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SN children

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Original poster

Anyone else's child stressed out by festivities?

20 replies

debs40 · 01/12/2009 17:06

DS (6) has had a terrible few days after school. Really highly strung and tearful. Also hasn't wanted to go into class without me in the morning and he was doing really well recently.

The school day has been all over the place with nativity practice and it has suddenly gone really cold so we have started to think about getting a new coat as the one he has is just too small. This is a big issue as he's tactile defensive and really particular about clothes. He wears the same thing all the time.

Today he was upset as in the hall they were told his class wasn't singing as well as the other class and they had to catch up. It was clearly something said to encourage 'come on x class, sing a bit better like y class' but he's taken it very literally and things they're all going to get told off.

He also can't stand the smell in the hall as he is hugely sensitive to smells and that is where the school also have their lunch. He was too scared to tell anyone.

He is ok now but the first hour or so after getting in is a nightmare. He grabbed DS2 (whose 3) by his hair today as he touched his popcorn and then started screaming.

I've written it all down in his home/school book but school are usually led by whatever I suggest, so, any suggestions??

I'm glad we're off to BIBIC on Thursday!

OP posts:

Original poster

debs40 · 01/12/2009 17:07

Sorry, I should have said, that in conclusion, I think it's the nativity practice, the change in the weather and the excitement of Christmas which is setting him off.

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Marne · 01/12/2009 17:18

Dd2 had a bad day at nursery yesterday, maybe its because they have started singing x-mas songs and doing x-mas things?

Luckily she breaks up from nursery in less than 2 weeks time so only 2 weeks of stress left.

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 01/12/2009 17:33

we have same problems here, so much so that we are taking DD1 out of school for the last week. Its all too much for her and last 2 years have been a nightmare.
This week we have school disco and red day to deal with and next week we have panto (still not sure how well that one will go), but last week is madmness.

Let us know how BIBIC goes, just been reading about them, they sound wonderful

borderslass · 01/12/2009 17:34

my son is 15 and still gets stressed out every year at this time its the change it routine he doesn't like,a few weeks ago he said they should ban Christmas and I asked him if he meant completely and he said no but ban it until December,He usually tells people to f off if they mention the C word too early.

Original poster

debs40 · 01/12/2009 17:38

Lol borderslass..I know how he feels.

Thing is teacher puts a note in the book saying 'DS been fine despite two play practices today'..I get aaaargh. It is so obviously linked to play and it has suddenly gone really cold here so it feels wintery and Christmassy. Even having advent calendars to open today can upset everything.

I think people don't understand how something which is fun and exciting can be a nightmare for children like DS even though they really want to be part of it too.

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busybeingmum · 01/12/2009 18:40

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Original poster

debs40 · 01/12/2009 18:43

busy..that's what we get..ok at school but then stress comes out at home.

Do school do anything to address this? I'd like to be able to put forward some suggestions.

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busybeingmum · 01/12/2009 19:02

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trace2 · 01/12/2009 20:14

oh yes we are trying some thing different this year, we have put the decorations up early hoping he gets used to them in time for christmas day he didnt go to pantomime (today) stayed home to loud for him , told teacher if they should not put him of front of class at school play hes getting really worked up about this because he thinks they all want to give eye contact, even though i told him they all just looking forward. and we really gona try and not tell him when its christmas eve hoping hecan get some sleep last year was 5 30 in the morning and up 1 hour later.

mysonben · 01/12/2009 22:29

So far so good for DS, but last year, he refused to go anywhere near the school/nursery Santa, ...let alone getting a pic with him.
He also was pretty much indifferent to the idea that Xmas was coming (hardly no awareness on that particular concept), and we had a job to control him Xmas day at my in-laws, it was tantrums after tantrums.
He seems to react a bit more when we talk about Santa, presents, xmas tree,... but still doesn't asks questions about it or show any anticipation. DS sometimes seems emotionally flat!

mysonben · 01/12/2009 22:36

I forgot to mention this year, i have prepared a strip of festive pecs for DS (we din't know his problems were due to asd last xmas...).
I will introduce them to his visual now, next, later board when it is required, and have already shown them to him and gave a short explanation of what they mean. I hope it will help him a bit...

Original poster

debs40 · 01/12/2009 22:40

Thanks folks

I've just done a little festive calendar with main events and pictures on it until Christmas Day. Hope it helps!

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thederkinsdame · 02/12/2009 11:46

Me too. Last year DS walked into the lounge, saw all the presents and walked out again. he just couldn't cope. (THis was before DX) This year we are having Xmas day alone just us, and limiting gatherings to small ones. Family visits will be low key, without loads of rushing about, as he just can't cope otherwise.

busybeingmum · 02/12/2009 12:31

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CardyMow · 02/12/2009 12:38

urrk the festive season shmestive season. Having 2 AS kids who get overwhelmed at it all, and one NT child who wants decorations up on 1st Dec gets a bit hairy, my 11yo DD can just about cope with it once school breaks up, my 6yo DS gets really odd about it, he hid under a table in the hall during the nativity last yr...Then my 7yo gets angry at me and them as all HIS friends have their decs up 1st Dec when they open their advent calendars...I turn into the grinch every year now!!!

Original poster

debs40 · 02/12/2009 12:40

Thanks. This year he has a Wii so hopefully there will not be lots of things to open - can't afford anything else after that!

I saw the NAS sheets which are useful. Also, he really liked his holiday calendar. Just a table done in a word document with the date of every day in a box and google images for certain days e.g. his nativity next week, the cinderella pantomime. You can see how it suddenly all makes sense to him when he sees it like this.

I shall also warn family coming that they need to be very clear about arrival times.

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Peachy · 02/12/2009 12:46

DS1 is having a bad time also, not allowed out in the playground until christmas now because of too many incidents.

Doesn't help that he turns 10 tomorrow, so double bubble.

he doesn't do the lpay now (after me begging for 2 years) but is simply handling the PA system. Much better.

Original poster

debs40 · 02/12/2009 12:52

Peachy.. that is a good idea! I will see how it goes for him with over the next few days. An 'engineer's' job is a great idea!

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coppertop · 02/12/2009 14:04

My 6yr-old (AS) is finding it really tough atm. He enjoys the actual activities but can't cope with the way the whole routine has changed. I suspect there's a bit of sensory overload mixed in there somewhere too with the Christmas lights and decorations at school.

Fine at home but lots of meltdowns at school.

My 9yr-old is coping fairly well with it so far this year. I'm actually stunned because it's usually one of the worst times of the year for him but he's been happy to join in with everything so far.

chopstheduck · 02/12/2009 15:04

I think ds is pretneding it isn't happening atm!

He didn't want to go to the disco. He is not having xmas dinner at school. He refused to do anyhting in the special assembly. He does not want to visit father christmas.

He is generally a lot better with christmas itself now though. We did have a few years of him hiding in a corner away from the Evil Presents. Last year he was fine, we spent a lot of time talking and looking at pictures before the day itself. Fingers crossed for this year!

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