Hi there,
DS1 (5) has been being assessed for special needs for the past year. So far the Paed cites a global developmental delay and he's got on the SN register at school. Lots of the difficulties he experiences seem to be similar to those with ASDs, eg, finds it very difficult to interact with peers, receptive language difficulties, becomes anxious at changes in routine, has sensory issues, etc. We've got his (disco?) assessment coming up in August. Gotta love that acromym . I lurked on here loads and have always found the experiences you all share to be really helpful.
Thing is, I don't really think he's 'extreme enough' to get a diagnosis judging from sort of things the Paed has been saying. And his Dad and me are fine with that... we feel that as long as he's getting the support and understanding he needs (his school have been brilliant so far) then all's as well as it can be.
But the ongoing issue I'm experiencing as his mum is the isolation. Whenever we're anywhere with other mums and their children it's becoming more and more apparent the older he gets that he's just a bit weird eccentric. He talks in a weird baby voice half the time (especially if I'm trying to talk to anyone), licks strange things, spins things for long stretches of time, needs reminding to not put his hands down his trousers in public, talks suddenly to unsuspecting grown-ups about garden power tools, etc. All pretty harmless to me, I'm more than happy to accept his quirks but I'm a bit of a sensitive soul myself and find others' reactions to him quite hurtful.
Nobody's said anything too horrible but it's the looks and the more blatant reactions of other children and fact that I always have to break away from any conversations anyway... just leaves me feeling We were at a party this afternoon and it was the same old story. Being in reception, he has been invited to lots of parties (I always feel quite happy at this inclusion), which I used to avoid for his sake (he found them quite stressful) but more recently have started to go to as he's come round to the idea, understands about celebrating people's birthdays and always says he wants to go (I suspect mainly because he's cottoned on the likelihood that there'll be sweets involved!). But generally I've gone along with DSs indifference to playdates/parties etc. and gone along with the more solitary types of things he prefers to do at weekends and after school. He just seems so much more relaxed and happier this way.
As a result I've spent much of the past school year feeling a bit sad and lonely that I haven't got to know many of the other mums yet because we're relatively new to this area so I would like to make some more friends. But it seems that any activity which would enable this to happen is deeply incompatible with how present and accepting DS needs me to be as a mother. There feels to be a horrible conflict of needs between me wanting to 'fit in' get to know people, make friends, become part of a community but my lovely DS not being the 'fitting in' kind.
Just don't know how to help myself become less isolated... do any of you wise, lovely people have any similar experiences which might resonate?