any happy stories about school and SN children?

[DontLookDown]

Ds is nearly 3 and I'm pretty sure he has SPD inc. dyspraxia although he's yet to be diagnosed. Have bought "out-of-sync child" and am finding he's already happier. I'm struggling with all the stuff that this is bringing up for me - have struggled all my life with low self-confidence/self-esteem due to undiagnosed dyspraxia and other problems and I identified so strongly with some of the stories in the book. Actually I've overcome a lot of my problems - but it's the knock-on effects of the dysfunctional strategies and the rotten relationships that happened later that I'm still struggling with, IYSWIM.

With CBT I'm loads better, but I can't seem to disentangle my stuff from my fears for my son and I don't want my anxieties to communicate to him. DH has his own demons and we have different ways of handling the problem - he doesn't want to think about it yet and I'm wanting to get a move on with diagnosis, treatment etc.

I need to hear some positive stories about SN children who are making good progress, enjoying their friendships, enjoying school etc. to boost me and help remind me that what happened to me needn't be the story for my own beloved LO. Please help me so I can be calm and relaxed and hopefully communicate that acceptance to ds.

sorry for ramble thanks for listening!

I am going through the same process of having to tell myself not to expect history to repeat itself.

In my case, it's my dd who had a really rotten time at her junior school and ds, who has recently been diagnosed with the same disorder, is at the same junior school- and to add to my fears, he hasn't got her giftedness to get him through but struggles with non-SN related issues too.

However, in the meantime the school has changed management and it is just a totally different experience. They are so keen to help, they really want to know more, they keep suggesting things (that don't involve booting him out). So history is not about to repeat itself.

OK - two positive stories for you.

DS1(8) isn't diagnosed but probably has dyspraxia. He did struggle a bit at school in the early years and still has problems with handwriting, but is basically doing very well. Adults love him, and although he was on the edges of social groups to start, he now has a firm group of good friends. He's a happy, confident boy. Things that have helped him hugely are trampolining and karate - and we've also encouraged his interests in things like Pokemon and Bionicles, which has given him common interests with his peers.

DS2 (6) is autistic, with severe learning difficulties and speech delay. He is at the same (fantastic) m/s school as his brother and is fully integrated in the class (but with full time 1:1 help and personalised schemes of work). He runs happily into school each morning and has a lovely group of friends who are absolutely great with him. This week he got up on stage without his TA and did Irish dancing with the rest of his class in front of 200 parents

I know exactly what you mean about projecting your own anxieties onto your child - I was bullied at primary school and react very quickly to any possibility that DS1 is being left out or teased. I think the fact that you are aware of it will probably mean that you won't do it.

sphil thanks SO much for that - it was just what I needed to hear. And WOW about your DS2 - I can't do Irish dancing for the life of me

cory loads of sympathy for you, it's harsh having your second child diagnosed with the same condition and if your first experience was bad you're bound to worry. But if the school are wanting to help this time and above all wanting to LISTEN to you it is going to be completely different. I'm feeling so much more confident now I've found a nursery for ds which seems to be actively inviting parental feedback and involvement instead of just going "yeah, yeah".

I suppose the main thing is not to cross bridges before we get to them, children and situations can change so much and worrying about the future takes away from the time we have with our children in the present.

repeating after herself "ds is not me, ds is not me..."

Finding the right school is key - the nursery sounds fab! I have so much involvement with school (with DS2 mainly) - we share resources and their communication and openness are brilliant.

And it was quite approximate Irish dancing...

dd goes to a wonderful sn school(she has severe CP) she has lots of frieds and every one knows her. the school has a community feel to it and is warm and welcomoing.
work wise she has done more than I ever expected she would.

Good stories here too. DS been to SN school since he started, now nearly 8 and described as 'superstar' by his teacher last week.

They have worked hard to accommodate his SPD probs and developed strategies that have enabled him to feel more in control of his environment, so calmer and able to learn.

They are letting his strengths shine (He can read like an adult and his love of documentaries means he's practically and engineer) while shifting him on with what he finds really hard (Writing, concentrating, moving about without falling). He has come so far, has good relationships with staff and although he always asks if it is school day in the hope that it won't be they tell me he is happy when he is there.

It means so much to me to hear these positive stories - did anyone see the documentary on Tourette's which was repeated recently? - I thought both the guys were lovely and it brought tears to my eyes to hear of the first man's experiences of school but I was SO glad to see that the young lad was having an altogether better time of it. Such a difference knowledge/understanding in school/wider public makes.

sphil yes the nursery is brilliant and I'm still thrilled that I found it even if it is a half hour walk (I can't drive, that's another story [sigh])We've been for play sessions and I could have been in Timbuktu for all the notice ds took of me once he got inside

LOL about the "approximate Irish dancing" - I was not exactly the star of my dance class according to my mother as I tended to drift off into a corner and twirl around to a completely imaginary tune. I thought I was a beautiful ballerina, but apparently my dance teacher saw it differently

But I would be SO PROUD to see ds taking part in a group activity at school - atm the fact that everybody else is doing something is a prime reason to have nothing to do with it. He's made loads of progress though at the Children's Centre - will now sit in the middle of a circle instead of running in the opposite direction and he joined in the musical instrument bashing instead of freaking out (even if he didn't quite understand why his musical instrument of choice couldn't be the CD-player...)

At your son's age DS2 would have been exactly the same It's only since school that he has taken any notice of other children - and it has also helped him to accept direction and cope with noise, bustle etc. more

My dd1 has down syndrome and for the last two years has attended a mainstream junior(primary) school here in Aus. She loves it and is making great progress. Her teacher really believes in and walks the walk (iykwim) with regards to inclusion. Dd1 is learning, she is engaged, she has friends and loves going to school. In fact she would attend every day if she could. She is well liked and accepted. TBH - the children accept dd1 differences and all. In fact the differences are that big a deal with them - more so for their parents than for them. Dd1 does not have full time 1:1 aide time BUT she does some intensive time with sn in terms of fine and gross motor programs. We are so happy with the school she is at.

DS is 6 with ASD and in mainstream with 1:1 support. We had a review meeting last week, and was delighted to be told about his improving social interaction, especially with one girl with whom they have said he is forming a mutual and real friendship. The SENCO described him as an asset to the school, and told me how the other kids respond to him really positively. So good to hear when a year ago he wouldn't enter a classroom and told me other children scared him.

dd2 is 5 with cerebral palsy and just finishing yr r of mainstream. she has had a total ball.
(lol at 'approximate irish dancing' - dd2 does 'approximate' ballet, which she adores)

we are moving in three weeks and she will be going to a new school, but already the teaching staff there seem to have made every effort to prepare and welcome her.

success in school is all about parental communication and getting them on side. it helps if you first ask them for help and appeal to their professionalism, and then get bossy build a partnership

dd is 7. she has CF, epilepsy, speech and language, mild learning difficulties and dyspraxia. she is at mainstream and is totally included. she loves school, has a best friend and generally is well supported at school. At a recent parents evening, her new teacher spoke to me for ages about her plans for dd's inclusion and how she is going to be able to accessthe curriulum. she sings in the shows and is proudof her work and her school.

I can't speak hjghly enough of her small friendly school.

Well, it's not really school, although I was mainstream educated- with very few issues (the main one was horrific bullying but that wasn't related to my visual impairment), but I got through that, got through college no problem and have just finished my first year of university. I think for me, with my impairment, the school had to listen to me, rather than pressing on regardless, and most of the time they did.