Help - Not wanting to say the wrong thing...

[lizzieb75]

My BF has just had confirmed that she is carrying a downs syndrome baby. I really dont want to sound patronising, or to say the wrong thing, so wanted some advice. I will only get this chance F2F once, so really don't want to muck it up.

FWIW, if it were me, I'd let it come up naturally, and then just let your friend know you're there if she wants to talk. Let her lead this, just be an ear for her, and go from there. My own opinion, avoid "downs syndrome baby". I prefer "baby with downs syndrome" because you put the person first, not the disability. Like me, I'm a person with a visual impairment, rather than a visually impaired person Again, just my opinion.

I've been blessed to know a number of people with Down's syndrome, and regard them as good friends and valued members of society. Different needs and abilities sometimes, yes. But people to be respected and loved, same as everyone else.

I'd treat the whole thing exactly as you would for any other baby wherever you possibly can. Be there, listen, be pleased when she's pleased, be caring when she's feeling uncertain. Know where to point her to the right info for the future. How is she feeling about it herself? It's good to have people just ask, sometimes - without them feeling like they need to judge what's then said.
People so look forward to everyone saying "congratulations!". We still can for any baby, I think.

Agree with everything that's been said. the baby should still be celebrated, and cherished. I too think it's best to let it come up naturally. Be there if your friend wants to talk - let her know that you will be her ear if she needs a chat. Turn up with a present, and a card as you would with any other baby - the worse thing to do is nothing. Your friend will appreciate your efforts. Hope she has a safe pregnancy and a good delivery!

treat the baby as you would any soon to be born baby iynwim
and when it is born make the normal fuss.