Throwing a brick at my head ASD or just bad behaviour?

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

My son just got his diagnosis, he is 4.

He threw a mortar brick at my head in a rage last week after I told him he couldn't play with it. It resulted in me going to hopsital with a hairline fractured skull and needing stitches.

We got to hospital before a friend picked the children up and DS was really upset.

Our SN health visitor said it was normal and she was angry that I got angry with him when it happened. Then our SN nurse told me it was normal behaviour for such a young child.

Obviously time has passed but I'd like to know how any others would have dealt with it.

Anyone?

how odd that she got angry with you for being angry with him, would have thought that was a normal reaction.

Surely its a natural reaction to be angry when you have just been hit around the head by a brick.

I think you dealt with it the same as anyone else would have. Luckily dd1 has only ever bit me (which made me shout loudly).

I think its hard to say at that age if it was the ASD or not, a young child does not realize what damage a brick can do and they don't really think of the out come when they are angry.

Has he ever done anything like this before?

I tend to leave the room if dd1 starts getting angry or starts arguing with me and give her 5 minutes to think about what she wants to do next, its hard to get dd1 to back down (she will argue until i'm in tears), 5 minutes on her own gives her time to think.

Err I would have been angry too if I'd been hit on the head with a mortar brick. I've only ever had toys thrown at me (last week being a big remote control dinosaur thrown at the back of my head) and I shouted through the shock (didn't see it coming) and pain and put DS1 (4.1, dx ASD) in his room.

I get how 4 year olds, particularly those with ASD etc, may not fully understand the consequence of their actions and the whole ignoring bad behaviour praising the good blah blah but I can't ignore having things thrown at me (or anyone else).

What did the SN HV suggest you should have done in the circumstances?

Hope your head is feeling better.

Would have reacted the same as you - we're not saints just because we ended up with a child with SN. I admit I shout much less at DS3 (ASD) than DS1 and DS2 because to be honest I feel more guilty shouting at him because he can't help it to the same extent but of course in the spur of the moment you are going to react. Its not normal for a typical 4 year old to throw a mortar brick - to lash out at times eg hit and scratch etc and throw toys yes, but not a brick. Use it to your advantage and apply for DLA if you haven't already on basis your son is danger to himself and others and needs constant care etc. Don't let them make you feel bad about yourself. You do a hard job.

My DS (ASD -3.5yrs) regularly throws his toys about out of boredom or when having a 'meltdown.' Thankfully, he has never got hold of a brick - you have my sympathies. I was told by the paed. to 'tell him you're angry, not show him you're angry' and it is very difficult because some of the things he does would make any sane person livid! I sometimes have to just walk away and let him work it out of his system. I take the 'weapons' away and shut him in the lounge behind his safety gate (he can climb but it slows his progress.) Sometimes distraction can work but when he is angry about being angry that doesn't work - a bit like at the moment - he is upstairs in his room throwing things at the safety gates and banging his legs on the floor. DS is trying to make me think it is his head but I sneaked up there and caught him out! It is a war of attrition - hope you feel better soon.

Wtf? Yes, I do acknowledge my kids are more likely to do things like that due to their lack of impulse control and lack of understanding of what it feels like to have a foot in my face/teeth in my arm or whatever, but I don't excuse them for it. If it hurts, I let them know it hurt and if I'm cross, I let them know I'm cross, even if I have to try and modify my expression of anger so that it's stereotyped and understandable rather than natural and scary or even entertaining for an already hyped up kid.

I see it that for kids who have more difficulty with learning appropriate behaviours, we have to work extra hard at teaching them appropriate behaviours and that isn't going to happen if we pretend that something dangerous like that didn't happen.