Parents evening tomorrow - could do with some suggestions

[debs40]

Hi

I've posted a few times recently about DS who is 6 and is undergoing assessment for possible AS.

He has a parents eve on Monday and I'm wanting to find out whether there is a concrete plan for helping him with some issues next year.

He is bright and doing fine at school although his hypotonia/hypermobility make writing difficult. But it is on an emotional level that I am most concerned.

He does get stressed out about PE, getting changed, being first, change to routines, getting things wrong, smells, clothes (particularly shoes).

He has friends. But he can never seem to understand what it is to 'like' someone. I suppose like many children, friends are just people he plays with.

He also doesn't understand that he doesn't have to play with anyone if he doesn't want to. I mention this as my previous posts have mentioned a boy who has been winding him up to get him into trouble and I've advised him to stay clear. But he doesn't seem to know how and so he plays with people who clearly are not actually very nice to him.

His teachers have picked up on some of this. He got into trouble twice last week for lashing out when being teased/grabbed. He got a red card and missed his free time.

I understand this but I don't see it as a long term solution and think he needs help to try and make him feel able to recognise signs of escalating anger and tell the teacher and to feel able to play with whomever he wants.

Can this sort of thing be put into a plan of some sort?

This could be incorporated into his IEP, but it would be pretty hard for the school to monitor/manage without 1-1 support for him.

It might be more useful to look outside the school - are you seeing a paediatrician? Or an Ed Psych? Ask them if they have anything in the area for helping AS children with social skills. DS2 was recommended one - we didn't go in the end, but these groups/workshops do exist.

Thanks. We have seen the paed and are awaiting OT and SALT and a referral to CAMHS but I've been told that these things can take 6-12ms at least so I'm wondering what can be done in the meantime. The school only get their info from me and there has been no formal meeting of any sort.

Be persistent - in the past I've rung OT/SALT depts on a weekly basis to chase appointments. I have lost any sense of shame . And make sure the school SENCo has copies of any letters/paperwork you recieve from elsewhere - I just photocopy everything and pass it to the school, so there can never be any "we weren't aware" stuff.

Hassled, when you had the SALT appointment were you there? The SALT dept told me they assess him in school and I wonder whether I am there or they do this on their own?

By the time DS3 was 6, yes, SALT appointments were at school, and a couple of times I wasn't even aware they were coming. This is where general pushiness comes into it - either get a date from the SALTS, or get the SENCo at school to let you know when they're coming and ask if you can be present (there's no reason why you can't be). Sometimes the school secretary knows the SALT visit dates before the SENCo. I know they often don't give the schools much warning, though.

Hi Debs

Re your comment:-

"He has a parents eve on Monday and I'm wanting to find out whether there is a concrete plan for helping him with some issues next year".

I can tell you now there won't be - short of a Statement being in place for him. Any support short of a Statement is without much substance and is also not legally binding.

Debs - would seriously consider applying for a Statement from the LEA and make the request yourself asap. Know you probably don't want to do this but its a concrete way forward here; you'll be going around in circles otherwise. The most useful things you can do now are to apply for a Statement and to get the school to get the EP in to see your son.

Does your DS actually have an IEP?. Will the school be willing to do social stories for him; that could be incorporated into it. How aware as a school are they about ASD?. Actually this school seem woefully inadequate on many levels, no formal meeting to date between school and you is not on in my view.

You should be seeing the SALT to discuss her findings as and when she visits school after she has observed your DS.

Was wondering why the referral to CAMHS; ASD is not necessarily their specialty.

You're going to have to be assertive here for your son Debs because no-one else will be.

Thanks. I am happy to ask for what I need to but I feel very confused.

I feel that DS has ASD problems (probably AS) and the paeds can see this but we're a long way off from any diagnosis. In many ways, his social skills and confidence are fine and he's doing ok academically, so, without any sort of 'official' diagnosis, I can quite understand that this has been left by the school who are just dealing with issues as they confront them.

However, I think the social skill issue will become more pronounced as he gets older as he is already starting to look naive compared to others.

I was confused about CAMHS too but they seem to be part of the diagnostic package here under a multi-disciplinary assessment. I have been told that they will help with some of the problems I've been outlining. I have searched on websites and CAMHS do seem to have some brief in connection with AS issues.

Is it not usual for CAMHS to be involved?