Anyone ever regretted their decision to get a formal asd dx for their dc?

[mysonben]

Asking this , as in just 2 weeks , ds 3.9. (verbal dx mild asd) has his 2nd appointment with the paed.
All the reports are in, and as parents we have been given copies of these reports (senco, salt, nursery teacher) DH and I were devastated with each report we got to read.
The agenda of this next appointment is to review the situation since last april, and decide what to do about getting a formal dx or not.
Looking at the reports , we feel that it's almost certain that the paed will want to push for a dx.

DH and i are trying to make a decision of our own, should we allow DS to be formally assessed should the paed recommends it?

Could a label of HFA or Aspergers ever be a hinderance to DS?
So many questions, don't know what to do.
And we know only us as parents can make this decision, we want to make the right one though.

Please tell me of your experiences regarding formal dx for your child.
Any regrets? Any positive outcome?
Thanks .

Both our boys have autism diagnoses and it's only opened doors for them.

Lingle, I've found that my kids' school bends over backwards to treat them as individuals. My 5 year old had his own, personalised induction plan for the move from reception to year 1, for example. That school, too, has a very experienced, but clearly less cynical head.

We had a discussion with DH on the subject of accepting a formal dx should the paed recommends one.
If she does (very likely when i think of the reports she has received) then we will go along with it and use it to help ds.
If she says 'No, ds doesn't need a formal dx at this point', then we will need to discuss what the plan is for help and support.

Thank you all very much for all your input and advice on this subject which has been a bit prickly for us .
We both feel a bit better now we have agreed on something.

Mysonben, our dx (DS was 2.5) was completely unexpected for us as we were only hoping for help with speech and language. When we got the dx of childhood autism, I (I say I because DH knew what autism was)did not even know what autism was. Did the dx help us in any way? We were sent to two group activities (as DS was not 3, he was not entitled to go to anythingelse)by the end of both we were told he was ahead of all the other kids there, so did not really need to attend those groups (we both took time off work to get him to these groups). I definitely did feel what's the point of giving a diagnosis if no extra help was provided?

How do we feel about the dx now? Well, DS's autism (if it is not speech delay) is very mild. He is talking very well, although can't have conversation yet (he just turned 4). He never had any sensory issues, nor have any problem with gross motor skills. He is writing a bit, reading a bit, can ride his bike and scooter. But what he has problem with is following group instructions at school. He doesnot have enough language to talk to his peers, so although he tries to initiate contact by saying hello, he is lost afterwards. Unless he is asked directly by the teacher, he would not participate in academics. He needs directions when doing group activities. We are out of the UK at the moment, and he is going to go to private school, so I guess it does not make much difference to him for now. But if we were in the UK, he would have needed extra help at school and if dx gives him that, I would have wanted one for that reason only. We definitely feel that our dx was rushed through without giving DS time to progress. But having said that here we are getting paid from the insurance for his ABA, we would not have got it if we did not have a dx.

Starlight, yep it is a tough decision when the child in question has mild asd, because i do not deny for one second that a formal dx opens the doors to help and certain benefits (that we too simply cannot afford), we want to feel that it will not be a burden for years to come. Only time will tell.
We have agreed to go ahead with it, and we hope it is the right decision (my mum backs us up 100% on that, at least one relative who is supportive and as you are aware it helps a bit!)

Tiredmummyoftwo, i was well schocked when the paed said 'mild asd'. She send me on my way with the NAS website and told me to look it up as i was not very autism aware.
The more i looked into it the more i could see why she said asd.

From the start when ds2 was very liitle there was 'red flags' which had been missed or dismissed by us and the HV, "boys will be boys" i was told, or "he 's late with his talking because you speak 2 languages to him",... btw DS1 (NT) was also a bit of a late talker due to his bilinguisim but nowhere on the scale of ds2. I mean ds1 had caught up before he was 3. Also the bilinguism never stoped ds1 making friends.
About ds2 everyone said (including me) "oh nothing to worry about ds2, he is just a different child to ds1, he is just shy"
I believe should the red flags had been adressed properly when ds2 was younger, he probably would have got an asd dx earlier as he showed more evident "in your face" classic autism symptoms than now, where it is more subtle.
I was very cross when i discovered what the early red flags for autism are, because my ds displayed quite a few of them and nobody picked it up at the time.

Sorry a long post , got a bit side tracked here...