Behaviour in an ASD.ADHD child

[Hsl500]

Hiya I am new here and have 5 boys , 3 whom are special needs asd. adhd 2 older ones and 2 yr old hypotonia and global delay.
Being honest we are finding it a struggle esp with our Ds2 he has the adhd but his behaviour has gotten worse, he in in middle of a meds change over but im scared he is going to hurt himself or others.
We have tried the 3 c's parenting courses told us aboutr choice, consiquence and constistancy, I ground him, take things off him and he now at the point nothing left to take off him and he just laughes at us , I locked the door and he unscrewed the lock, he cut his brothers ds charger with the nail clippers while he was playing it, he has little sence of danger and no apprecaition for others and there property,
please if can anybody got any suggestions can try , we have done star charts , and most things but he wont co operate and is putting himself in danger, also with having more than him ( toddler is very unsteady due to hypotonia) im putting the others in danger when leaving them ( we have already had 2 trips to a and e as toddler split his head open as fell while i was with ds2)to see to him and remove pictures of walls he is threatening to smash ect.
he is also violent and its tearing the family aprt, his 7yr old brother had a panic attack other night as was crying so hard as upset by him.
thanks if can help
hsl x

How old is he HS? Have you tried strattera, which I'm looking into for my autistic (and prob ADHD) DS. I am in awe that you can cope with 5 boys!!!!! Let alone with SEN on your plate too!

Hiya that's the new med just changed too strattera but it's made him worse,
He is 11 yrs
Thanks for replying
Hsl

Is there any punishment which works? Changing password on computer so he can't use it for a week? Maybe the strattera coudl take time to settle down and have its effect? I wash my son's hair every single time he shows any aggression (which he pretty much doesn't any more, as he hates hairwash) but I guess maybe your son is too old for anything like that? Is there anything aversive that could happen to him every single time he shows aggression to person or property ? So that he starts to realise that x behaviour always gets a bad result? Just thinking aloud really, but perhaps you have tried all that and it's the meds you have to hope will work. You have such a hard path HSL!

No tried everything he robs us blind as robs food, we feed him but he eats everything, this morning he robbed all the packlunch food , 4 fruitshoots, 6 cake bars, pack chicken roll, 6 bags of crisps, 6 flap jack bars ,
Tonight I said no dessert as he was naughty threw a battery at his brothers head, so he robbed a doughnut off the baby, I sent him to his room and he's come down saying can't make him???
We rung social worker today who told us can do no more when we told her how he was,
just wish knew something that will work how to tell him off, even school say he's maliptitive and wants to rule the roost,
Thanks

Sounds like you need to sort out the meds urgently. Our DS2 has ADHD and was violent when he was very small but by the time he was 11 it was coming out as anxiety/ depression. We had a very rough patch when the meds just weren't strong enough and he threatened suicide.

I think you need to go back to your consultant immediately and tell them what you've told us. You shouldn't have to put up with this, and a change in meds is probably all you need.

sometimes they can even use prozac I think? I think elvis is right, that you need urgent help and if you cry on the phone to social services they sometimes act more quickly (I'm sure you feel like crying anyway, he sounds like he is being an absolute nightmare). Poor you. What happens if you lock him in his room (for your other DC's sake, and your own sanity!)?

smashed windows, pc thrown, he ransacks it,
i have to keep others safe though from him as violent

HIYA

OH MY GOD!!!

IT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE MY DS9YRD, EXACTLY, HE TOO IS VERY VIOLENT, EATS EVERYTHING IN SIGHT, I SPEND 10POUNDS A DAY ON JUST FOOD STUFFS FOR HIM IE MILKSHAKES CRISPS SWISSROLLS PACKS OF CHICEN ROLLS JUST LIKE YOU AS HE EATS IT STRAIGHT FROM THE PACK, I DONT MIND ABOUT THAT THOUGH AND TRUTH IS I ENCOURAGE HIM TO EAT MORE COS THE MEDS DO SUPRESS THE APPETITE ABIT SO IM GRATEFULL WHEN HE DO DECIDE TO EAT IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
GETTING BACK TO WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT THE VIOLENCE AND NO REGARD FOR HIS PROPERTY, OURS AND OTHER PEOPLES, SMASHING THE HOUSE UP, THE CANT MAKE ME ATTITUDE, MY BOY ALSO THREATENS TO RUN AWAY AND GOT A PACKED RUCKSACK IN HIS ROOM SO IM QUITE SCARED ABOUT THAT AND IF I GO TO TOUCH IT HE GOES MAD, HE HAS ALSO STARTED TO SCRATCH HIMSELF TILL HE BLEEDS AND THREATENS TO TELL SS THAT I DONE IT!!
IM A SINGLE PARENT, HIS DAD WALKED WHEN HE WAS 10MTHS AND AINT SEEN OR HEARD FROM HIM SINCE, THE B...... .
SO ITS REALLY HARD FOR ME AND IM PULLING MY HAIR OUT, I GOT THREE OLDER CHILDREN IN THEIR LATE TWENTYS BUT THEY GOT THEIR OWN LIVES AND FAMILYS AND TOO BUSY TO HELP ME.
YOUR LIFE WITH YOUR BOY SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE MINE BUT YOURS IS WORSE COS YOU GOT MORE YOUNG ONES THAN ME.
I TOO HAVE CRIED TO SS AND ALL THEY CAN DO THEY SAID IS SEND HIM AWAY SOMEWHERE SO I CAN HAVE SOME RESPITE, I CERTANLY DONT WAQNT THAT AND BESIDES IT WOULD BE RUNNING AWAY FROM THE PROBLEM AND NOT SOLVING IT IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
I, LIKE YOU AM AT MY WITH END, I HAVE NO 'HOME' AS ITS SMASHED TO BIT, MY FRIEND SAID IT LOOKS LIKE A SQUAT, BUT I CANT AFFORD TO REPLACE STUFF FOR IT TO BE BROKE UP AGAIN.
I DONT KNOW WHAT PEOPLE LIKE US ARE GOING TO DO BUT I HAVE VISIONS OF MY SONT BEING AN ASBO CHILD COS OF HOW HE IS AND IM SO SCARED.
IM SO SORRY TO GO ON BUT I WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT YOUR NOT THE ONLY ONE AND IF I FIND ANYTHING ELSE OUT THEN I'L LET YOU KNOW.
ALL THE BEST
JULIA XX

DS is 9 and also ASD/ADHD.

he is very much as you both describe. He is very quick to reach aggression and can be violant and destructive.

Thankfully i am very firm with him and will send to his room, remove priveledges etc.

When he is sent to his room and he tells you that you can't make him you need to show him that actually, yes you can.

Take him firmly by the arm and plce him in his room. Each and every time he comes out, put him back. Exactly the same as the naughty step process with a younger child. don't talk or engage in conversation.

The adhd makes them act impulsivly and sometimes they will lash out without even realising, but they are capable of learning and at least attempting to control the impusles.

IF you resign yourself to having no control over him then he really will just do as he pleases.

It is hard work but please don't writte these boys off.