Went to nursery to see how DS is getting on...

[mysonben]

Well, i'm pleased that he has made some progress since last May when i went to observe him.
But he still is so behind his peers in many aspects.

He does tend to withdraw still, when teacher asks him questions even simple ones, he managed to give a couple of good simple answers, but was half hiding behind a small pillar whislt talking.
He doesn't like been in the spolight during carpet time.

I also noticed he doesn't really listen to the staff giving instructions, and then look at what the other kids are doing for visual clue.

He did participate in the puzzles activities, but did not talk or interact with his peers once during that 15 mins.
Also the last 5 mins, he got off his chair and was walking into the table constantly (on purpose) iykwim?

He knows his numbers to 18 , but when teacher tried a counting game he was getting all muddled up , same thing with his colours he didn't get one colour right (and i know he can do it at home).

Then at the playdoh table , he sat there cutting up his playdoh into little bits and did manage to do a snake, but again no attempts to talk to his peers or play interactively with them.

So i left after nearly 2 hours there feeling like a wet sunday, although things did not seem as bad as a few months ago.
At least he will sit with the others and try some activities now, even if he 's not on the ball completely.

It sounds like good progress to me I know it's hard, but try to ignore what the peers are doing and just focus on the improvement - he is doing so well! Answering questions, participating in activities, creative play with playdoh. With support, interacting with the peers more should come.

He sounds a lot like my DS to be honest, particularly with regard to not listening to instruction and then copying the others. When my DS was assessed by the autism outreach team this was one of the things they picked up on but they noted that if the same instruction is also addressed to him directly - i.e. the staff repeat what they have said to the group and then tag his name on the end - then he responds perfectly. Might be worth suggesting to your DS's nursery teachers as a strategy?

The only giving short answers to questions to be honest I wouldn't worry about overmuch - lots of children find carpet time a bit overwhelming - even going into DS's reception class there are some NT kids who never shut up during carpet time and plenty of others who would not say boo to a goose (DS included but doesn't stand out if that makes sense).

The getting colours/numbers mixed up could be just that he is getting muddled because he feels put on the spot - DS, too, often hesitates or inaccurately answers questions that I know he knows the answer to and I think sometimes he just panics. Again, I think this is something that will improve with time and support.

The great things to take away from the visit are that he IS making progress...and that he will continue to do so...I would feel proud of him if I were you.

Thanks Amberflower, yes i do feel proud of him and a bit sad at the same time (i try so hard not to compare him to others but can't help doing it )

About the staff , i might just ask them a few questions because staff giving instructions to DS singly after group instructions is one of the point SENco put in place.
Not one teacher idd that during the 2 hours i was there.
And he is supposed to be shown a visual timetable or pics of activities with a few minutes of warning before changes , again no sign of pics and no warnings.

Not very good...

sounds like he is doing well, did he know you were? ds1 becomes very difficult if he knows i am there as in his eyes mummy drops him off then comes back. If that doesnt happen he gets upset and all the old behaviours start.

Yes DS knew i was there, i satyed there from the start of nursery (i mean didn't go back home).

I don't think DS was behaving in a different way than any other day, he is pretty much like that all the time his teacher say.
He does however interact more and listen more when nursery is quieter after 3.30 when lots of kiddies go home (ds stays until 5 with 3 others)

I am equally guilty of constantly comparing my DS to others and then feeling rubbish . I think it is almost impossible not to - particularly when you have a child who is so mildly affected and 'borderline' so to speak.

But definitely have a word with the staff. All very well having strategies and visual timetables but they're no good if they're not happening Having said that, it means your DS is doing even better if he's managing all that without the help of the recommended interventions!

Yes very true, i had'nt looked at it from that angle.