Social Services/Children with Disabilities Needs assessment - any tips?

[lou031205]

After being told that we weren't going to be offered respite, and asking for an assessment anyway, we had a phone call today, offering an assessment on Thursday.

Apparently, it is a joint assessment between Social Services & the Children with Disabilities Team.

I am a bit worried that they will either decide I am a rubbish mother, and want to take the children away, or think that I am coping well enough and so don't need respite for DD. Neither is true.

The house is a bit disorganised, because I have 3 children under 4, and DD1 has SN. DD3 is only 3 months old & breastfed. DH does his best to help, but we are fighting fire all the time, it seems. We are both up in the night with the DDs. Me to feed DD3, and him to see to DD1 (and sometimes DD2, 23 months).

We are both shattered. We have a Homestart volunteer 2 hours per week, who is lovely. DD1 is full-on, needs constant attention and can get into danger in a flash.

I am worried that because DD1 doesn't have obvious physical disability, that I will find it hard to demonstrate our need for respite care, etc.

Does anyone have any tips about what I should/shouldn't say or do?

don't worry
they are there to help, our sw is part of a team like that and really it just means they deal only with disabilitie.

make sure you tell them the strain you are under. it is a bit like a DLA form, tell them what it is like on the worst day.

Does bursting into tears and shouting "I hate you" to two bewildered toddlers because they had made more mess as you were trying to tidy before the Homestart volunteer arrived count as stress?

i had mine unfortunatley i got chocolate teaport worker he talks waffles and erm waffles some more

Phoenix He obviously didn't realise that thanks to MN you have some idea of what you should expect!

Leave the house in a mess, the kids scruffy and the washing piling up. Cry, look tired and stress how much you cannot cope.
They will not take your children from you unless the children are "at risk", yours are "in need" because of the special needs. You are by far their cheapest option to care for your kids - even with support in place.

Outline what you'd like - help in the home, childminding or whatever. Aim high. Tell them how you have no granny or aunty locally to help out.

And good luck!

Thank you. Mum & Dad do live locally, but they should be able to be Grandparents, not daily helps!