How do you discipline if a child is so inconsistent? Need help!

[lou031205]

DD1 is so inconsistent that I am finding it really difficult to effectively discipline her. One day (or even hour) "going to her bedroom" is the worst thing in the world, so is effective. Another day, warning her that she will be taken to her bedroom results in "Yes please!" and her doing things she knows I won't like to try and get there.

Today she was climbing on a high glass unit (so had to be stopped for safety).
-I tried asking her gently & removing her - she thought it was a game.
-I tried warning her that she would go to her bedroom - she did it even more because she decided she would like that.
-I tried "naughty step" -something I was told 9 months ago to avoid because she treats it as a game, but I thought that might have changed- she laughed & thought it was a game, turned it into chase.
-I eventually put her in the garden because it was safe & she bawled her eyes out, begging to come back in. It is her favourite place

How do you discipline effectively if she keeps changing her mind as to what constitutes a punishment?

do you have a reward system in place? e.g. marbles in a jar? that way you could, instead of punishing her, NOT reward her for that part of the day so she doesn't get her treat. i can explain in more detail if that doesn't explain it very well.

I don't, stinkypants. She is very 'here and now', she can't even do something for 5 minutes without 1:1 support, so wonder if she would be able to appreciate that sort of abstract scheme?

But perhaps it could be modified somehow...

Watches thread with interest.DD also very much "Here and now".Sometimes firm NO suffices,othertimes just grins and giggles,Not memory for next time.

I agree sort of with stinky, even if you don't use a token system as she describes. You can consistently reward her when she is being good, "nice sitting", "thanks for eating X" etc (you could even do it on a timer!) and NOT reward her when she is not behaving well. You could combine it with a token/star system too, one token/star for each 4 or so treat she gets? And you must be clear if you do that, what the ultimate treat will be, preferably with a picture. Its very easy to write all that, a bugger to do!

Does she have a fav prog on TV?
DS is crazy about mr tumble. If his behaviour gets too difficult I tell him NO MR. T TODAY. He didn't understand concequences until recently but seems to now.
It doesn't work 100% of the time but does help. You can have a chart somewhere with a picture of her fav prog, if she asks for it, show her the picture and tell her YES YOU CAN WATCH IT, if she misbehaves take the picture off the chart, if she asks for it show her the chart and tell her NO YOU CANNOT.

Great ideas, thank you. I need to try these out & see how we get on.

do you have a now and next chart that you follow every day with a special activity
that she chooses if she can be good
maybe you could take the special activity away and she can earn it back with good behaviour maybe if she's sees the consequence visually then she may want to earn it back by being good

we used this for ds he got to choose painting or games and if was naughty he watched it being removed from chart and used to be so upset but by being good he could earn it back and we'd let him put it back on with lots of praises

fab idea, I can feel some laminating coming on!

sorry, have only just had chance to re-log on, but i can see you got some great advice. hope you get some good progress! small steps!