This is the letter i thought I'd send to the school that upset me the other day, what do think girls?
I have deliberated long and hard before writing to you, following my visit to your school on Friday 16 May when Charlotte and I met with your staff with a view to her joining you for her pre-school education next year.
May I start with emphasising that Charlotte is a normal, healthy, content and happy child. Her social skills are probably a little more advanced than other babies of her age; she feeds herself, she sleeps well, and she clearly communicates her needs. Her co-ordination skills are at the level they should be at this stage and she is developing in line with her age group. She doesn?t yet crawl but circles the floor in any given position using her legs.
Some children have red hair, some have freckles; some have brown faces and some have pink faces. Charlotte has Down?s Syndrome. Charlotte is, and will be, exactly the same as every other child in the world, albeit with their own special characteristics; one ?difference? may be that her development will be at a slower pace. And like all children, she brings her own positive characteristics to add to her peer group.
When I initially telephoned your school to make enquires of your waiting list, I was told there would be no problems at all because of Charlotte?s condition; indeed I was delighted when I heard she ?could not be treated specially?. That was music to my ears. Charlotte does not need to be treated ?specially?; she is as special and unique as any other child.
So you can imagine my disappointment when I finally met your staff to be met with the very attitude I did not imagine to exist in your school. I would like to stress that nobody was unkind and I know that no offence was intended by anyone. Yet I left the school feeling very unsettled and confused and very unclear as to what the problem was. The staff seemed more pre-occupied by Charlotte?s possible ?special needs? which were mentioned constantly. Nobody has any idea at this stage that Charlotte will have any ?special needs?. It would be very wrong to pre-empt this now, surely.
One teacher even called over another because she had had an experience of a child with Down?s Syndrome coming to tea with her own child. Her words were ?she (the Down?s child) even had tea with us? and told me that her son had to remind her to talk to him the same as everyone else.
I was then very actively encouraged to make enquiries of ?Hegaston? because of its special needs facilities ? even being advised to drop in there ?on my way home?. Again, this was very clearly pre-empting that Charlotte is going to fit into the category of ?special needs?.
I apologise if this letter appears to be somewhat rambling. The intention is purely to let you know my feelings; I would very much prefer to express them to you than to talk to the wrong people about the situation.
I would also like to make it very clear that I would love Charlotte to join your school. It fits in with my church affiliation and I have the feeling that she would be very happy in your midst. I wouldn?t want my possible bluntness to jeopardise Charlotte?s future with you ? yet at the same time I feel it is more constructive and healthy to discuss my feelings with you.
It?s also Downs?s Syndrome Awareness Week so what better time to air my views and ask for your understanding!
I would very much like to come in again to see you and for you to maybe meet Charlotte. And please keep her name on your waiting list! Charlotte is a delightful 17 month old ? and I believe she will be an equally charming and able 2 ½ year old. On a more objective note, I fully understand that should Charlotte develop any outstanding problems before pre-school time (as any child might) we would have to re-think her education generally. But please don?t let her be judged ?just in case?.
With kind regards,