How much time do you spend doing 'therapy' at home?

[Wispabarsareback]

We waited ages for DD2 (now 21 months and developmentally delayed) to get assessed by physio, OT, SALT, etc, and I was so keen for her to start on these things, as I thought it would feel as if we were really doing something to help her make progress.

But perversely, I now feel a bit oppressed by all the different things we could/should be doing with her every day - especially physio, as she shows no inclination to move or bear weight and it's hard to motivate her. As she gets older and we get more 'used' to her being the way she is, I sometimes wonder if it would be better just to enjoy her, make her as happy as we can and adapt to her the way she is (while obviously taking opportunities when we can to encourage her to do all the things the therapists show us).

How much time do other people spend on the specific stuff the therapists suggest? Am I short-changing DD by not having a proper schedule of doing these things every day? Any thoughts on this idea of adapting rather than endlessly trying to get her to do things that she just doesn't seem inclined to do?

Perhaps it would help if we had a definite diagnosis of what's causing DD to be the way she is - then we might have a better idea of what to expect and what might really help her. Or maybe not. Tests, assessments, etc are still ongoing, and I cling to the hope that we will get a diagnosis - no matter how bad it is, I fear no diagnosis more than anything.

we tend to fit it in round everything else ds is my youngest of 4.we do salt work consistlenty 3 -4 times a day but everything else make part of normal everyday ife

he has gd hypertonia, hypermoblity

He is almost 4 now and was 2 1/2 before he would walk does still have few problems but can getround , we was not given set excersises to do buttook to soft play, swimming and ust gave him a smany chances as could to be on the floor

Difficult choice this - I used to do lots, pre- school, but I guess I just ran out of energy ( and drove myself into a nervous breakdown).

You can give yourself a huge guilt-trip over how much you should do, but in the end, it may make some difference, it may not.

By doing some it may help you to know you're helping her?

But now I realise that I have to make sure I'm not focussing on dd2 to the exclusion or detriment of the siblings.

So now I let school do the majority.

DD2 cannot walk, or talk and is tube-fed but can understand topical stuff and is very sociable.

And she's 7 today!

Hi, my dd2 has not yet got a dx, we are waiting for a dx of ASD, i do therapy with her at home but it really depends on her mood. I try and take every chance i get to interact/play with her, if she brings me a toy then i will sit on the floor and play with her using signing, PEC'S and copying her play.

Its a lot easier when dd1 is at school (out of the way), when dd1 is off school things go a bit to pot.

I spend around an hour a day trying to encourage dd2's speech (though play and pictures) and around an hour floor time.
Today she is ill so she's just watching cbeebies and sleeping.

DD2 (2 next week) has GDD and SPD but tests/scans are still ongoing to get a definate dx. I used to try and do loads to (as Riven said) 'cure' her and drove myself insane. I had the SALT/Portage/OT/Physio all saying to me "if you try and do this with her every day you'll see a big difference". Well a couple of times I actually did therapy with DD2 every minute of her waking hour and I still didn't get everything they wanted me to do done.

I also have a 4 yr old so it's quite hard to fit it all in. I've now calmed down a bit and do roughly an hour or possibly 2 every day, but I figured going to classes and socialising was also very important for her.

I don't know if the guilt ever goes as no matter how much I do, I still feel it's never enough and I'm constantly failing her.

Try not to beat yourself up about it xx

tbh I have felt guilty over the years.
DS2 had physio from birth, luckily we had a very realistic & practical physio who said the best therapy is play, just enjoy your baby, play & tickles, don't wrap him in cotton wall but most of all they should never realise they are having therapy, its got to be fun.
If either you or your dc are finding it a chore then give yourself a break.

Family life is more important than therapy & if you can work a way to build the therapy in to every day life then even better.
Remember to look after yourself first.

We were told that the best 'therapy' is to give DD lots of opportunities in everyday play. No specific 'tasks'.

We do do a massage program with her (was meant to be brushing but she got overexcited by it )

I sympathise.
When all the therapy stuff started for DS, all I could imagine was not doing it, and just being his Mum. Then I'd feel guilty .
But I soon realised (with a kick up the arse from a few on here ) that 'Mum' or 'Parent' time is just as important.

We religiously do his stretches every morning after bath. Can't honestly say it's made any difference.
We do his light therapy at about 7pm, some days . There just is no point if he's not in the mood, we all end up frustrated.

DS has been unwell for sometime with a horrid chest infection, so we have been totally lax on all therapies. BUT during this time, he is weight bearing consistantly, has learned to roll over on to his tum (but not back again) and has started showing an interest in holding his bottle for the first time .

He is almost 1 now, and tho I would love to think that all our religiously scheduled therapies and stretching have started to pay off, I honestly believe that he is just ready now.

He will do whatever he can, whenever he can. Of course we will try to help him along the way, having found lots of ways to build things in to his playtime (very easy with DS as he is easily pleased), but not to the point where it is a chore.

I still feel guilty at times but remind myself that we are his parents most of all.
Being the doctor/nurse/physio/light therapist/advocate/general organiser/stroppy fighter for all things he's entitled to and needs, as important as it is, should not come before my role as his Mum.

Don't beat yourself up x

we did portage
salt and sonrise program and now we do lots of play interaction and extension of sonrise but less formalised its working for us along side biomedical treatment
but we go outt for osteopathy homeopathy and music therapy