New here and worried about my ds (possible ASD)!!!

[mysonben]

Hi, this is my first post on the forum. My ds who is 3 and 1/2 has a significant speech delay and is currently seing a speech therapist, following some concerns with some 'odd' behaviors at home and some difficulties socialising at nursery (he used to play alone with the cars and the trains 95% of the time) but some improvements in the last few months, he has been refered to a paediatrician who mentioned ASD but on the 'mild side'!!! We are now in limbo waiting for the next review in october to decide whether he needs an autistic assesment. This is very stressful as we were sent on our way without any guidance only the web addy of the NAS to look up for info.
Cheers!!!
Since the bombshell was dropped 6 weeks ago , i am frantic looking for 'clues' as to whether my son has PDD-NOS ( the most likely of the ASD) or not. It is very difficult for me at the moment, i can see some obvious signs or 'symptoms' on a daily basis , but my son is also quite affectionate, and will enjoy some joint attention with close adults . At first we thought he might not hear properly ( but he 's had 2 hearing tests and it's ok) because he ignored people talking to him quite a lot, but now he has improved and does respond very well sometimes not straight away but he shows good responsiveness generally. The trouble is he doesn't talk much or tries to expand on conversations outside his interests (cars, trains, books and puzzles about cars, his dvds, or noises such as ambulance sirens or car alarm or plane noises,...)He does however give short answers to questions and points to things a great deal (before he didn't we had to ask him to or he used to use our own hand to gesture towards what he wanted).
Well i could go on forever more ... so i'll stop now. ANYONE in the same situation ? I am a bit lost and don't know what to think anymore.

Welcome to the board mysonben You have already been given some great advice on here already.

My DS2 was dx with autism when he was 2.6. He was non verbal, spent hours opening and closing things, had meltdowns over the slightest thing and had little quirky obsessions like spinning and switches.

He now ttends a SN nursery 5 mornings a week and MS nursery 3 days a week. His progress has been fantastic verbally wise. He can now speak 4-5 word sentences and can follow simple 2-3 word commands.

He has really come on in the past year. But I don't just put it down to the fact he is in a Sn school. I also put it down to the fact that now we know he has ASD, we know how to deal with him better. You can't treat him like an NT child, punishments just don't work, trying to reason with him doesn't work and speaking too many words doesn't help. A lot of it is trial and error. What works better when he is behaving in a certain way?What things set him off so are best avoided?

I hope you get more help with your appointment in October.

Hi mysonben and welcome, I have ds1 who sounds fairly similar to yours (even down to the name!) and is 3.9. He has a language delay and some receptive language issues and is probably language disordered or mildly on the spectrum. We've been going through the Is he, isn't he cycle for ages now. I've learned to live with it and bury it to some extent to preserve my sanity.

ds copes really well at mainstream nursery and preschool but definitely has his quirks and has very immature interaction with other children. He'll play basic games with them but because of his language it's mainly action and sports games that he feels comfortable with. He can't negotiate very well yet and will fling himself to the floor and howl fairly regularly at the moment!

We're lucky in that we can reason with ds, he hasn't got any rituals or obsessions (although he likes his trains at the moment!) and he is fairly flexible and a happy little soul. The professionals don't seem too concerned but there are times when I compare him to a typical 3yr old and my heart sinks a bit.

Look forward to chatting with you more.

Reducefatkettlechip- I totally feel that way too, there are some days when i see him doing very appropriate things for his age and i'm sooo happy , i allow myself to 'forget' about his quirky behaviors , his late speech and his aloofness with strangers. Then he will have some days where he shows more 'autistic' behaviors and reality slaps me in the face.
Such as a couple of weeks ago , i went to spend a few hours at his nursery, and i could see how the other kids were talking (i was amazed almost) ,how they played together , and how ds was different to them, even when i could see he was trying hard to 'fit in' if i may say. For ex: he was the only child that didn't sit properly on the carpet ( at registration time) or that he couldn't answer the simple questions the teacher asked him, whislt all the other kids could and tried speaking for him. I left heartbroken.
My ds is also quite flexible in general , he only has a few routines, but he will get upset if we try to break his way of doing certain things (like the toilet thing at the mo)
Nice meeting you all on MN

Welcome to the SN board.

