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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

do you struggle to find money for all the sn stuff?

37 replies

2shoes · 04/12/2009 09:16

recent thread made me wonder how much people struggle to find the money needed for all the extra stuff we need.
I know we do, finding money for holidays(more expensive as cannot camp, go abroad or caravan) is just one example.
so how do you do it?

OP posts:

Pixel · 04/12/2009 20:06

We had to buy a bigger car because ds's buggy wouldn't fit in the boot of our old one, so that's more on tax and insurance for a start. Ds does break a lot of stuff, this week it was the door off a cupboard, not by being deliberately destructive but because he just had to know how far back the hinge would bend! We had to take the door off his bedroom because he was slamming it repeatedly back against the wall and knocking lumps out of the plaster. I'm forever shampooing carpets due to poo accidents etc. It's a constant worry as we get inspected by the letting agents every 3 months and I don't want the house to look like we are trashing it. All ds's clothes are ruined too as he chews up the collars and I have to buy new pants all the time as the old ones are past saving. He takes all the dvds and videos out of their boxes and lays them out on the floor so they get trodden on and broken or scratched. He has a thing about light switches and has to turn every light on. If he gets up in the night or before us in the morning we find every light blazing away and I spend most of the day, (when he is home) following him around turning lights off again. The same with the tv, I'm always switching it off when he leaves the room as he isn't watching it, just has to have it on. With that, and all the washing I have to do, I reckon he doubles our electricity bill.

I spend a lot more on food because ds is so set on what he will eat that even if I've done the rest of us a cheap, healthy dinner from veg off our allotment, I've still got to buy and cook something that he will eat.

Oh and we spend a lot on computer chairs! Ds bounces constantly so they always fall apart before too long. He's snapped the backs off a couple of them, not quite sure how .

5inthesleighbed · 04/12/2009 21:42

Peachy, ds2 is a D width, and all the shoe shops I know start at an E. He has to have velcro shoes, as for obvious reasons can't do laces and can be made extra tight. Trainers are a nightmare and it can take me up to a week to get him the right shoes . His first pair of shoes were girls, as the boys ones were too wide.

Otter, that system sounds excellent. Must have been a very trusting village!

5inthesleighbed · 04/12/2009 21:43

Oh, and 2shoes, if you start a thread on Sitestuff, I'm happy to continue on over there

Original poster

2shoes · 04/12/2009 21:48

i will do
but can't think how to word it

OP posts:

ouryve · 04/12/2009 23:50

We don't struggle (low cost of living up here so we can manage without my salary and DH has fairly decent, even if not massive salary) but then we put anything we don't need right now into savings for what ifs and don't do holidays. Holidays are just too stressful to even contemplate.

What we do struggle with is time and ability to do stuff. We need to replace the heating and would need to replace our ageing rotten kitchen to accommodate the new boiler. The thought of getting all that done with these kids makes my stomach turn. The boys' bedroom still needs stripping and re-plastering since DS1 destroyed the wallpaper. Most of the back of the house needs new damp coursing. We actually have the money put to one side for these things, but the practicality of getting them done with 2 Marty Meddlers in the house is a logistical nightmare.

VirginPeachyMotherOfSpod · 05/12/2009 17:53

5in, yep shops ehre do up to a G so E-G I guess; I therefore is not achievabl;e 9even online afaics). Sister was a C fir and they ahd to always use Jones The Bootmakers and they had one shooe, in black or marron, which they alternated. She grew out of iyt though and now has hundreds of pairs- obvious why LOL.

We are trying to get him to wear slippers but no, he won't have it.So it's two pairs of socks for warmth atm.

daisy5678 · 05/12/2009 19:28

I struggle. As a single parent, it was probably madness to buy a house in the peak of the housing boom on a 125% mortgage but it was getting stupid, moving house every couple of years cos landlords were selling up and then losing deposits due to J-related damage. Now I just have a very expensive house with damage!

J's expenses come from not being able to access mainstream after-school care, so have to spend about £100 per week when it costs everyone else half that. Then there's the hideously expensive food that comes from his restricted diet and refusal to change brands (can spot cheaper alternatives a mile off, even with raisins!). Then there's the destruction of often everything he can get his hands on when in meltdown, including computer/ TV/ Wii equipment/ lights/ mirrors. I've started a policy of not replacing his stuff or at least not till a birthday or Christmas because it was becoming ridiculous. Then there's the cost of leisure stuff in bad weather. His hyperactive little body can't be kept in all day so if it's too cold/ wet, we have to go to a playcentre or somewhere he can run about.

He also loses everything so we have to buy uniform, like Peachy, what seems like every other week. Even trainers for PE seem to disappear . Do you know what, I think a lot of people struggle but most people won't say they are.

5inthesleighbed · 05/12/2009 20:29

GMS, your mortgage isn't with NR is it? . Worked for them, and they were uite quick at handing out those 125% ones.

Peachy, I would love to be able to pay £60+ for a proper fitted pair for him every month.

daisy5678 · 05/12/2009 20:47

5inthesleighbed yeah, it is! Not sure what I'll do when the (extortionate) fixed rate deal ends, though I hope someone will take me on as A) I've kept up with the repayments religiously and B) my stepped fixed rate is currently up to 7% and any other deal would be cheaper! Seemed so cheap at the time!

(Not asking for donations, btw! My choice to buy a house and my mistake to get stooopid mortgage.)

5inthesleighbed · 05/12/2009 20:50

Yeah, but at the time it was probably quite a reasonable rate. And like you've said, it was a better option that renting for a few months/years and having to up sticks.

VirginPeachyMotherOfSpod · 05/12/2009 22:11

GMS I totally understand why you did it, we ahve alovely landlady and we're just starting our 5th year here, but I dread when she wants it back.ATM its not even a vague possibility but one day I hope, even if its just a two bed for when the ones that do leave have done so.

I think we are lucky really, in that we don't owe a penny to anyone (OK,£8.49 a month for the phone LOL) but if wedid,we'd have gone under years ago. It was hideous fortune that caused us to sell our home years ago, but good things that have mainly come of it.

MarioChristmas · 06/12/2009 20:20

givememoresleep - Im like you with regards to food. At the moment he wont eat anything but Innocent Smoothies and Organix Ricecakes

Replacing stuff is our biggest cost. I have to replace his favourite book nearly every other week as he just destroys it but cant live without it. I have had to rush out today and buy a new baby tad because he wont sleep without it but he put it in the bath in a rage and so it wont work.

Oh and two baths a day and all the extra washing is crap on our elec bills.

But he is worth it

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