Am I being unreasonable about this pre-school trip?

[lou031205]

DD1 attends a mainstream preschool, and has full 1:1 support. The preschool has organised a trip to a farm on Friday. The ratio of adults to children for trips is 1:2. DD1 obviously still requires 1:1.

I have DD1, DD2 (23 months) and DD3 (3 months), who is exclusively breast fed.

I couldn't go to the trip with DD1 & DD3 on my own. Couldn't leave DD3 because she is BF. So, I arranged for DH to take a day off work, so that he could come with us. We are therefore taking all 3 children.

Preschool today have said that they will not be providing care for DD1 during the trip, because she has a parent with her, and they need to look after the other children who don't have parents in attendance. (Although at last count there were 22 adults and 22 children booked).

I understand that, but have said that we should be OK, but would really appreciate some assistance if I happen to be feeding DD3, and DH has both DD1 & 2, and she has a meltdown. Preschool teacher has said, but that isn't possible, because the teachers have all been allocated to children. I have said that we will just have to cope.

But, thinking more closely, AIBU?

They will get £8.50 NEG grant for the session, then either £8.50 or £12 SEN funding for her (not sure whether her enhanced funding has come through yet), and I have paid £7.50 for her to attend the trip. So, they will have at least £24.50, if not £28 for her to attend the trip.

Entrance to the Farm is £3 for her. She is not using the coach, because I can't keep her sat on a seat on a coach without a five point harness, so we are driving to the location. DH and I have paid our £4 entry each, and DD2&3 go free anyway.

So, the preschool are receiving between £21 & £25 for Friday, but are offering no support. (The SENCO did say that of course they might step in if there is a real problem, but the preschool leader had instructed her to tell me that there was no support available on that day).

AIBU to think that £21 is enough to keep an eye on DD1 whilst we take general care of her, stepping in only if DH is struggling with a child that needs 1:1 and an under 2 year old?

I suppose they could say that DH could have gone on his own to the Farm with DD, but he has had to take a day off work to be able to support us so that I can accompany DD1.

Would they be providing 1:1 if you and DH were unable to go? Is that a possibility you would consider?

It does sound a bit of a cop out on their behalf, as you are taking and supervising DD1 yourselves. Do you need to take DD2 and DD3 as well? Could just DH and DD1 go? After all it is a preschool trip rather than a family day it, or are other siblings going too?

Sorry, lots of questions. I'm just unclear as to why you are all going. If you want to make it a family day, maybe do this another time aside from the preschool trip.

Sorry, maybe I wasn't very clear.

I was originally going to go on my own, with DD1, but would have to take DD3 with me because she is totally BF and only 3 months. But DD1 needs full 1:1, so DH was worried about me having to deal with DD1 if DD3 needs a feed, etc. I was worried too.

So DH booked a day off work to come with us, so that I am not stuck. It seems unfair to leave DD2 out. Other parents are bring siblings, AFAIK, because otherwise they wouldn't be able to attend.

I don't know if they would be providing 1:1 if we were unable to go. I don't see why DD1 should have to go without having her Mum/Dad in order to secure appropriate care, though.

Ok, I get where you are coming from. I also agree that your DD should have a parent there, and siblings, if that is what is happening with others.

I think I can see your grievance. Presumably the 1:1 that your DD has at preschool will be there, and she is funded by your daughers SEN grant. She should be available for DD, not as a set of hands to help out elsewhere.

I have had this problem with school trips with DS where his 1:1 is assigned a group of children, when she shouls still be 1:1.

Update:

I have just had a phone call from the preschool leader. It is her day off, but the SENCO (and DD1's 1:1) phoned her to say that she was worried that she didn't say the right thing.

The proposed plan is:

All children will be split into 3 groups. DD1 will be allocated to the group with DD1's 1:1 and her alternative 1:1 (my friend, incidentally). They will have 1 child each. DD's 1:1 will be allocated to DD1 in the morning, and my friend after lunch. They will either generally help or if necessary, one of them will take both of the children they are allocated, and the other will give DD1 1:1.

I expressed that I didn't want to be a nuisance in taking the other two girls, but we had thought that the best solution was to have both parents there, which necessitated having all 3 girls there. She says it is no issue, their priority is that we are not stressed, and that all the children have a good time. Apparently there are only 6 children going without parents.

I am happy. Having the preschool teachers just casting an eye to make sure we are not struggling with DD1 is enough, and we can have a few minutes with DD1 having 1:1 if we need to.

I didn't want cake and eat it - ie. both parents and 1:1 so we could have a jolly with the others - just support in the event of a meltdown and me being occupied with DD3.

That sounds great . I never thought you just wanted a jolly . I was just thinking maybe it was over-complicated, but that is how it needed to be if you were to have a day with your DD1 entirely understandable. It sounds like it is going to be a lovely day.

Enjoy

No, thank you for answering my post! I am feeling a bit sensitive - sleep deprived, awaiting blue badge appeal decision, first SS assessment on Thursday, it all gets a bit much.