Help! How do I teach ds2 how to chose?

[anonandlikeit]

How can I help ds2 learn how to make a choice.
We do all the usual stuff, narrow down choice, give him choice of just 2 things to chose between.
But every choice ends in tears & distress & he just can't do it.

Even basic q's like Orange or Blackurrant he can't cope with.
Its impacting at school now & becoming more difficult for him.
It just seems to be getting worse, not better.
If we chose for him, well obviously thats not right either & ends in more tears.

Soory that should be CHOOSE!

Start with a preferred object vs non-preferred, make the choice an easy one.

Orange or blackcurrant could be difficult; whereas orange or raw potato is probably a bit easier. Give him loads of praise for making a choice, and where possible, make one of the items a 'treat'. You can then build up gradually to choosing between two preferred objects.

How old is he? What kind of SN does he have?

Thanks tethersend, he is 6 & has autism & mild CP.
We do use the obvious/less obvious choice & he thinks its very funny, the orange v raw potato for example, he would just laugh.
But we can't get beyond that stage & it seems to be getting worse.
He can no longer go in the library at school for example, or choose an activity, or if given the choice paint or chalk in art at school, it all just ends in a drop to the floor & sobbing.

use pictures of the items so he has a visual to point to?

Thanks little, yes we do use lots of pictures/symbols for most things.

This week even q's like "X do you want to go in the garden?" have been hard, a simple yes/no response at the moment he is struggling with.

How far in advance of the activity is he asked to choose?

Is it just before the activity itself?

I wonder if he could see the choosing as a 'barrier' between him and the activity?

I know it's a PITA, but perhaps you/TA/Teacher could sit with him for 10 mins at the beginning of the day, and make a schedule of activities, where he makes (limited at first) choices? He can use his PECS/symbols for this. Therefore no surprises IYSWIM... I know it's time consuming, but so is consolling him when he drops to the floor, so may be worth a try?

Also, how does he respond if you tell him to go in the garden?

Actually thats a good point, we give plenty of warning about things we are going to do, timetables etc but probably not much warning about the actual decision.
So his timeable may have library time on it but doesn't break down the activity so that we/tacher/ta discuss what is going to happen & the choice aspect.

We will give that a try.

He is great at following rules, if I told him to go in the garden, he would go, but without direction when he gets out there would either just stand there or maybe would go to the trampoline, depends if its good day!

I would avoid giving him choices where possible, until he is dealing with one or two a day really well.

The only reason we say "do you want to go into the garden?" is because it's polite- "go into the garden" sounds a bit rude.

Often these rules don't apply with ASD (as I'm sure you're aware!); I don't think your DS will think you are being rude for telling him to go in the garden- he may actually be grateful for the clear instruction. You could tell him which activity to do also.

Once he has got the hang of making stress-free choices in advance, then you could introduce "go into the garden and play with x or y" (using PECS/symbols).

Even though the question "do you want to go in the garden?" only requires a yes or no answer, it actually requires a lot of soul-searching to answer it- Do I want to go? What if it's too cold? What will I do once I'm out there? Is there something good on telly?

He's just not prepared for all these options - he may feel a bit 'ambushed' IYSWIM

He will get it eventually, but start small. Very small. And good luck

Thanks tethersend, you've made me think in more detail about what we ask him etc.
It's a fine balance between trying to encourage independance & choice & not overwhelming him.
It would be easier if he could just go in the garden of his own accord if he wanted but because he needs our help to put on his splints & shoes etc, its usually a case of his brother goes out so we are askign if he wants to go aswell, IYKWIM.

But I suppose if we put his shoes on & he doesn't want to go, even an objection from him is a choice & the step in the right direction.

Thanks again for your thoughts & ideas, just getting somebody elses view can really make you think!