going back to school

[jetcat32]

My 12 year old is heading back to school next week, but over the summer a lot has changed.

She now has def diagnosis of dyspraxia (with referral made to OT) and ongoing assessment for ASD. She has also been very poorly over the summer - swine flu, chest infection and post viral cough, and about to be dx with gastric reflux (back to GP on Thursday for definitive dx, but everything he has said so far fits the mark).

I am worrying myself sick about how to handle her going back to school. I have anxiety and depression, which has kicked in big style, and i have no idea on how or what i should tell the school on her return. She needs a very low fat diet (otherwise she will be sick) but due to her communication problems, she wont refuse things in the dinner queue IYSWIM, so if the only thing left is pizza (which it is quite often) she will simply eat that. She cant run at all at the moment without having a major coughing fit, which again, results in her being sick. She is so anxious about being sick at school that i can see her actually making hersel ill through worry. She wont take a packed lunch as she never manages to get it there in once piece!

Re the dyspraxia - school have already commented on how she always tries to get out of PE - and when she was chatting with consultant, it turns out she is fed up of always being last to get ready (cant do the shirt buttons very well) and gets stressed (to a high level) over it.

As i said, my anxiety has kicked in, and although i am trying not to let DD see it, I am really panicking over what to say to school, without me sounding like an overprotective mum.

WOuld the school have received a copy of the medical report the consultant sent me with the dx of dyspraxia? If so, should the SENCO get in touch with me, or do i get in touch with her?

Sorry for the long post, and i would really appreciate some calming wise words

No advise that I can think of right now but my sympathies and thoughts jc...

could you write to the school if you find writing easier? I would write to the senco and prempt contact rather than waiting...sort of 'hi, there have been developments re DD, did you get a copy of the medical report?, if not do you need one?...any chance we can have a chat as to how is best to manage the issues they raise?.' sort of thing.

Is there anyway someone can arrange a dinner for her? They must do for kids with allergies so they should surely accomodate your daughter.

Could her tops be sewn up to a point that she can get them over her head and have poppers or velcro behind the buttons...I could do this for you is it is a solution...it sounds like you have enough on.

Re your own anxiety....do you do mindful breathing at all? like this

You must have strategies so please don't be offended if you have tried it....

Big hugs for now....will get back if I think of anything useful...take care...

awww thanks TMW

I was thinking of writing to school, but couldnt even decide on who to write to - her form teacher or the SENCO

Re your idea for the school shirts - i did consider this in the past, but couldnt figure out how to do it without it looking too obvious, as she will get embarrassed. We have finally managed to get some trousers which are fully elasticated without looking too naff.

I do a breathing technique that MIND taught me - called 7/11. You breathe in for 7 seconds through the nose, and out for 11 through the mouth. It helps sometimes, but other times i cant even count to three!

I am not sure that it is standard practise to send information to the school unless there is a CAF (common Assessment Form) in place do to permission needed to do so. I would recommend a friendly phone call to the Senco to say that over the summer there has been some changes in your dd's situation and that you need to discuss them with her. If she doesnt have time to speak on phone and/or you cant face an in person meeting you could ask if you could email the information in.

state:
WHat diagnosis are
How it impacts her in school
What area would benefit from help
Listen to what Senco suggests as solution
Ask how it is possible to work around any implementation problems that you might forsee
(eg Ds' school want to get him benchmarked asap, but I know he wont show what he is able to do unless he is comfortable about being there, school are now leaving his benchmarking until towards the end of the testing to give him as much time as possible to settle in first) I would suspect that at the moment it might be better for you dd to avoid pe and i doubt that your doctor would be against providing a note to back you up until the reflux is under better control.

Hope some of this helps. Cant be of too much help as pre school system at mo.

thanks Ninja - hope your ds is ok.

I did think about asking the GP about a note for PE - I have been trying to get her stamina up over the past few days, and she can just about manage 15 seconds of running now, at a slow pace, but i doubt that will be good enough for school PE.

The medical report i have from her consultant comments on her unusal style and slow speed of writing - at primary school she was allowed extra time to complete tasks, but that is proving more difficult at secondary. She has very little communication with her peers, and this (amongst other things) is leading the consultant down the ASD path, but as we have no dx just yet, i am struggling with how much info to give the school.

Sorry, what is benchmarking?

Could you ask for someone to oversee your DD at lunchtime? So that she has to make the right choices.

Poor thing, all the anxiety must be making her worse, I am sorry, I have no experience, but I think speaking/writing to the school to try and alleviate any fears and worries that she has and also keep them in the loop as to DX would be good.

Massive hugs to you both though, I am sure that you can get this sorted.

Benchmarking is what they do to see where a child is at (mostly when they start school but also as they progress through the sat are part of the benchmarking system).

I would, tbh, send a copy of the report in because they are going to need to see it for applying for funding. I suspect that your dd is already school action plus and they might need to try to get this as IEP or ILP with funding for maybe someone to help with lunchtime communication and support. Although some schools will do this for school action plus. it depends on the school but the report will state exactly what the issue is, how much of and issue, and often what support is needed. For example ds' school has his verbal comprehension and speech therapy test as well as his initial asd assessment. But as they are listed on the CAF for receiving information they will also have a copy of the post head injury assessment that looks into his reflects and his sleep disorder diagnosis. It is not directly relevant to his school work but does indirectly affect them as if he is very sleep deprived his ability to cope with school and function are hampered and it can be quite obvious that he is very tired. SO it also negates accusations of depriving him of sleep (although hopefully we now have meds that will prevent that - but school need to know about these to).

As long as you are happy sharing the information, overload them and let them decide what is necessary. You ca always just summarise with a covering note the key problems that need most urgent attention. If school are involves they might be able to get educational psychologist in who can get the ball rolling quicker then the peads (ime) for dx. You could ask consultant whether assessment by ed psyc through school would be appropriate or helpful.

Good luck, its hard.

thanks for explaining Ninja - she isnt schoolaction plus now - she was at primary school when she was working with her first OT, but then was took off it again. I did query if she was supposed to go back on it when she was working with the EP a couple of years later, but was told that it wasnt necessary as it was only short term involement.

She also hasnt had an IEP since Y4 - she is now Y8. As she is only just beginning a formal dx process, it has been very much a hit and miss affair with how much support she gets from school.

DD is going back to consultant at the beginning of Oct - as he has now had his multi-disp meeting regarding where to go next. That was at the beginning of August, but i dont get the info until our next appointment. Am just hoping that it will be something productive!

It sounds like you have your hands full with your DS - hope he is letting you get a little more sleep x

He was asleep by about quarter to 7 tonight. Probably see him between 6.30 and 7.30sm. Early but and improvement.