School meeting next week

[debs40]

Next week, when we return after half term (DS is going to love that - not), we have a meeting with class teachers and SENCO.

It is in the middle of the day, for half an hour (have been told the length of it already ) to discuss DS and school support.

The problem we have faced to date is that although they see there is some sort of problem and have done somethings such as give extra help over transitions and (begrudgingly) the smallest home/school book you can imagine, there is a feeling that 'he's doing well' so what's the problem.

I have tried to make the basic issues clear and will concentrate on these at the meeting e.g. he gets lost with instructions in a group, he can't remember basic tasks, he's coping by copying others.

I think they will be willing to address some of these concerns but another worry I have is that one of his teachers said to me when I last raised all this 'we don't want to make him feel different, he doesn't want that'. This was in relation to some of the aids suggested by the OT (we haven't seen her yet but she spoke to me on the phone) for hypotonia and hypermobility.

I replied that by eating bark and chewing his feet in class, he has sort of marked himself out! This is something his class mates were eager to tell me about at his open day !

How do you counter this attitude? I don't want to single him out but I want to make sure he gets whatever help he needs

Hi debs,

Half an hour for such a meeting is very poor and it looks like this has been done grudgingly to appease you. The school's whole attitude is a problem; this "he's doing well so what's the problem" often is code for, "well he is really slipping through the cracks". It sounds like they really do not know how to effectively work with him, nor I suspect do they really want to. These people are clearly not up to speed on working with any hypotonia or hypermobility issues he has.

A way forward here for you is applying for a Statement (know I have mentioned that before to you, sorry) because the school will then have to abide by it to the letter. Anything other than that will get brushed over.

Do let us know how it goes next week and kick their respective arse!!!. Never forget that you are your son's best - and only - advocate.

Hi

Thanks. I am coming to that conclusion myself!

They seem to have very limited knowledge of these issues. I mention something like the pen grips and they haven't a clue - 'his writing is ok'. That's not the point. He told me his hand hurts when he writes recently which I understand as I have slight hypermobility and my hand does too.

It took me weeks to get a home/school book and I think that was only after the SALT also recommended it and it is the tiniest notebook you could imagine. I'm sure they're not going to read anything I put!

I have spelt out that these issues are complex and often hidden. He made something at school at the end of term. Very nice it was too. I'm sure he enjoyed doing it and looked fine in class. Ask him at home what it was and he says 'I don't know'. He either didn't hear or didn't understand what they were saying.

I will talk to them about applying for a statement myself. We have BIBIC at the beginning of December and I'm hoping that will give a clearer picture.

I have also asked my GP to refer to the Dyscovery Centre. I'm not hopeful as it is expensive but the local team here seem about as much use as the school.

Home ed is looking good at this point. It's not that he doesn't enjoy school sometimes but he's just not getting things in such a large group. If you said you would never have to go back, he wouldn't care

Sometimes Debs schools just aren't willing to listen to us parents.
Do you have a psych or community paed that could spell things out to the school face to face.
For some reason they may be more willing to listen to someone who has only met your son once or twice just because they have letters after their name

Well, we're still waiting to be seen by the psychiatrist at the social communications disorder groupat CAMHS so no. Also, I contacted them to ask for advice about this and they weren't interested. The head of the service said they would help with 'home' issues but not school ]. Hence, I want out of this area if that is the level of service.

The community paed has been the most involved and she has intervened before. The SALT said she will produce a report for us by the meeting next week so we will at least have that.