Am thinking of putting a small A5 note on the side of Maclaren Major explaining why DS is in one....

[SammyK]

is this a bad idea?

Was on the bus the other day with DS in his maclaren major, there was also a girl with a baby asleep in a buggy. A man got on with a wheelchair and as he got on I jumped up and started telling DS to get out of his buggy. Anyway I moved it across the bus and realised it would fit in the opposite side meaning I wouldn't have to fold it. DS was out of his buggy now though and wanted to stand. I let him but left his buggy up incase he started fussing. We took up the space of two seats and none of the aisle with his buggy, and us both standing.

I felt SO self conscious however as the lady whose DH was in the wheelchair, and the girl with the baby talked about mums with older children in buggies not folding their pushchairs, and the old lady on my side of the bus trying to talk to DS, and asking me why I didn't fold up his buggy and let him sit on the chair where the buggy was.

DS ended up being very well behaved bless him but I almost wanted him to kick off so they 'got it' and I could say loudly 'sorry he's autisic'.

I am now thinking of putting a small sign on the side of his buggy explaining it is a buggy from wheelchair services as DS has a disability. I didn't think I would be bothered like this but I am.

why couldn't you have folded it?

Yes he uses it as a safe space and I use it for his own safety sometimes too so a bus a prime example, could have got upset by lady talking to him and wanted to retreat, or I could have been worried about him trying to run across the bus or sit with his mouth on the cold bar (he has done this before when out of thebuggy as likes the sensory feel of it and cut his lip open. Left it unfolded as wasn't infringing on anyone but me, was in a buggy bay where seats could be up for buggies or down for sitting on. He also still often has a nap mid afternoon even though he is 4 (and the size of his seven yr old cousin) especially if we have had a busy day out of the house.

Like your sign BBM.

.Ds needs his for physical reasons and as a safe place for him when its busy as he doe snot cope with crowds

We run into this a lot to people also dont see a major as sn pushchair they think ds is just being lazy or I am.
Hoping this improves when ds gets hs wheelchair fingers crossed on Friday we decided its time as ds was getting upset by being called a baby and was signing back not baby not helped as hes tiny for 4yo .

this is one of the reason I moved to a wheelchair for dd, it stopped all the ??

yeah mind 2shoes her eon the buses if someones in the wheelchair space with buggy the driver wont ask for them to fold it as long as they was already on the bus they got priorty

which is why dd never goes on the bus. that would so piss me off

People are so judgmental - I would get a sign! DS2 likes to walk, but when it all gets to much for him he likes to get into his buggy with his pillow case (dont ask!) and I never can tell when that will be, so I have to push an empty buggy around alot, and I do get nosey people ask me why I have the buggy with me.

I think you have to work on your own thick skin and thinking you don't care what people think, rather than pandering to them with a sign. At least that is what I am trying to do, I KNOW it is not that easy, but it helps ME to think "think whatever you like".

It is SO rude of them to comment in front of you though

I honestly didn't think I would be bothered, I'm don't usually give two hoots what people think! I think it was that I seemed surrounded by people on both sides of the bus that were openly and loudly judging me and DS. When I told DP I was gettinga major his first reaction was what about people staring won't you be bothered? My response was no.

"Think whatever you like" is my usual stance but yesterday I was so upset. (Am a bit hormonal so maybe down to that). I am working on getting back to not caring. Having a stressful week which doesn't help as feel quite tetchy and emotional as it is.

Our bus service has signs that if a wheelchair gets on your pram will have to be folded which I completely agree with. I even got off the bus a couple of times when DS was a baby to wait for the next one if he was asleep and this happened. They are primarily for people with disabilities after all not prams.

I have put a sign on each side of his buggy today. "This is a special needs pushchair from wheelchair services. Please remember that not all disabilities are visible." Hopefully people will notice them and be more aware of what these big buggies are for.

Ironically I have a car (given to me by gran) which I can't afford the lessons for now I have given up work to be with DS full time.

well, well done re the sign, if it makes you feel better, and hopefully it will make them stop and think before being so judgmental.

DP's wage takes us just over the amount of family income threshold to apply for family fund unfortunately.

He is 5 in October fiofio, but unsure if I will get it. I currently receive higher rate of care part as he doesn't sleep well and needs a lot of reassurance and pant changing during the day. Do you think it is worth applying for? Do many vchildren on the spectrum receive mobility componant? (sp?)

not sure yet, we are still in dx process and he is most likely going to end up with a HFA or AS dx. He is very bright in terms of memory, numbers and computer skills, but lacks concentration and so-operation in anything that he deems uninteresting/not on his agenda.

He starts school FT in september with no statement - am dreading it.

He will have been in F1, the preschool attached to his primary school for last 18 months and it was in May 08 I approached his nursery teachers with my concerns and she agreed she had notied the same traits. That got me asking LEA for an assessment which they refused. I then went down medical route for dx: GP, paediatrician, SALT, and now he has been passed back to EdPsych who has to do his assesment part befre it all goes to panel. EdPsych is finally going to clap eyes on my DS end of september.

TBH I can't fault the school staff they are great - but he still doesn't enjoy going, and at one point has ran out into a main road in protest on his bike on the way to school. (Bike has been retired for school runs now don't worry!).

I am more than prepared to pull him out and home school him if I need to and have told HT so. He should not have tpo be distressed and upset everyday due to red tape hold ups.