So, I dropped DD1 off at school on Friday and guess what I found out...

[cktwo]

She is being totally over-supported. They are feeding her at lunchtime(she feeds herself with a fork and has a beaker to drink from at home) and one of the assistants was painting with her ie covering her hand with hers and making it move!

DD1 has been at mainstream pre-school (she's now in SS)since she was 3 and is really quite independent. She needs 1:1 to make sure she doesn't wander and to focus attention and I was really shocked by this level of support.
We've got an appointment with the head tomorrow but i don't want o come over as a whinger. Any ideas what to say?

You could say that you feel that her transition from pre-school to school has not been handled well, and that there appears to have been a lack of communication - ask if there has been a transition meeting with pre-school staff.
You could offer to come in and hold a staff training session on your DD, or offer staff the opportunity to visit you at home to see what your DD can do in her normal environment. Give the examples you gave in your post and point out that, although well-meaning, staff are actually holding your DD back. Good luck!

Thank you for repying. DH suggested we go in and spend a day there but I initially thought it might be a bit pushy. I may rethink that idea now .

We had a transition meeting - I attended it and couldn't fault what went on there. I guess it's really hard for the staff as every child they have is different with different needs.

It's the biggest problem of all with 1:1 support and most frighteniong of all, people doing it really think they are helping because no training really exists to demonstrate that what they are doing actually leaves the child worse off.

Most of my work as a SALT involves this issue.

Moondog, would you advocate one of us goin into school?

Yes,you need to spell out what you do and don't want her to have help with. Organise a training session if necessary, distribute simple written guidelines and have everyone sign and say they understand and agree to abide by them.

Otherwise it will continue.