thanks for your replies. It is awful isn't it. Have just let her read all of this.
Basically her DH is paying quite a lot to his ex but she has asked for a reassessment, as she has heard he is earning more. he is, but they have also had another child. CSA have called him and said he will have a to pay more and they are currently calculating it. She can't work as DS1 has hosp appts, OT appts, physio appts, even psychology appts now to help him come to terms with his condition. Adaptations cost about £4500 over 12-18 months, then there's all the transport, parking, etc. She also can't work with a new baby. She is definitely on the old rules.
Can't believe they would count the CA as income. All the DLA goes on paying towards her DS1's adaptations, the CA goes on daily living, petrol, parking etc. The system is all wrong.
Don't get me wrong, her DH wants to pay towards his other son, but he already pays a good deal, pays for lots of other things for him too, has to travel 100 miles a week round trip to see him, and his mum has a high flying job etc and won't even help with driving, not once in the last 5 years!