Hi Miscutandstick
I've had a few battles with my LEA over the years re Statementing so have some experience of 'the system'
If they've refused to assess then you have the right to appeal to SENDIST however, the first step should be to try to get the LEA to overturn that decision.
Lodge an appeal with SENDIST immeditely - the clock is now ticking for your timelimit to appeal. Lodging the appeal doesn't stop you talkig to the LEA - in fcat SENDIST expect you and the LEA to try to find an agreement prior to Tribunla.
Write to the LEA stating that you disagree with their decision, that you have lodged an apeal with SENDIST, but that you would welcome the opportunity to meet them to discuss it.
you should have a named Case Officer within the LEA. that is the person who is legally accountable for the decision - not the @panel' that LEAs like to try to hide behind or the Director of Education etc - it's the Case Officer whose feet you need to hold to the fire.
Collect as much info as you can to build your evidence (as you are doing).
Mps are generally sueless - this is a clearly defined legal process and no MP can circumvent the law - LEAs know this so can cheerfully disregard any MPs interventions.
In fact your Local councilloor is a much better advocate as education is an issue that has been devolved to councils over which Councillors (not MPs) DO have sway.
get a copy of the SEN COP and understand the whole process.
On the IPSEA website is an information pack that leads you through the appeals process step by step - encourages you to ask quaestions to your school about SEN funding etc for use as evidence should it get to Tribunal.
KEEP A DIARY - cannot over-emphasis that one. Who said what to you, when etc. You can be sure the LEA will be keeping their own diary for evidence. Record the incidents such as being to that the woman who allocates funding is absent so funding has not yet been devolved to schools - again power stuff at Tribunal.
You asked why none of the 'professionals' seemed to want to help - the reason is that most are actually employed by the LEA, such as teachers, Ed Pysch etc. they won't upset the apple barrel for fear of reprisals.. the Health professionals won't bend over to help you either as if they did the LEA could state that the eductaional support required was partly on health grounds and expect the NHS to partly fund specialist provision - so the NHS professionals don't want to shaft their employers for additional costs either!
You may think I'm cynical but a dose of healthy cynacism will help you a lot - you will not believe the underhand tactics these B&* use against parents.
But the best news is that if you read the SENDIST decisions you'll find that they usually order LEAs to assess - after all what SENDIST wants to take the risk that SENs may exist but not be formally identified. It doesn't cost the LEA much to assess and they can always skew the results to their benefit and refuse a Statement at the next stage anyway. A lot of LEAs will cave in under the pressure (cost) and overturn their decsion not to assess just to save the time & cost of turning up at SENDIST.
I forced my LEA into issuing a Statement and then took the b*s to the Ombudsman, won my case and sued the LEA.
You can do it
P.S. Staying really really angry gives you the energy to nail the sods
Best wishes