I had such a shocking experience with my GP today that I am making a formal complaint. I know some of you who read my Insensitive GP thread here will say `you should have done this earlier', but no excuses....I just didn't feel robust enough to complain 6 months ago. Well I'm bl**dy well robust enough now and he's not getting off the hook .
Please see the letter of complaint I have written below - it is long - I warn you! It speaks for itself! It is sitting by the front door waiting to be delivered by hand tomorrow, but if there is anything anyone can suggest that I add or take out, please feel free - the better the letter the more chance I feel of making my point. So here goes....
Dear Madam
COMPLAINT ABOUT DR X
I had a consultation with Dr X this morning, regarding my son ds2, and I would like to complain, in the strongest terms possible, about the nature of that consultation.
My son ds2 has developmental delay ? he is 20 months old, but with very little expressive or receptive language skills.
Dr X asked me why I had brought ds2 along to the surgery ? I explained that I felt he was in pain of some sorts (he had had a couple of fretful nights), and that I suspected he had an ear infection, but that it was very difficult to know, because of ds2's communication problems.
? Dr X said that he could see that Matthew was developmentally delayed from the `Team Around The Child? letters in ds2's notes. He said it in a very dismissive, sarcastic and undermining way ? he gave the impression that the TATC was a complete waste of time and a very grandiose title for what it actually is. I was shocked at Dr X lack of regard for what I perceive to be a useful service and told him that, actually, I feel that the TATC is a very good idea. He seemed to show no understanding for the difficulties that are faced by parents of children with complex special needs.
? Once Dr X had established that ds2 did in fact have an ear infection (in both ears) ? I expressed my surprise at the extent of the infection and said that whilst I felt that he was on the verge of an ear infection, I hadn?t realized quite how raging it was. I couldn?t believe my ears when Dr X mumbled something along the lines of `well, its probably a case of no/little brain, no pain.? At this stage I was completely stunned. He spoke to me like a medical student not the loving mother of a very special little chap. He was completely callous.
? Dr X then went on to ask me what the experts felt was the cause of ds2's delay. I replied, that no-one really knows at this stage, but that all the relevant tests are being done and that ds2 has a paternal aunt who has learning difficulties so perhaps there might be some genetic connection. At that point Dr X asked me whether I had ever heard of the term FLK? ? a term that doctors used to use a fair bit, but which had fallen out of fashion. I said, that I don?t think I had. He went on to explain that FLK? means Funny Looking Kid? and was used when medics felt that something was not quite right, but was without diagnosis. He then went on to say that ds2 was obviously a FLK?, but that he is still rather sweet and that with any luck he might turn out as well as his aunt! At that point he handed me my prescription for ds2.
On leaving Dr X consulting room I was upset, but was in a state of shock. The full extent of what Dr X had said to me didn?t hit me until I began to drive to the Pharmacy ? I had to stop driving as I was very distressed. I decided to return to the surgery to lodge a complaint. Does this man have any understanding of what it might be like to discover that your child is not neurologically typical and how difficult it is to hold your life and the life of your family together ? apparently not!
Life is difficult enough when you have a child that doesn?t fit the normal parameters, without your GP making matters worse. I didn?t receive any words of encouragement this morning ? not that I was looking for any ? but I left the surgery emotionally fragile. Without exaggeration, if Dr X had said these words to me seven/eight months ago when I was feeling very low indeed, these words might have sent me over the edge.
If I were to be generous to Dr X ? I might describe him as having lack of insight or an atrocious bedside manner. However, this man has said thoughtless things to me before about Matthew, but I was generous with him then and I will not suffer repeatedly at the hands of this insensitive buffoon. I wonder whether Dr X has a ic streak ? for search though I might, I cannot find any justification for his talking to me the way he did this morning.
I returned to the surgery, determined that I would let my feelings known about this man (NO-ONE should have to put up with such treatment. I do not want anyone to have to deal with such cruel insensitivity again).
I feel very sorry that Dr Y had to take time out from her busy schedule to have to comfort me and apologize that I had found the consultation distressing. What a complete waste of NHS resources!
Please make it known that I do not wish to be seen by Dr X again, nor will I have him treat my children again. He has strated qualities today that I find abhorrent in a GP ? he is unfeeling and callous.
I have not had an opportunity to discuss this matter with my husband, so I cannot speak for him, but we may well want to take this complaint further when we have a chance to talk about it.
I look forward to hearing from you about what action you propose to take.
Yours sincerely
Merlot
If you have got to the end of all that - thank you!!
I was a gibbering wreck this morning, but I feel so much better for having gone and complained and for having written this letter. We have since decided to also take the complaint higher.
Lou33 - Is your local surgery at Milford? and is your health visitor B (she is a real sweetie) and if by swapping surgeries I would also get access to her, it would be worth it alone