Mainstream or special?

[lou031205]

DD1 has a brain malformation, which is most likely to blame for her GDD. She starts school in 2010, & I need to get my head around what I need to be fighting for (I am taking the need to fight for something as a given ).

She:
-Has very little/no sense of danger.
-Has a degree of ataxia, so stumbles, falls & trips easily.
-Walks slower than peers.
-Quite weak hands.
-Is toilet trained, although has an obsession with the toilet/hand washing, so will say she needs to go as a 'fun' thing to do.
-Has S&L delay/disorder, I reckon she's about about 2.6 level, she is 3.9.
-Has fine motor delay - can draw a rough circle but nothing else.
-Can't cope with structured elements of preschool sessions.
-Struggles with transitions.
-Doesn't seem to learn spontaneously.
-Needs 1:1 support to engage in activities meaningfully.
-Doesn't eat well at preschool, needs supervision.
-Gets overwhelmed with group activities & withdraws.

-Can count to around 17/18.
-Knows shapes/colours.
-Has a good memory.
-Good problem solving skills (couldn't pour water from jug, so dipped cup in).

Given the nature of mainstream schools, there is no doubt in my mind that if she was to go there, she would need full 1:1 support inc. lunch/breaks. Preschool agree.

But I am wondering if a SS would be better for her. She is always going to be chasing the MS kids, trying to catch them up. She learns by repitition, finds it hard to generalise learning, etc.

I spoke to the Area Inclusion Officer, and her gut reaction was that DD1 was 'too bright' for Shepherds Down School (our local SS) and that she would 'run rings around them'). My gut feeling is that being bright doesn't mean much if you can't access the knowledge, and you can't learn much if you are dead (all local primaries are on roads, DD1 escapes/runs - blue badge partly for this).

What are your thoughts?

misscutandstick

Know that feeling ds does not fit into 1 box .did look at sn school but they was going to place him in the Asd base they hyave for the more severe end due to ds support needed for pecs and signing but me and lea felt was not right even head of sn school agreed.Ds is very very passive and showing no signs of behavoiu issues worry be that he be a target for some of the outbursts.

Ds has started at ms school with f/t 1-1 though breaks and dinner he shares a lsa with 1 othe rlittle girl.Seems to be going well though they need more traing in makton and pecs but salt recommned some makton books and next day head ordered them so am impressed

The GDD title semes to have dropped of ds now hes at school there now using term MlD and its beena ceepted that he will always be behind though he will progress just at a lot slower than peers.

I will revisit the school situation each year but figuring by time transfers to juniors y3 he will need special school

I don't think there is any right or wrong, and unfortunately sometimes it is down to trial and error. My son (age 8 - AS) stayed in mainstream until he was year 3. It wasn't working though, and I was getting a lot of negativity from teachers and other parents. Academically he was beginning to slip-he was slipping in year 3 even though he was once ALWAYS the brightest in his class, because he was refusing to take instruction or challenge himself. He also spent so much time on temporary exclusions I really felt his wonderful mind was being wasted. I looked at the nearest ASD special school, but they told me he was too high functioning to be educationally provided for there. I agreed, I just couldn't picture him there. We were lucky enough to have a local school with an ASD provision. He is educated in mainstream with a full time 1-1, but has access to the resourced provision should he need it. All the staff are trained, and there is a general ethos of inclusion and understanding. The change in him in just 9 days is remakable. Emotionally, behaviourally and even academically. I desperately clung on to him staying in his old mainstream school with all of his friends, the day he left in July devastated me, I cried for days. It was my worse fear come true having to move him. How glad I am I did it now. Go with your gut feeling, and always remember you CAN change your mind with a bit of a fight. This is my DS's 3rd school, I think (hope!) that we have finally got it right.

We tried mainstream rather than a unit - mainly because I didn't have good feedback on the unit he was being suggested for and I thought that a mainstream would mean a good package of support. We thought we chose the school carefully, and we got out full time 1:1 and SALT specified in part 3 of statement but it was an utter disaster. No understanding at all within the school and little willingness to learn.

DS1 is now in an SLD/PMLD school and has been for almost 5 years - he has come on so well. His school has a unit (a different one than the one we avoided) on a mainstream site for the more able kids (which tends to be those with LD's rather than those with autism) - which works well for some. SLD works well for him.

I think sometimes you just have to give something a go. It's so hard to judge how a pre-schooler will come on. If ds1 had developed speech we might have made a different decision. But as someone who is non-verbal I would never put him back in mainstream.

LOU its a bit wierd actually, i suppose i do accept that DS5 has LD of a sort, but he is REALLLLLY young for his age.

with a 2yr delay, it takes his abilities down to around 12-18mths. Most of his milestones are that age - hence the 'global' bit. BUT he can sign around 80 signs, all in context and spontaneously. he has learnt them, and now learns NOUNS relatively easy. doesnt really get adjectives at all, but does some verbs.

However, he has no sense of danger, doesnt help with dressing, etc. but would you expect that of a 12-18mth child? im not sure i would. Would i expect that amount of vocab? equally, no i dont think i would.

He has the usual autistic traits (lack of gesture, etc) which make it more difficult to tell whats affected by what.

I've never really understood the comparison with younger age groups. I could possibly place DS1 around the 2.6 age for most things and maybe a little older for a few things ( He's 5.6) but an NT 2.6 is moving forwards rapidly in all areas - whereas DS1 is crawling along in progress terms. btw, this is not addressed to anyone or their child just an observation.

An interesting observation cyber.

I think putting an average 'age' on a child, i think, lets everyone know the possible ability of that child without actually seeing them (ie a report) or at just a quick glance.

I have said to DH "do you think that if an average 16mth child were to have 2yrs experience of life, you would end up with DS5?" bit of a silly question i suppose, but again, just an observation. DS5 acts and looks like hes around 16mths-ish, but has more 'awareness'/confidence than an average 16mth old.

That's what makes it so hard, I think. Labels that make no sense. DD1 has GDD, so why did I have to drag her kicking and screaming from preschool because the glue had been put away? That isn't 'delayed' behaviour. It is SN type obsession.

I find that the label 'GDD' gives a fluffy image of a cute younger child in a slightly different body. The reality is flipping hard work sorry, bad day.

I agree with this wierd 'age' thing. DS has a social and emotional age of not yet 9months, and yet he can say spontaneously 'I want green apple please!' can count up to 20 and knows his alphabet

My dd is 9 and has always been in MS. I would say that an important part to take into accout is how social your child is. My DD is incredibly social although very few decent social skill but she loves people and wants to be with friends and meet people. This has helped her stay in MS as it is important for her to have friends and it has helped her social skills. Being in MS means that she can socialise with all kinds of people and isn't phased by it. I know that if she had gone into a much smaller class in SN school she would be struggling now, it would also have bored her. She will go into SN for mainstream probably although I am worried about there being too few children for her.