I need your collective brain power - is there anywhere I can throw myself on their mercy and get a private DX

[hereidrawtheline]

here I am moaning again. I am desperate and really can not do this anymore. It is intolerable at the moment. I cant just wait on the mercy of the NHS anymore I feel like our lives are being ruined. We dont have any money. Is there anything, anything at all I can do to take DS to an expert and get him properly assessed and diagnosed. My nerves are totally shot, DS is miserable, he has gone from one screaming hitting throwing episode to another. He is just nowhere near manageable.

I need to know what is wrong with him. I really need to know. It is killing me. I just need to know. It may be ASD it may be something else but I need someone to just help us.

Is there anywhere I can go, anyone who can do this without being paid a fortune?

Elliot house in bromley is a national centre for social communication disorders. they trained our local paed consultant. Lorna Wing (high profile name in asd worl) used to have something to do with it. Google it and see if they will see you. If you are in essex, bromley os not far once you've come over the QE11 bridge

herei that sounds a lot like ds1, his was also a cocked up delivery- my BP was rising to 160 so the MW would send me to the cenytyral MW Unit by which time it would drop- they kept saying I was just anxious. The community MW also suspected a small baby but the lead MW saud no. AFter several weeks of this (5?) I taled myself out of yet another readmittance, went home to reast, took a phone call from my X saying he'd had a car crash (we'sd been split a year no idea why me) and started fitting; local MW sent me to lead unit, ambulance sirens etc..... they told dh they'd send me home had it not been 3am, scan next day no one would talk to me or release me, next day came from shower to find a note telling me ds1 had stopped growing a few days ago (at last scan had measured as about 6lbs) and would need to induce as emeregency... induction, ds1's heart stopping but no CS as another women hasd the same problems also no epidural for BP for same reason, ds1 born weighing 5lb 4oz and I am certain it didn't help to say the least- I once studied Psych and found that an area linked to aggression he dislpays is located close to the area for SPD and I truly believe somethiing happened at birth to start the aggression.

As for the not putting down thing- , ds4 is 15 months Monday and still never slept in a cot, won't settle anywhere but on me. I tried from day one when he was 2 hours old (HB) but nope, no chance.

Our experience with the BIBIC opeople was that our Paed was very enthusiastic about all the reams of apperwork BIBIC provided us with, and said it helped her diagnose, for a start they measure delays etc and that could fend off the attachment stuff!. My own perspective also is that whilst a DX is all well and good, what you need is to help your child and BIBIC can offer that.

let me know btw if you go there- Mum lives round the corner (we dont deliberately set up near centres LOL just luck!)

The free interview with them is non comiottal so worth a shot

Oh and think the way to approach this with your DH-

a dx offers you nothing other than a name. It can lead to you being able to approach other services but with ASD type disorders you will iofetn find that's it. We've had one dx for 3.5 years and another for a year and never received anything from the NHS, the LEA were forced into two statements. Our Aped is lovely the rest invisible.

BIBIC however offers ways of working with things- so that sausage roll trick with the duvet I suggested on teh otehr threa, ways around sensory isue.... they don't offer a cure but can help deal with lots of little things. I say little, our children in need funded palce saw ds3 get his first SALT and PECs and led to him talking.

If you speak t Karen there btw say Hi from the Peach family

Peachy I dont believe you I think you do set up around centres! But I will def let you know if we go it would be nice to possibly meet.

Just arranged our phone interview with BIBIC for Weds afternoon!!!!

HEREI, have you looked into weighed blankets? (sorry if you already have one) - just that you mention he likes the feeling of being held tight and that would definately be the sensation he would be getting from one. Again, not cheap - but SOOOOO many people on here swear by them.

think the clicky is: lots of people say this is a very trustworthy site, and its got some fabby info on it too hope it helps.

And BTW we too have been thru the turmoil of pre-dx, and it sucks. . I have 3 with SN and you'd think it got easier, but it doesnt . But seeking out help really is worth every ounce of effort - wether its books, 'research' (read netting!), talking to whoever can offer even one shred of hope, is worth it.

Good luck with BIBIC as well, ive only heard wonderful things in connection with them

thanks misscutandstick DS has a weighted blanket actually I started a mammoth thread about it ages ago when we bought it and he began sleeping, and the brother in law of the woman who makes them came on the thread too! It wasnt that site though it was another one. But I dont know how to wash it! No instructions came with it and I keep meaning to call them and ask or send them an email. I just spot clean it and hang it on the line when it needs to be freshened up as he cant be without it for a night!