Help - My DS1 has AS and I can't control his angry outbursts

[Lorns]

Hi there

MY DS1 (although he's hardly darling), has AS. He is 11 and in year 7 at secondary without any support. Over the last 6 months he has got alot stronger and now punches and kicks me. Yesterday he banged a door so hard in his anger, that he smashed all the glass and after half an hour of sobbing dismissed all concern. He just wondered why we were still cross with him. He is also very verbally abusive towards me and tells me to "shut it" (among other things) all the time.

If I ignore him he will just start punching me and when i grab hold of him to put a stop to it, he tells me I am a child abuser as I'm touching him against his will.

Anyone got any ideas. My marriage can't survive much longer and need to protect DS2 and 3.

We at long last got a trampoline about 4 months ago. After going on it constantly for a few weeks, he won't go on it now. His reason? Because we didn't get the one he wanted, it isn't the same make as his cousins and isn't as big (only 10ft) as his friend who has a 14ft. AAAAArghhhh!!!!!

DS got chosen to have a netbook for the term and brought it home today. Itching for Dh to get home as he can't connect to the internet on it without a special code. Now moaning about having to bring it to school every day and him being the only one in his tutor group who was chosen. Instead of being chuffed, he's annoyed because he thinks he'll never get to use it as school! Talk about cup being half empty!!!!

RE Mum with AS. The funny thing is after years of denying that there is anything wrong with DS1, but happy to say "I used to do that or think that way" about DS1, she now acknowledges DS1 has AS!!!

My DS1 is now being nice for a change. After a bad day when an expensive new running waterproof I bought him was rejected because he spotted a minute mark on it (this upset me because i was conciously being extra nice buying it for him) I was all set for a trying evening when by chance DS1 joined me looking at all the old family snaps on iphoto, seeing all his baby pics and birthday photos where he is the centre of attention and also seing pics of his wee brothers looking cute and harmless really cheered him up and he has been happy ever since. It made me realise how negatively we have been responding to him lately and how he has been reflecting that back. It can be a bit of a challenge finding his good points sometimes though.
He has gone out training wearing the previously rejected jacket!

I am so with you re the jacket wigglybeezer. Funnily enough I had lunch with a friend, and conversation invariably got round to DS1. I am also very aware of how negative both feel and am verbally towards him. It's so hard, as you know to be positive and lovey when things are thrown back in your face. However, I am going to make a conscious decision to be more positive. So glad he's turned around and enjoyed looking back at photos. DS1 was such a smiley, happy baby. I want to see that baby smiley boy once again. Lets see if I can get through tonight without being negative. Mind you he's up stairs now hopefully getting to bed so it shouldn't be to hard

It'sfairly obvious witrh me, but I ahev high areas of skills in certaina ras and use those to cope- which of course is the absolute most important factor. I hate telephones, so use email; I have no spacialawreness and stillcan't reliable find Tesco after 5 years here but I get Dh to drive or sometimes I just ehad that way and drive until I get there or don't. It's taken a long time, but the only thing that really affects me now is social stuff- I am terrible at maintaining friendships and it only takes a single comment for me to crumble and be silent for ever as I have aquired bullies so many times in the past (not that distant past, last post ehre about some maybe three weeks ago).

But it would be ridiculous to takemservices away from people who need them like my boys just to get a dx: indeed the only benefits I could imagne would be Lecturers at Uni might understand why I work alone at almost all cost and that I don't approach for help becuase I can't, rather than am stand offish IYSWIM.

I don't recall Mum ever having a friend, and for Grandad I am aware nan used to lock him in when I was a child- I never got why until my Mum took over support when she died: Nan was clearly wrong but Mum hates going anywhere with him, he will go shopping after wetting himself and then visit people like that (no age related stuff,Mum says he ahs always been the same and he is banned from many shops because he is rude, often in a racist way. My first degree was in world faiths, and I had to stop seeing him for a while as his racist comments made me so angry.

BethNoire and mumslife. You are amazing and inspirational!!!! It makes me really sad to know how much bullying and dispassionate words can harm people. Why do people do it? Why can't they just get a life!

hi you may want to try the homeopathic remedy bright spark fro melt down s and anger
other useful things are osteopathy at least every 3 weeks
the osteopathic centre for children may be able to giv e a list nationwide
the other thing is to remove the gluten and the dairy
behaviour is always food related as is allergies
good luck my son is asd