dd2 is 2.5, and (we think) NT.
she hit 2 with a bang, and (literally on her birthday) started having huge control freakery tantrums.
we thought she was just being 2, and still do thik that mostly. she does have a few ASD traits, but we are not massively worried atm.
anyway, she has got into the habit of creating issues for a tantrum - where she will ask for something, then when it is given refuse it, then screamm over not having it, but when brought back scream over not wanting it, etc.
eg when at lunch, after main meal the dds get fruit. today, dd1 asked for banana, so I went to get one. dd2 says (quite nicely, but with a bit of an edge) "no banana for dd2" so I didn't giver her any (having acknowledged what she said)
she started screaming for banana, as thoguh I had not let her have one.
stifling my sighs, I went to get her one. as soon as she saw it, she went ballistic, screaming "no banana!".
I take it away, she screams for it.
and so on.
what should I do? this doesn't just happen for food, it can be for anything.
last night she set up the most awful nopise after they went to bed because she wanted a toy car. no big deal (what do I care if she wants a car in her cot?), I gave it to ehr (I currently have to wait outside the dds room until they are asleep as dd1 having sleep issues). she screamed because it was there, setting dd1 off as dd1 having noise sensitivity issues atm.
2 hours later I finally calmed them both down (well, actually, dh came home and they shut up as soon as they saw him ).
the car issue (as in whether dd2 wanted the damn thing in the first place) was never solved.
I am guilty of being more lenient with dd2 than dd1 (partly second child, partly if dd2 has a tantrum then dd1 joins in, and on the whole that is best avoided) but usually in minor things.
this level of control freak 2 year old, where I can't do right for doing wrong, is really wearing me out.