Influence of Autistic Sibling on Other Sibs

[rowingboat]

Hi everyone, I hope you don't mind me posting here for a friend.
My friend has an autistic son who is twelve and also has two younger children a son of five and a younger daughter of 14 months.
She has asked me my opinion on her five year old son, not about a specific condition, but just whether I thought his behaviour was 'normal' compared with my child and his friends of the same age.
I have always reassured her that I think he is a very bright boy who is quite sensitive and what I would call, spirited. Having spent a lot of time with him over the past year he does seem very demanding compared with a lot of the other middle children that I spend time with and in general for his age.
His mother thinks he has been influenced by his elder brother's lack of social awareness and says he has trouble fitting in with other children his age, as he tends to dominate and become upset when they don't want to follow his directions.
She has had him assessed for autism, but he was found not to be autistic.
Recently, I have started to wonder if she could be correct and his elder sibling has influenced his behaviour. He can be very abrasive to adults and other children, ordering them to do things loudly and indulging in name calling to adults and children, not in a particularly humorous fashion. I find him quite difficult to reason with, he refuses to make eye contact if I try to help him with a game or toy even after he has asked for help. I also think he seems quite insecure and worries if he can't do the same things as other children, seeming quite agitated. He has only just turned five and does seem a lot more tempramental than pretty much all of the other five year old boys I know. I mean they all have their moments, but he seems to have more than normal.
I'm rambling here, but I want to give a fair representation.
Could this boy be having trouble adjusting to social situations because of the way he sees his brother interact with his parents and others?
Thank you for any replies!

MY DS2 who has autism is 13 and my DD is 7.

I guess your question is impossible to answer without being around the family dynamic.
The younger child may be echoing behaviours that his brother has modelled for him. He may be doing the same things his brother does which generate attention from his parent/others. It could be that he has inate tendencies that his mother does not 'parent' out because she does not see them IYSWIM. - so if she is used to her DS1 speaking abruptly she may not 'see' her other child doing it and reproach him for it.

It could be loads of things.
With DD I did see her echoing some behaviours when she was a toddler, like climbing on things, but I quickly dealt with them by explaining that neither she nor her brother should do that but That DS2 tended to forget - but that I knew she could remember in future.
Also he is just at an age when he is recognising that his big brother is not a mainstream big brother. I know my eldest DS1 started to 'worry' about whether he had ASD too and unbeknown to me thought it was something that might suddenly happen to him.

Does your friend talk to her younger son in open terms about his brother? He may be anxious about things he does not understand.

Hi,i have 5 children,one who is autistic. He is 8 and his younger brother is 5. My 5 year old is very moody and sulks for ages when he can't get his own way. A teacher recently asked me if i thought he was influenced by his older brother as children often are. However i was an extremely moody child,think i grew out of it at about 25 ,so i think it is more his personality than my parenting or his brothers influence (espec as my other children don't behave like him).
I agree with pagwatch that it would be impossible to answer without being around the family dynamic.
Having had 5 children though i have found them all so very different in temparement and nature and maybe some are more open to being influenced than others.
Thats not an extremely helpful answer i know,sorry,hope you get some more helpful replies

I have a 10 year old severely autistic son who has 2 NT brothers (aged 7 and 4). The only behaviour I have ever seen imitated is ds2 copying ds1 sniffing books - but he was about 2 at the time.

Whatever is going on with her other son, I doubt it's from the influence of his brother.

Thank you pag and Jo for your helpful insights.
I realise there are lots of factors within a family which can influence behaviour as well as his own personality type.
It is very intersting to hear how you addressed the climbing Pag, I know my friend has concerns that her middle boy may be seeing an 'unfairness' in the treatment of or behaviour expected of the older boy. She has to make allowances for the older child and I think she feels now has different 'boundaries' for behaviour because of the first child. Which chimes with your comment about not 'parenting' certain things, such as abrubtness. She is not a very confrontational person and I think the middle child overwhelms her slightly.
I do think the middle child is just a bit highly strung and also detect some jealousy over the 'baby' who is a lot more laid-back than the first two children and is therefore a bit easier for my friend.
As regards talking about the older child's autism, she does seem pretty open about it and I have heard her mention it a few times to the middle child.

I have asd 3yr old and an NT dd who is 1. She copies everything her brother does, even turns toy prams upside down to spin the wheels, and joins in with him when he flaps.

It is a worry of course, but she is doing what she is meant to be doing, - looking up to her older peers and copying. Hopefully she'll be able to generalise this across settings and not just focus on her DB. There is no doubt in my mind that she does not have autism. She communicates in a way that amazes me and that I have never had experience of.

My DS2 is hfa/adhd (8 nearly 9) - he has an older brother nt (10) and younger sister nt (nearly 7) - dd would copy ds2 at times - however, she doesn't have any difficulty with social interaction.

I agree with Saintdamemrsturnip I also doubt that this is due to a sibling influence.

DS2 flaps bits of string and laughs while saying 'I'm flapping like DS1 Mummy' - Similar behaviour but also very very different. ASD behaviour is very different from an NT copying - the fact that they are copying in the first place is a bit of a giveaway !