My ds1 was about the same age as your ds when he was diagnosed with ASD. The following year we were told his younger brother has AS.

Ds1 is now nearly 9 and it seems like a lifetime ago since I went through the is he/isn't he stage but I'll gladly help out if I can.

Hi mysonben

Our son sounds really similar to yours, hes 3.4 and we're also in the system of the professionals at the moment we've been told nothing about diagnosis only that he has developmental delays on speech and behaviour, I'm currently convincing myself that it is just a delay and that he will hopefully catch up - he has some odd behaviours and much rather prefers adult company and will try to avoid contact with other children, though he gets on really well with his younger brother and plays with him typical boy climbing trashing house games!! no obbsessions or rituals, very affectionate gorgeous boy, good days at the moment but yes sometimes on a bad day I find myself wondering.
This forum is such a help just knowing that there are other children similar to our own gorgeous boy and the advice checking out the eye q thank you!

if we can help than do just ask my ds was exactly the same as your ds at his age and to be honest it wasn't that long a go my ds is now just 4 and the last 6 mths have been huge we had bad sleep issues that set him back along way but once melatonin was given

amazing his a different boy he can now answer questions and has recently started asking questions i cried i never thought id see the day

i find every 3 mths his development comes along so much further admittedly there's still alot of teaching in between but then with autism all behavior is mainly learnt behavior so i'm told and seems so with my ds

your doing a great job dont compare to other children if you stand back and watch your child they are so happy and unaware i take happiness in that as i know the pain i feel he doesnt his just happy doing what his doing

and now we have conversation ask questions he doesnt stop lol i always said if i reached this day id love it on same days you can hear me silently oh goodness stop with the questions lol secretly im pleased his come so far in last yr from non verbal to proper chatter box

Firstly NOVACANE OMG!! I literally am sat here laughing so hard as I thought my DS was the only one who did that!! Cillit Bang, harpic & vanish are his faves too!! The adverts must really appeal/stand out to them musn't they? Thank you for that, that has made my day

lol barmy, I'm not sure but everytime he puts on a t shirt or trousers atm he says 'look Mummy no stains!' and I say ' i should think not sweetheart!'

PMSL! DS went for a wee in the toddler groups toilet a few months back and it had blue water with a bit of foam in the bottom. DS immediately says LOOK MUMMY!! Then he spews out the harpic advert and ends up saying "there are no germs here mummy!" Gotta laugh!

But I have to say the cillit bang advert will forever live on in my heart...was cleaning the toilet whilst he was in the bath and he saw the bottle..MUMMY! CILLIT BANG!! Cue spewing out advert which had me in hysterics along with strangers in sainsburys who also look wide eyed when he starts saying it whilst in the trolley going up the cleaning aisle! He doesn't do it very much at all anymore and whilst I should be pleased I can't help but miss it a little bit!

Hi mysonben

Also newish to the board. my son is being assessed now and all they will say at the mo is that his development is delayed.
I have been doing far too much reading around and at the moment I suspect dispraxia, asd, adhd and hypermobility.

I'm certainly experiencing all that starlightMackenzie lists. I also know that feeling of staying for a session at pre-school and realizing your lo is the most behind - its heartbreaking. But at the same time my ds is such a happy little soul and it doesn't bother him.

He does have his obsessions tho - He found a 2p in the park and spent all day putting it in and taking it out of his pocket. He can't always manage to find the pocket (!!??) so at various points in public today he had his fingers fiddling in his trousers whilst shouting in anguish "my hole, mummy, my hole"

Children know how to embarrass us in public, that's for sure!