AIBU to be slightly upset by this remark....?

[misscutandstick]

"well hes not daft tho is he?"

it was a surestart worker, after i explained that A) no actually it was unlikely he'd just pick up speech by being at nursery, as he already has 4 older brothers who talk to him endlessly, and if it was as easy as 'picking it up' he would have done it by now B) he is autistic and doesnt actually 'pick things up' at all, everything has to be a long hard slog of teaching him. and being left to his own devices he would do the same thing all day, never moving on or picking up something new by watching somebody else...

hence the woman saying "yeh, but hes not daft tho is he?"

I would have been less offended by "does he have learning difficulties?" perhaps im being oversensitive and she was trying to be positive in a really crappy way.

SO, AIBU?

probably not unreasonable, as even if she did it mean nicely, in a "yeah ok he's got problems but I think he's bright anyway" sort of way, she's failed to communicate that properly to you iyswim.

!!!!

daft?1? what the hell does THAT mean?

SHE'S daft.

YANBU, but I think it is hard for people to understand that a child can be intellgent, but struggle with every day things like language & acceptable behaviour. ASD (and my DD's brain condition) can give quite a 'spikey' profile, which is harder to accept than that of general learning difficulties, so I think cutting her a bit of slack would be kind

I think that's quite common, really - DS1 is pretty bright (about 2 years ahead in SOME things) but still in nappies at nearly 4 and the speech sounds of a much younger child (he's unintelligible out of context) although he has a big vocabulary. Because of this some of my family think he is "manipulating" us and don't think he has a SN at all. sigh Because he's "not stupid though, is he?"