High Functioning Autism and bedtime??

[milou2]

Has anyone on here got a quick bed time routine, say 30-60 mnutes?

I wish!

watches thread with great interest

Depends on age and other circumstances.

DS functions best in the mornings so we switched to showering in the mornings and that's helped enormously.

I've used bathroom and bedtime visual checklists - they work well for some children but ds kept forgetting to look at them so it didn't work too well for us. A general visual timetable for how the day ends might help.

We use timers in the bathroom so he's not in there too long. Rewards (tokens, money always work well.

Bedtime should be nice, something the child wants to do rather than avoid and argue about. We have lava lamp, relaxing music/sounds playing etc so it's pleasant to be in bed. Prevents fighting and arguing at bedtime.

No tv in the bedroom or other major distractions. If you can eliminate bargaining tools and set a regular pattern that you don't veer from it is much easier.

You've got to decide on a realistic routine that you can stick to EVERY night - for the child, being able to depend on the same structure every time is very important. Avoid letting them stay up later 'for a treat' - give them an inch and they'll manipulate you forever to get the same privilege again .

Can't think of any more. Our bedtimes work OK now so I've forgotten most of the techniques we used to get here.

Sympathies -given up bedtime - now i just shove ds in bed when he starts rubbing eyes and pulling ear. Stupid little things throw our routine out so much that recently it has been 1am before I could get him to bed. We have cut off point. after a certain time it is time for me to get on with my stuff and if he is still up he either plays, reads or watches tv.

I agree busybeingmum its not worth the battle to get him to start in bed some nights.

Will confess though when now disruptions/changes then can get him in a routine and he will go down. Very rare and cheerished moments.

Thanks for your tales. I think I probably need moral support to keep to a strict timed routine. As you say one extra 15 minutes can lead to an extra hour the next night...

I find ds2 is unaware of how he needs to wind down for his own benefit. At the moment we move from one thing to the next in a familiar order. I go away and do something else, then come back to be with him and move him on again.

He is content to be in his room, so that is good. He generally brushes his teeth. So that is good too. It takes repeated requests and saintliness on my part before he does brush his teeth though.

He actually falls asleep while watching YouTube clips on my laptop. He has a wide bed so it is beside him and it just goes dark after he hasn't touched it for a few minutes.

He wants the light on all night, so I do try to turn the dimmer so it is less than 100% brightness.

It can take up to 4 hours. But I get a lot of rest, laptopping, ds1 time and tidying up done in that time. I used to get cross and shout, threaten etc, but apart from Friday night it is peaceful. That's why I started this.

More than the problem for me is the fact that he dislikes my mil or his father putting him to bed because they say good night and leave him and he gets very upset about being unable to have a familiar distraction to help him drop off. So I am the only one to do the whole bedtime routine. Breastfeeding him to sleep as a baby then telling him stories was bliss compared to this. For him too.

Hang in there -no body else can put ds to bed either. Daddy can manage it but no one else (good job really as he spends alternate weekends with daddy).

The rule i have is that babysitters don't put ds to bed. No point he wont go any way so not worth the battle. And I try not to make mid week plans.

I was mean it was sink or swim for ex. He has better night time success then me for whole night. Looking forward to when novalty wears off and regular visits mean that routine upset over ride desperate to spend time pleasing daddy effect1

Having the light on is a problem I find with a child I babysit. Have yet to find the perfect solution to that... dimming it and keeping on going back and checking it is kept dim does work a bit. Melatonin isn't generated in sufficient quantity until darkness... I think. Thus getting the room as dark as possible helps.

At home I have a lava lamp which gives a red glow... that seems to help me wind down. Not sure why - is red light supposed to help you sleep? Has anyone tried using different coloured lighting... I suspect purple/violet may be a good colour - but I can't find any highstreet shop that sells coloured bulbs.

i find a candle does trick with me -I have relaxing issues. maybe should use lava lamp more thanks for that nannynick! you might have saved my sanity -if i have any left

A local ASD support group to me was (was because it's now a NAS branch) called Save Our Sanity! Glad I could be of some help in trying to save your sanity.
Now if only I could save my own and find better ways to help me sleep at night.

Hunted around the net and found coloured bulbs online, but can't find any that are purple/violet.

i wish i had kept the red/purple one with added gold spider someone gave me for a birthday far too many years ago while at uni you could have had that with pleasure. Will let you know if i rediscover whilst spring cleaning. GOing to pull an all nighter after far to much coke

The darkness producing melatonin is probably a big factor in our household. Recently we had a power cut at 9pm. So no computers, games, tv, or light! Hey presto...the children focussed totally on me, ds2 followed me and the candle to bed, listened while I read out a story and ruined my eyes and he was asleep 2-3 hours earlier than normal.

So it's all the inventor of electricity's fault for undermining family life. Huh! If I could book powercuts for every 9pm I'd be a hapy woman.

It was significantly easier, though long, last night, I kept on reading a book on buddhism and ds2 was very smiley and happy. I even managed to paint my finger nails in a spare moment.

I think I will start looking for 40W bulbs at the supermarket.

Now there is an idea... have a powercut every night.

Though alas the Nintendo DS will still work. Perhaps that kind of thing needs to be kept in a locked cupboard downstairs after 7pm.

nannynick - ikea have ghosty nightlight and there is a red one -if its any help. Expensive compared to light bulbs but rechargable and pretty indestructable (ds has tried)

We have always had 40w bulbs and I still need a power cut - and that's just to knock some sense into me!