Hi all,
DS1 is currently being assessed, has definite developmental delay, social communication difficulties, receptive language delay. In all liklihood he's ASD but we haven't had a formal DX yet. Meanwhile he's going into y1 at school and is going to repeat his reception year as they have mixed year groups at his school.
School have been great, he's been on SA+ so we've had termly reviews etc. plus he did a couple of afternoons a week back at his old nursery last year. He really struggled last year but so far this year things have been much better, he's going in a lot more happily anyway.
But now it's me who's struggling! I posted a thread on here a while back about how isolated I feel as a parent, how I used to be one of those sociable mums when he was a toddler but gradually all social activities have had to be phased out due to his behaviours becoming ever more difficult to manage in company (attacking other children, refusing to allow me to speak to other adults, etc.)
And the school gate is a strange one. Over the past year I've started to get to know people a bit, but nobody well enough to properly talk to, just sort of idle chit chat about the weather, what we're doing on holidays etc. And obviously there are no playdate invitations I just keep trying to be be friendly, smiley, etc. and it's OK but as I say it hasn't yet led to any proper friendships developing. Meanwhile DS's more 'quirky' behaviours become ever more visible as he gets older and bigger (eg. going to what parties we have been invited to and him refusing to join in any of the games, having meltdowns about the 'wrong' drink, etc.; or running straight out of the school gate and lying on the pavement to look down the drain ) and I'm consumed with anxiety about how people must be perceiving this and what judgements are being made about how crap a parent I must be. And yet I don't know anyone well enough to talk openly about what's bothering me (which is my usual method for coping with anxiety .
I just wonder how you get to know people better, and would it make things easier or harder to be open about his difficulties? Part of me feels like this is my main opportunity for interaction at the moment and if I'm not open nobody else will be. But the other part of me feels hugely protective of my DS and not wanting to share such personal information with people who I don't know well enough to trust that they'll be compassionate and open-minded about it.
Sorry, long and self-indulgent post, but I just wondered what experiences you all have of the school gate and how you've handled 'sharing' or not about your DCs' dx. I'm all churned up about this and it's odd, I've never had any problems making friends before but something about this situation is making me feel so anxious and misplaced Don't think it helps that we're currently living quite far away from family and old friends.