At my wits end with DD - help appreciated

[lou031205]

DD is becoming more and more difficult. Preschool (where she has full 1:1) have also commented that this is the case.

She is displaying classic "terrible twos" behaviour, I think:

Screaming at the top of her voice and as high as she can manage if things don't go her way (even twisting her neck to increase the pitch)

Shouting, "No" to every request, refusing to comply with things, hitting, kicking, scratching.

But, she is 3.6. Now, I know she has GDD, so everything will be delayed. But the trouble is that I don't know what to do.

Naughty step is treated like a game, and she is delighted with it. Threats of sitting on the "Naughty step" are greeted with "Yes Please, 2 minutes!" and running to it. When she is put there, she just continually stands up, and laughs. Every time she is put back she repeats, until she is so hyper she is in hysterics of laughter, and still I can't get her to sit there unless I sit her on my knee, holding her down. It is no punishment.

She doesn't have sense of 'time' enough to do drawn out methods like star charts and reward after x amount, yet.

At preschool, they have been using stickers as an incentive, but lately she has been saying "No!" when they say "Do this and you can have a sticker".

At the moment the only place that I could do time out is her bedroom, but she then climbs on furniture etc, so it is dangerous. Supervising her timeout kind of negates the idea of it, because she then has me with her, which is what she wants. Also, I have DD2, 22mo, and DD3, 10 weeks.

I am considering getting a BabyDan room divider, attaching it to the wall in the lounge to cordon off a safe area, so I could put her in there, and she could see that DD2 and I were having fun, while she is in the 'zone'. Might give her a reason to want to come out of the 'zone', which might help to stop poor behaviour?

I don't want a miracle, but I have to stop the hitting, kicking scratching and screaming. She is getting bigger, and stronger, and it hurts.

Hi, I can't help but am curious what the others will say because my 2 years old dd, with GDD, laughs at my No, even when I use my big voice...

Hi, I have a friend whose DS has language delay and she found the best way of managing 'time out' was exactly the solution you suggest (had similar issues with toddler either laughing, running away etc, it just became a game when she tried time out and he didn't get the whole sticker thing).

The BabyDan is brilliant as you can set it up either as playpen or room divider, I think that sounds like a brilliant plan. That way you will be able to turn your back and completely ignore her but know she is safe IYSWIM.

Having used a BabyDan myself as a general playpen I would be tempted to set it up in playpen format rather than room divider, especially if your DD is quite strong. The BabyDans are excellent but if she was in a real rage she could potentially do damage to your walls by shaking etc and loosening the fixings. (My friend once tried timeout in their bathroom as was the room her DS would theoretically do least damage, he got in such a rage he picked up a soapdish and threw it at the sink with such strength that he cracked the sink ). So if I were you I'd get one, set it up as playpen with absolutely nothing in it and see how that goes.

Hope this helps.

Thanks for the reply, amberflower. Do you know if the BabyDans can be linked to make them bigger? Say 2 connected?