Bullying (the NT one)

[anonandlikeit]

DS1 is having a really tough time at school.
I don't think it is directly anything to do with ds2's disabilities & piss taking BUT i do think ds1 is ultra sensitive & maybe its partly our fault.

We have never ever tolerated any form of name calling at home, its a big NO NO in our house. We are not a shouty house at all & i'm wondering if this has left ds1 unable to cope with a bit of playground name calling.

There is one boy who is def having a go at him big time, including violence & the school are dealing with it.
But he seems more troubled by a bit of low level name calling from his "mates", aparently they all call each other names in a jokey way but ds2 just takes it so to heart & it reduces him to tears which means more name calling.

His confidence is just so low at the moment, I just want my happy little boy back & I don't knwo what to do to help him.

I know this isn't SN but I don't post much anywhere else.
Thanks for listening x

Bumping for you!

Poor kid! He needs reassurance, but I don't know what to do about the name-calling problem either.
I am also having it at home where dd1 (who has just started high school) name-calls ds constantly, (both at nt) which reduces him to tears/drives him to violence. I'm struggling to get her to realise that its not funny or kind.

Grrr, kids!

Thanks Meltedmarsbars. Its just so horrible to see him so [SAD].
I am trying not to make a big thing of the name calling as he has a tendancy to make a drama out of these things & in reality I think it is just the odd comment from 1 or 2 kids, but to him it feels like everybody is picking on him.
He is usually so confident, bright & funny, this just seems to really of knocked his confidence.

I think he is so used to not retaliating with ds2, that he just doesn't know how to react to it.
The flip side of him being a caring little boy (he's 9) is that he is also sensitive.

Poor kid, been an issue today about NT ds2 and I think it does happen.

For ds2 the big issue is kids who daren't start on DS1,they go at ds2 instead. Plus kids who think they'vebeen ds1'svictim and decide topucish indirectly.

he'salso sensitive though,and IMO a lot of it is becuase hereacts We are a bit of a shouty household sometimes(well, i'm nt but boys are) yet ds2 isn't as tough as the others.

the best thing IMO is totackle it head on, I dn't bother going in (there's aqueue 15deepevery day- should I be owrrying I don't know what that'sfor PMSL) I just e-mail to tell them what's going on, they always react well when they ar told and most schoolsdo (NOT all).

Whatever happens though I think the most important part is to be seen by the child to be doing something- that tells the child that you beleive them and is empowering for them.

thanks peachy, the school have been very supportive so far.
Its a new school (since Sept), so a different one from ds2, actually i'm not sure if the teachers know about ds2, although some of the kids from his previous school do.
I'm hoping its just settling in trouble, I want him to toughen up a bit without losing any of himself IYKWIM.
I hope your ds2 has a better day tomorrow.

School dealtwith it wellanon, DS2 was placed in a different class from all his friends when he went up to Juniors (malevolent cow of a SENCO did the palcings, and ds2 suffered for us dariong to question her about the hoys) so its been trough as he was palced with the class bully, but schoolaregood and he's happy again.

Hope you get it sorted

oh your poor ds.
we hasd this for 2 years in secondry, in the end I pulled ds out one day. they knew his soft spot(dd) and the tossers knew it.
go straight to the top, see the head and say that if they don't deal with it, you will pull him out of school and go further.(I wish I had done that at the begining)

Anon, if your nt dc's teacher does not know about your other kid, please let them know - as 2shoes says - this sort of backround information can ensure the teachers can target extra help in class to avoid homework etc. I've always been totally clear that our house is not an easy place to do homework, and teachers have always been very understanding. The teachers will also be on the lookout for any name-calling and bullying etc.

There is every reason to pull strings to get extra help for your ds - he needs all the help he can get, because he has more on his plate than the average kid in the playground.

Thanks again, I will go in & make them aware of ds2, apart form anything else we ahve periods when he can be very noisy all night... for the most part ds1 sleeps through it but i'm sure it must disturb him.
He also worries about him alot, not every 9 yr old has theses worries.

I think because its normal for us I forget how much tougher for him it is on a daily basis, thank you ladies!