Is it possible to work when you have a disabled child? Is it too stressful?

[meltedmarsbars]

I don't know how many of you do work (properly paid outside the home, that is )
I don't work atm, but there is a part-time coordinators job coming up here that my sw told me about, linking parents of children with disabilities to council and other organsiations.

Is trying to work and do hospital/therapy appointments/sickness/childcare just too much?

Does it make you very stressed?

Does it make your dp very stressed?

Do you end up eating takeaway? Does the ironing ever get done?

Is it worth it? I don't know whether to apply or not. Help me decide!

Riven - what about the other way round? Would people be so if it were the male partner calling the female?

My OH calls me from home, every time he goes to the shop, if he takes the kids anywhere etc.

He is not useless or being feeble. He has to do it sometimes. Its not a big deal. His memory is not brilliant and he can only really do one thing at a time.

He is a fantastic father as I am sure you are a fantastic mother.

We are not fricking superheros just cos we have/had children with disabilities.

Hi Meltedmarsbars

I work a couple of days a week. I can totally switch off from family life when at work so I feel mentally it is good for me. Although I have to admit I am knackered when I get home and pretty much useless to DD on those two evenings

I think like others have mentioned it really depends on how flexible employer is when you need time off and also there is childcare during school holidays to consider.

It is nice to also have the extra income and although I moan about my job deep down I realize I am extremely fortunate to be in a position to work.

DS1 can be very challenging, so if I were to work outside the home, I'd need very flexible hours and an understanding employer. Some mornings it's a challenge to get him out of the house with clothes on. Then there's the days I literally have to carry him out of school and childcare would be impossible to find and afford for both him and DS2, who may be a lot more easy going but still needs a lot of close attention paid to him. Like other people, we have months where we seem to have one appointment after another and then at this time of year, one kid or the other is poorly almost every other week. DS1 has asthma and colds hit him really hard.

Amazingly, I do manage to get a nutritious meal on the table for everyone, every night, even if M&S has done half the cooking (and DS2 tends to have oven chips or waffles with everything, anyhow) but I only just have the energy to keep the house presentable and the tumble dryer does most of my ironing for me.

i have been really lucky. for 11 years i have worked part time for the same place (or on 6 month full time contracts on loan). if they offer me a 6 mo contract, they pay for a nanny... i took extended mat leave when dd2 was born, and my hours did drop for a while, but i have been lucky enough to be able to decide how much i've been able to do...

originally the deal was 'childcare' but i had to appeal for the 'childcare' to be a full time nanny as i needed her to be able to take dd2 to normal therapy appointments if i was unable to. i always managed to rearrange for hosp/ paeds etc.

i left in the summer as we moved o'seas, and i now have a part time/ school hours, week on/ week off job...

some days i can't believe how lucky i am, but some days i cast my eyes round the bommb site that is my house and wonder if sahm would be more sensible.

i'm currently studying part time so that i have another string to my bow that might open up more opportunities down the line.

we're v lucky though - dd2 is only a pt wc user, and although has a few foibles, we have managed v well since she started school. the after-school club applied for 1-1 funding and got it, so we have never had any refusals...

it is interesting though - essentially i was only able to dictate my own hours through having established myself prior to having a child with a disability. i know full well that none of it would have been possible i had been random joe off the street... definitely the luck of the draw...