it can meet his needs, we've got a meeting with the head in Jan to discuss further.

Hi Laumiere
My DS2 has CP & asd, like your ds he had the CP dx early on & the ASD dx followed.
He is 6 now & in MS with statement 1 to1 support.
SN or NT i would always go for the school with the most welcoming nurturing environment, if going for ms inclusion only works if the schools attitude toward sn is positive.
If both have the same ethos & attitude towards your son then the school with the better academic record would be my first choice BUT some of the best academic schools are not always the best for teaching a child with sn.
As you say this new dx doesn't change your ds but be kind to yourself, i know i suprised myself at just how hard i found this additional label particularly a few weeks post dx.
Now it is only a positive thing.. the school get additional support they can call upon & the county inclusive asd service follow him through all transitions until school leaving age, something that is not available with a CP dx alone.
Take care x

Hi again anon! We do seem to follow each other about. I'm surprised at how badly I'm taking it TBH.

Hi
Youve obviously been round both schools. Trust your instincts, you speak so warmly about the second school, it sounds the one you favour. On a practical note see if the schools will allow you to speak to other parents of SN children attending the schools.
Good Luck

I reacted far more to ds2's asd dx than i did the CP dx.
DS2'S CP is mild, but psychologically i found a physical disability easier to get my head around than a developmental disability such as ASD.
As you say, it doesn't change the child & ds2 is still the same beautiful boy but I guess the future felt more uncertain.

Have you been offered any support for you?

Hi, just thought I'd mention that you can ask for dual schooling if that would suit your ds. Our dd2 goes to sn school 3 days, is on their register, then attends our local village primary for the other 2 as a guest. It has taken some work from all concerned but has been very successful from her point of view.

At some point she will go to sn full time.

As Barnspotsmum and Anonandlikeit say, you need to be able to picture your ds in the school - not just at his current age but try to project a few years - where will he fit in best?

melted They do that here, but won't until he's been at the SS at least a year and we really want him settled into MS as quickly as possible.