School called me in last term about dd's behaviour (dd is 5.5) with a view to getting her checked out, but I don't know where to start. She is normal in most respects, but has problems with some areas. It has been labelled bad/soft parenting until now, but I am a fairly disciplined parent, and the behaviour has become more pronounced over time, despite me getting stricter with her to try and stop it.
She has what everyone calls "Jeckyll and Hyde" tendancies-I hate them using that but it is all you can describe it as really-really happy one second, then will fly into a rage, scream at other children, cry, hit and bite me, be almost impossible to restrain. Then you point her attention away from the thing that set her off and she is angelic once more and usually has no recollection of the rage.
She also has great problems recognising that you must not run off, or not run into roads, or try and run off railway platforms or river sides. She has fear-she is very wary of dogs, heights etc, and has an incredibly low pain threshold (the lowest I have EVER seen, including me), but just cannot comprehend traffic or stranger danger.
She has incredibly violent and screaming phobias of doctors, dentists, and strangers, but can come round to some people very quickly, and to others not at all, yet is impossible to reason with, calm down or sometimes even prevent from doing herself or others harm when she is having outburts. She will not have friends back to play any more as she cannot bear them touching her things, but is not neat, tidy or obsessive about any of them.
She seems like a totally normal, happy child most of the time. There are no apparent developmental delays, just this absolutely uncontrollable temper. Is it just bad parenting? I feel like I am letting her down terribly, as she can be so charming, yet it takes a long time for people to warm up to her as she is so badly behaved when they meet her.