I thought that I would share our recent experience with you all, in case it is helpful to others going through the dx process for ASD.
I will do my best to keep it concise -it turned out to be an epic in reality!
Basically, dd1 (8) has shown signs of ASD from birth. In reception, the wheels really started to come off and she was anxious/obsessive etc. However because she is very bright academically and had really good verbal skills, school dismissed our concerns.
Fast forward 2 years and she was falling apart, so school referred us to CAMHS.
A multi-disc team assessed her and came up with : social and communication difficulties, OCD, obsessions, high levels of anxiety, SPD, Dyspraxia and dyscalculia.
However, because she used her learned social responses (eg she has mastered a fixed smile and a handful of rote responses to general enquiries)and because she could interact with the psyc during the ADOS, they said that she wasn't on the spectrum.
This is despite her ticking all of the other boxes, lacking empathy, hand flapping and being in her own world
But we knew that there was more to it-it had been going on since birth.
At that time, we had cause to instigate a complaint against CAMHS for another issue, so we sought a second opinion about dd. We saw a consultant paed who immediately gave a dx of AS/HFA and said he had no doubts at all-it was very obvious.
Back to CAMHS to discuss the issue we complained about (they grovelled and back-peddled so we just decided to let it go) and the psyc was taken-aback about the AS dx and said he had ruled it out and considered dd to be 'very sensitive and anxious'
So he went back to the beginning and asked for a dev history, list of behaviours etc and he was shocked at what we told him. He said that he was unaware of most of it, as he only became part of the assessment team after the initial history and observations were done. He said no one had made him aware of the red flags. This ties in with our complaint -which is a loooong story.
He now agrees that dd fits into the category of HFA/AS and has admitted he missed the signs. Of course, we could argue that it was his job to make sure he was up to speed. However, all that matters to us now is that dd's AS is recognised across the board.
I posted to make others aware that it's vital that you question 'experts' and trust your own instincts and judgement.
Mistakes are made, no question, and I think it is very easy for them to rule out ASD on the basis that the child does not tick EVERY box. I think this is especially true for girls, who often have better social skills than boys and are therefore seen to not fit the profile.