Any ideas on why ds2 is doing this, and how to try stop it?

[5inthebed]

DS2 has developed some sort of dominating behaviour around small toddlers. He is a tall 3.8 so towers over most kids his age.

Last week we had a little tea party after school for ds1's birthday and a friend brought her 3 kids with her. He would not leave her 2 year old alone at all. COmpletely hounded him, took all the toys off him he was playing with, kept saying no no no to him, tried to lift him up by his neck a few times, and generally just not leaving the poor boy alone. Luckily my friend is ok with his behaviour so stayed for the party, although I was constantly trying to stop him doing this.

Today we went to a park where there was a little girl, probably about 2ish, but quite small. He wouldn't let her on the slides, kept saying no no no to her, kept trying to move her away from any park equiptment. Her mother was nowhere in sight and she didn't cry, but I was very uncomfortable with his behaviour.

Does anyone elses DC's do this and does anyone know what I can do to help deal with it? I don't want DS2 to be like this when DS3 starts toddling around.

He sounds like he is in his own way trying to 'protect' the smaller children?

I may be (and probably am) completely wrong but a thought.

how old is ds3?

have you been taking a few things of him recently, and saying no to him?

woudl ds2 have got the idea that children smaller than him shouldn't have things, maybe shouldn't go on slides etc because they might get hurt?

dd1 did a bit of that when dd2 started getting interested in stuff - partly because I'd told dd2 "no" before, for her own safety, and partly through sibling rivalry/wanting the thing that dd2 had.

He is 3, 4 in August.

As for taking things off him, no more than usual.

I did think it was sort of a protective thing rather than a nasty thing, but still, it is not nice for the other child, and if it continues will mean I will have to avoid places with smaller kids.

So maybe it's just a phase?

How is he about rules. Ds is still going through this (but has improved) and the problem was that he is black and white with rules ie there are NO if or buts if a rule has to apply some of the time it has to apply ALL of the time. The problem with that is that he didn't understand that his rules weren't those of other people and stuggles to cope with this to the point of inforcing his rules onto other people. He also thinks as he is bigger that he is responsible of the other individuals behaviour (not sure how came to this conclusion) but the combination has caused some VERY embarishing moments.

He will improve but he might need some explaining/telling that he can't make the rules for others

My DS does the same to DS2, his 3 year old brother. He is copying adult behaviour (in his eyes), and it comes from the perception that his brother is too young/little to do things. I have explained that as DS2 gets bigger he can do things that he couldn't do when he was younger. He has been told that only adults reprimand other children as we had a tricky episode where he told 10 year olds off for walking up the slide - he was 5 at the time . This has helped as it is a black and white rule.